Rukia spun around so fast she nearly tripped over her own feet.
Nobody was there.
When she turned back, Kurotsuki was grinning like a cat that just stole the cream—because he had. The book she'd been holding was already in his hand.
Rukia yelped, cheeks burning, while he chuckled at her expression—half embarrassment, half outrage.
'Let's use my secret weapon… rizz.'
Kurotsuki's grin spread, sharp and smug. "Heh. Works every time."
Rukia groaned, shoulders slumping. "Haaa… you're impossible sometimes."
"Impossible? Nah." He set the book down with a casual flick, eyes gleaming. "Come on, admit it. You don't really see me that way. At least with me, you don't have to pretend. You can just… be yourself."
The words struck deeper than she wanted to admit. Her heart gave a small, traitorous jolt.
"W-What do you mean?"
"What else could I mean?" He shrugged lightly, though his gaze never wavered. "You don't have to be so stiff and serious all the time, like you're carrying the whole Soul Society on your back. Relax. You're not the Soul King. Just… breathe."
"I… I'm not always serious. Right?"
"Actually… yeah. Always. Even with Captain Ukitake." His eyes sharpened, though his tone stayed light. And you hide things too. Your frustrations, your worries. You think showing them makes you weak. But if you never share them, how do you overcome them? How do the people who care about you even know?"
Rukia froze, his words slicing right into the core of her insecurities.
Her chest tightened.
He's right… But what can I do? I can't bring shame to the Kuchiki name… yet my skills are average.
My kido?
Average.
My swordsmanship?
Worse.
Even Toshiro, younger than me, is already near captain level with his shunpo.
Kurotsuki hasn't even been a Shinigami for five years, and he's already faster than anyone in our squad except Captain Ukitake… I'm pathetic.
I couldn't even save Kaien-dono… Why did Nii-sama even bring me into the clan? I'm a burden…
Before the spiral could consume her, Kurotsuki bonked her over the head with a book.
"—Ow!" she yelped, clutching her head. The suffocating atmosphere vanished in an instant. "Why would you do that?!"
"Senpai," he said innocently, "wanna know a secret?"
Her eyebrow twitched.
Now?
Really?
But curiosity won. "…Fine."
She leaned closer.
He leaned in too—then smacked her on the head again with the same book.
"—O-O-OOW!" Rukia's shriek earned angry shhhhs from across the library. Her face burned redder than a tomato. "Y-You—! Why again?!"
Kurotsuki smirked, sliding the book back onto the shelf. "Feeling better now?"
"…What?"
"Your expression. You were drowning in self-pity. Comparing yourself to others. Telling yourself you're unworthy of the Kuchiki name. And blaming yourself for Kaien-senpai's death."
The mention of Kaien stabbed like a blade. Rukia's breath hitched, her chest aching.
She almost sank back into guilt—until Kurotsuki's warning cut through.
"Unless you want another bonk, stop looking like that."
"…I… I'm sorry. I just can't…"
"Then listen." Kurotsuki grabbed a few books and sat, motioning for her to join him.
She did, reluctantly.
"Kaien's death wasn't your fault," he said firmly. "Captain Ukitake told me everything." Before she could protest, he added, "Kaien wanted you to fight by his side, didn't he?"
Rukia faltered.
Words failed her.
"You know Ukitake-dono's philosophy, right? Two kinds of battles."
"…Yes," she whispered. "One to protect life… and one to protect pride."
"Exactly. But what if—" Kurotsuki leaned forward, his eyes glinting "—what if someone's pride is their life? If they lose it, then even victory leaves them empty. So maybe it's not about pride versus life. Maybe it's about protecting whatever's in your heart. Friends. Comrades. Dignity. Whatever makes you… you."
He softened his tone. "Kaien fought that Hollow. Even possessed, he tried to regain himself. And in the end, he chose to die by your blade. Rukia… do you really think he'd want you to remember him with guilt? Or with warmth?"
Inside Kurotsuki's mind, he scoffed at himself.
Still a fool… pride is what fools believe in. As an assassin, he had learned long ago—pride is a person's greatest weakness. The moment you cling to it, you're already dead.
Still, he couldn't say it out loud.
Among the Shinigami, pride isn't weakness—it's sacred.
To spit on it would be a death sentence.
She stared at him, trembling.
"Kaien wanted you to keep moving forward. To carry him in your heart, not as a weight but as strength. That's what he'd want, don't you think?"
He gave a sad, almost mocking smile.
Not that he'd eally know.
In his old life, he only knew killing. He shut away his soul.
Family.
Pride.
Love.
All the things he killed in himself.
Maybe now, in this new body of his, he can finally be more than an empty blade.
Maybe he can truly experience life.
Rukia's lips trembled.
The words Kaien once told her echoed in her mind.
"When we come into contact with each other… a connection of hearts is created…" she whispered.
"Hm?" Kurotsuki tilted his head.
She went on, voice steadier: "A connection forms when we think of someone. Because if I were the only one left in the world, I'd no longer have a heart. And if your heart still exists… then that alone gives you the right to be here. And that's enough."
Kurotsuki blinked, startled by the depth of her words. Slowly, he nodded. "Yeah. That… sounds about right, Rukia."
And then, to his utter panic, tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.
"W-What the hell?! Why are you crying?!" His hands hovered awkwardly, useless.
"Damn it… I'm not good at this stuff." He rubbed his neck, flustered. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"
Maybe he's lost his temperament.
He has spent too much time with Captain Jushiro… it changed him.
The assassin he once was is becoming something new.
And he couldn't tell if it was a good change or a bad one.
But Rukia shook her head, smiling through the tears. "No… more like, thank you. Kurotsuki."