Rosa let out a final grunt, and the lid popped open with a loud crack. She nearly punched herself in the face as it gave way.
"Ha-ha!" she muttered, holding up the container like a gladiator displaying her prize.
Ray gave a slow clap from the bed. "Truly inspiring. You wrestled Tupperware and lived to tell the tale."
Rosa smirked. "Shut up. This thing was vacuum sealed like it was guarding state secrets."
Jake and Gina stood frozen in the doorway. Jake's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. Gina, of course, kept recording.
Ray noticed them first. He raised one eyebrow. "Do you two need something, or are you conducting a creep stakeout in the hallway?"
Jake flailed. "What? No. Absolutely not. We were just, uh… making sure your room complied with hospital fire codes. You know, safety first. We heard noises and thought maybe there was… a fire. Or two fires. Double fire."
Rosa turned her head slowly, eyes narrowing like a cat spotting prey. She gave a menacing grin. "You thought… we were hooking up, didn't you?"
Jake's face went pale. "What? No! Ha. That is absurd. Crazy. Wild. Totally… accurate?"
Rosa took one step toward him, and he nearly wheeled himself straight into the wall. "Please don't kill me. I like my spine un-snapped."
Gina finally lowered her phone, grinning like a cat that ate the canary. "Relax, Jake. It is funnier to let Rosa kill you after she finishes her hospital visit. Keeps the drama pacing tight."
Ray deadpanned, "Do I need to sign a waiver before Rosa commits homicide in my room?"
Rosa crossed her arms. "No waiver. Just swift justice."
Jake pointed frantically at the container in her hand. "See, that's what I was hearing! Totally thought it was something else. Honest mistake. Very honest. Extremely mistake."
Rosa picked up another container from the bedside table and shoved it at him. "Good. You opened your big mouth. Now you open this salsa jar."
Jake grabbed it nervously, tried twisting, and immediately winced. "Ow. My butt wound is flaring up. Sorry. Medical exemption."
Ray smirked. "Hand it here."
Jake wheeled his chair and gave him the box. He twisted it open in one effortless motion.
Jake gawked. "What the...?! I loosened it for you!"
Rosa snorted. "Sure you did."
Gina raised her phone again. "Title of the documentary: Detective Jake Peralta, Loosener of Jars, Not of Women."
Jake groaned. "I'm never living this down."
Rosa leaned in close. "Correct."
Ray shifted upright against his pillows and gestured at the little fold-out table where Rosa had laid out the spread. Foil trays of tacos, burritos wrapped in paper, and two giant bags of nachos sat waiting.
"Well," he said evenly, "since you two already invaded, might as well make yourselves useful and eat something. Rosa brought enough food for a football team."
Rosa smirked. "Correction. A very hungry football team." She took a burrito, opened the foil, and took a massive bite.
Jake's eyes lit up. "Wait. Are you saying… tacos in a hospital room? That's like combining my two favorite things: food and ignoring medical regulations."
Ray shrugged. "Grab a plate. We've got salsa, guac, queso. And for the adventurous…" He held up a small glass bottle filled with a sinister red sauce. The label read in bold, jagged letters: Dragon's Breath Inferno.
Jake's eyes widened like a kid at Christmas. "Is that the one with the skull on the label? The one that says 'Not for human consumption' in three different languages?"
"Yup," Ray said flatly.
Gina grabbed a pack of nachos and plopped herself onto the couch, scrolling on her phone. "I'm only here for the hospital Wi-Fi and the schadenfreude. Carry on."
Within minutes, the four of them were munching away while watching a basketball game on the TV. Jake leaned forward in his wheelchair, eyes glued to the screen. "Yes! Dunk it, dunk it, dunk it—ohhh that's what I'm talking about!"
Rosa raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you like basketball?"
Jake didn't look away. "Since this guy dunked so hard the announcer yelled like he was witnessing the second coming."
Ray exchanged a glance with Rosa, then slowly, very casually, reached for Jake's taco sitting on the table. He unscrewed the lid of the Dragon's Breath Inferno and drizzled a streak of molten red across the filling.
