Ficool

Chapter 94 - Chapter 94: Several Jokes about Theodosia

Not long after Manuel's private intelligence network was officially formalized into the Covert Department, Theodosia's Inquisition was also established under his supervision. In addition to the partially deployed "Watchers" Force, these three major departments would henceforth be the important pillars of Theodosia's public order, security, and religious unity.

When later historians evaluated these three departments during this period, they always argued until their faces were red, and there were even several instances where experts at academic seminars turned the meetings into comical, no-holds-barred fighting contests.

Opponents believed that these three departments restricted the personal freedom of the Romans in Theodosia at the time, threatened their privacy and private property, and were also a sign of the later empire's despotism, as well as the precursor to the long-prevalent secret police system.

Proponents believed that such covert and indirect supervision was conducive to controlling the restless commercial cities during the Middle Ages, and also accelerated the evolution of the local feudal system towards a centralized system.

Furthermore, some pointed out that the Covert Department at the time actually did not have legal enforcement power, existing more as a Sword of Damocles against feudal lords and wealthy citizens, rather than against peasants or urban poor.

However, most historians believe that this was an understandable action, at least in the 15th century, and not to harshly criticize its instigator—the then Crown Prince Theodore of Theodosia, later Manuel III, the founding emperor of the Goth Dynasty.

Some have suggested that the empire's long-standing relaxed artistic atmosphere later on showed signs during his time as a dignitary in Theodosia, because several jokes circulating in Theodosia at the time were reportedly personally ordered by him not to be used for arbitrary arrests or excessive restrictions, thus allowing them to be preserved for later generations.

The following are a few representative jokes compiled by later scholars, offering a glimpse into the prevailing atmosphere of the time.

1. Inside Yuzhne Prison, three prisoners gathered, asking each other why they were arrested. One prisoner said, "I slandered Lord Arno."

Another prisoner said, "I praised Lord Arno."

The third prisoner said, "I am Arno."

2. Several young local nobles gathered to discuss Theodosia's affairs, and one of them loudly exclaimed, "Crown Prince's Commander of the Guard, Badars, is utterly useless!"

After this, the person was reported by the Covert Department and officially arrested by the Watchers Force, sentenced to a fine of 3,000 ducats and exiled to the Kerch Isthmus.

The 3,000 ducat fine was because he attacked Theodosia's high-ranking officials with malicious remarks, and his exile to the Kerch Isthmus was because he leaked Principality secrets.

3. A minor noble loudly complained after leaving the palace, "That department is absolutely rotten!"

As a result, a member of the Covert Department overheard him and deliberately bypassed the reporting process to the Watchers Force, arresting him privately.

The minor noble argued, "I didn't say which department!"

The Covert Department member roared, "I've lived in Theodosia for so many years; do you think I wouldn't know which department is rotten?"

4. At an important meeting in Theodosia, the host began to discuss Covert Department matters, then asked those who believed the Covert Department's actions were reasonable and legal to sit on the left, and those who believed otherwise to sit on the right.

Only one youth remained seated in the middle, not moving at all.

The host asked curiously, "Excuse me, sir, do you think the Covert Department's actions are reasonable and legal?"

The youth replied, "I believe that the various actions of the Covert Department are naturally legal in terms of procedure, but it's understandable if some unreasonable things occur during the execution process."

Upon hearing this, the host hurriedly said, "Your Highness, please come up to the stage quickly."

5. An important official questioned the Crown Prince, asking if the Covert Department's often inexplicable actions truly made its existence necessary.

In response, the Crown Prince himself explained, "The Covert Department, as the department that deals with the Principality's scourges, is like a cat catching a mouse, a divine duty blessed by the Holy Father."

"But Manuel," the Crown Prince's fiancée then asked curiously, "what if the cat wants to sharpen its claws?"

6. "If the Covert Department and the Inquisition had been established in Mangup first, the effect would certainly have been better than starting in Theodosia."

"You're right, but what did we in Mangup ever do to you?"

7. Haji Giray and Manuel-Olubey Gavras argued on the western coast of the Black Sea about the obedience of their respective subjects.

Haji Giray said, "The tribal people under my Khan will never go west if I say east."

After speaking, he ordered a Tatar attendant beside him to jump into the Black Sea, swim several nautical miles, and then return.

The Tatar cried sorrowfully, "Your Majesty, I still have my family. If I must carry out this order, please let them, especially my parents, live out their golden years in peace."

Haji Giray was overcome with shame and quickly stopped his Tatar attendant.

Seeing this, Manuel, with a gentle smile, ordered a lord standing beside him to carry out the same command that Haji Giray had given earlier.

The lord, having received the order, immediately jumped into the Black Sea without hesitation.

Haji Giray, who was nearby, quickly had his subordinates stop him, "Are you crazy? What about your family?"

The lord immediately shouted, "Please don't stop me, for the sake of my family!"

More Chapters