You know those fantasy games where a sunshine heroine goes around collecting hot guys like Pokémon cards?
Yeah. I'm inside one.
No, I'm not a capture target. I'm not the prince, or the duke.
I'm just the childhood friend. The side character. The one who exists so the heroine has someone to cry to after her love interests stab each other over her.
...Wait. That wasn't a joke. That actually happens in this game.
The title is Blessings of the Blossoming Heart: Sweet Romance Academy.
I call it Please Don't Choose the Harem Route, You Idiot.
Let's rewind a bit.
My name is... whatever. Doesn't matter. Let's just say I was a very average guy in my past life. Mild grades, zero romance, and a best friend who was obsessed with a certain sparkly, flowery death simulator disguised as a romance game.
One day, while walking down the school corridor, I stepped on a banana peel and fell down the stairs. Which stupid idiot threw a banana peel near the staircase?! I didn't even die from our progenitor, a.k.a. Truck-kun—just a stupid death caused by a brainless schoolmate.
Next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and—ta-da—I'm five years old, in the body of the heroine's childhood friend.
That's right. That boring little side character who dies in almost every bad ending.
Or gets possessed.
Or sold into slavery.
In the best ending? He gets to be a background NPC forever.
I thought, Okay, stay out of the plot. Be safe.
But then the heroine got into the prestigious Ardenell Academy, and her sponsor—aka my noble family—decided to send me with her.
And now I'm back in the story I was trying to avoid.
So What's the Plan?
Simple:
Stay out of the spotlight.
Avoid death flags.
Make sure the heroine doesn't go harem.
Graduate quietly.
And maybe... just maybe... survive with all my limbs and no emotional damage.
Easy, right?
...Right?