Gina noticed immediately. She grinned like the devil and gave Ray an approving thumbs-up.
Jake snatched the taco back without ever breaking eye contact with the TV. "Yes, yes, yes... this is it! Game winning three-pointer! Boom!" He took a massive bite.
Two seconds later, his eyes bulged. His whole body stiffened. A noise like a dying kettle whistle escaped his throat. Then it came.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jake shrieked so loudly the TV remote rattled off the table. He flailed in his wheelchair, clutching his tongue. "I'M DYING! MY MOUTH IS LITERALLY ON FIRE! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CALL AQUAMAN, CALL—"
Rosa calmly popped open a bottle of smoothie. "Drama queen."
Ray leaned back in bed, smirking. "Tastes fine to me."
Jake fanned his mouth desperately. "Fine? Fine? My tongue is doing the Macarena inside a volcano! This is not fine!"
"'My tongue is doing the Macarena inside a volcano!' Title of your sex tape," Ray said as he threw a nacho into his mouth.
"That's a good one, but not now, Ray. Gimme something, please. I promise I won't ever sneak up on you two. Ever..." Jake begged while sweat dripped down his face. And his face was red, plus tears.
Ray gave Rosa a nod. She gave Jake the smoothie bottle.
Jake grabbed it and started chugging it.
Gina was doubled over, recording the entire thing. "Oh my God, this is better than television. This is my Emmy reel."
"What was that about that time when you participated in a hot wings challenge and won the first prize?" Rosa raised an eyebrow. "I knew it. You were lying back then just to get that girl's number. Haha!"
At that exact moment, the hospital door swung open.
Emma Watson stood in the doorway, wearing a simple coat and scarf, looking every bit like a startled deer caught in a very weird spotlight.
Her gaze swept across the scene: Jake chugging the smoothie and flapping his arms, Gina laughing while recording, Rosa calmly eating a burrito, and Ray sitting in bed holding the bottle of Dragon's Breath like it was fine wine.
There was a long beat of silence.
Finally, Emma blinked and said in her soft British accent, "I… think I came at the wrong time."
Jake, still gasping, tried to wave. "No, no, no, you're Emma Watson. You're Hermione. You're the chosen one. Wait, no, wrong franchise, but still! You're—aaahhhhhh hot sauce, burning, dying, smoothie not helping, help!"
Ray lifted the bottle of Dragon's Breath and gave Emma a small smirk. "Wrong time? No. You came at exactly the right time. We were just testing Jake's pain threshold."
Jake flailed his arms like a malfunctioning windmill. "What pain threshold? My mouth is melting faster than an ice cube in a sauna!"
Emma hesitated, then stepped inside, clutching her scarf a little tighter. "Well… it looks lively in here."
Rosa leaned back in her chair, burrito in hand. "Welcome to the party. Grab a plate. Ignore Jake, he's being dramatic."
Jake rubbed his tongue furiously on his shirt. "I'm not dramatic. This is karma. Sweet, spicy, nuclear karma. I totally deserve this for lying about that hot wing contest in college."
Ray raised an eyebrow. "So you admit it now?"
Jake wheezed. "Yes! I never ate the wings! I just wanted that girl's number. Spoiler alert, she was vegan."
Emma pressed a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. "That… sounds like a very poor strategy."
"Tell me about it," Jake croaked.
Gina, still recording, spun her phone dramatically like she was hosting a live show. "Breaking news. My astrology app was right again. It said Geminis were going to get burned today. Jake got burned. Literally. Case closed."
Jake groaned between gulps of smoothie. "Your app is a scam."
Gina widened her eyes theatrically. "Then explain this exact moment. Destiny. The stars wanted to watch you cry milk into a hospital pillow."
Emma finally laughed out loud, shaking her head. "You lot are completely mad."
[A few hours later...]
Over the next hour, the hospital room turned into something halfway between a sports bar and a comedy club. Jake alternated between crying into a pillow and screaming at the TV whenever his team missed a shot. Rosa demolished two burritos and half a nacho tray without breaking eye contact with the game. Gina kept doing live commentary for her followers, turning every groan Jake made into a dramatic slow-motion replay.
Emma laughed more than she had in weeks. The tension that had hung over her shoulders seemed to loosen with every joke, every ridiculous outburst. By the time visiting hours were nearly over, she was smiling in that quiet, grateful way that made everyone forget she was a global star and just another person enjoying tacos with friends.
She stood up, brushing crumbs from her coat. "Thank you. Really. For the food, for the company, for… all of this. I needed a good laugh more than you know."
Rosa gave her a rare smile. "Anytime."
Jake sniffled dramatically, pointing at his swollen tongue. "If I die from hot sauce poisoning, put on my gravestone: He burned so others could laugh."
"No one's putting that on your gravestone," Rosa said flatly.
Emma chuckled, adjusting her coat. "Still. You made a very strange evening… oddly comforting."
Just then, Gina's phone buzzed. She answered, her voice instantly shifting into "Gina cool-girl" mode. "Amy. Yes, I'm free. Yes, drinks sound divine. Yes, my aura also told me today was a margarita day." She hung up, eyes sparkling. "Ladies. How about it? Girls night. Cocktails, secrets, karaoke. Emma, Rosa, Amy and me. We'll call it… Quad Threat Thursdays."
Emma blinked, caught off guard. "Oh. I… would actually like that."
Rosa raised an eyebrow. "Quad Threat Thursdays? It's Friday."
Gina waved her hand. "Time is a social construct, Rosa. Drinks are forever."
Rosa glanced at Ray. He gave her a calm nod from the bed. "Go. But don't overdo it. You're still on medication."
Rosa smirked. "I'll behave. Mostly."
"Emphasis on mostly," Ray said.
Emma smiled, looking almost relieved. "All right. Girls night it is."
Gina clapped once, triumphant. "Perfect. Time to go. See ya later, boys."
Rosa leaned in toward Ray, and they kissed for a moment before she pulled away.
The trio left after that.
Jake wheeled around to face Ray with a lopsided grin. "So. Just us guys now. Alone. In a hospital room. Watching sports. Eating tacos. You know what that means?"
Ray arched an eyebrow. "That you're about to say something ridiculous?"
Jake pointed at him dramatically. "Wrong. It means… this is officially a bro night. You and me. Bromance central."
"Or, we could sneak out and have some fun? I can probably bribe the nurses to keep it quiet," Ray said with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sick of lying on all day."
Jake instantly took out his phone and dialled a number.
"Calling Boyle?" Ray asked.
"Calling Boyle," Jake grinned.
---
[4 days later] [Emma Stone's hotel room]
Emma came back after a long day of photoshoot and promotion events. She locked the door and took off her clothes before heading toward the bathroom.
She cracked her neck a bit and then stretched her arms as a large yawn escaped her lips. "Haaa... God! I'm exhausted..."
She took a quick bath and went straight to bed.
[Morning]
The sudden sound of a phone call woke her up.
Emma rubbed her eyes and grabbed the phone that was beside her pillow. She looked at the caller ID. It was an unknown number.
"Arrgg!" She groaned, disconnected the call and went to sleep. But within a minute, her phone rang again. It was the same number. She looked at the screen. "What the..." She took the call.
"Hello!"
"You should check your mail," A distorted voice came from the other side.
"Who is it?" Emma asked.
The call got disconnected.
Emma noticed a new email notification. So, she opened it and found a couple of files attached to a blank email. She opened one and sat up straight on the bed. Her drowsiness disappeared instantly.
On the screen was a nude picture of her under the shower.
Emma quickly opened another file. It was a GD link. She opened it and found a small clip of her taking a bath.
"Shit!"
---
[POWERSTONES AND REVIEWS PLS]
Support link: www.patr eon.com/UnknownMaster
[24 advance chs] [No double billing.]
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