Deep in the black cold void of space, Vilgax "The Conqueror of Ten Worlds" sat upon his ship's throne, scheming about his next plan to defeat his biggest obstacle on intergalactic domination, Ben Tennyson: The wielder of The Omnitrix. The ship's command centre was filled with an ominous silence until Psyphon shuffled in carrying a greasy paper bag.
"My lord," Psyphon declared dramatically, "at long last, I have uncovered Ben Tennyson's most devastating weakness!"
Vilgax's eyes narrowed. "You discovered the secrets to the omnitrix?"
"No my lord but, Something even better," Psyphon replied with fiendish glee, pulling out a container of chili fries and holding up the Mr. Smoothie cup. "My master Behold, his fuel source! He consumes these constantly!"
Vilgax stared at the items, his expression shifting from confusion to familiar recognition. "Aren't these the dishes he tried offering me when I unfortunately had to ask for his help against Z'Skayr? What was the name of that place again? Furger Lack?"
"It's Burger Shack, my lord," Psyphon corrected politely.
"Ah yes, and wasn't this what Albedo was constantly eating when he was making that knockoff Omnitrix while trapped as Ben Tennyson's genetic copy?" His eyes gleamed with sudden understanding. "It makes sense. This must be what fuels the Tennysons. That's why Albedo had to consume it constantly against his will."
There was a long silence as the dots started to connect in the Space Tyrant's mind. The threat to his galactic conquest by the human brat suddenly seemed to be solvable.
"Precisely, my lord!" Psyphon exclaimed, thrilled that his theory was gaining credibility. "If we destroy all of these establishments, we can cut off his power source and weaken him!"
Psyphon carefully placed the fries and smoothie on the small table beside Vilgax's throne. The warlord examined the offerings with renewed interest, now viewing them as another possible tool to use against Ben to claim the omnitrix.
"Where are my fork and knife Psyphon!?" Vilgax demanded, looking around expectantly.
Psyphon blinked. "My lord… they are supposed to be eaten by hand."
Vilgax recoiled as if struck. "Humans eat food with their hands? That's barbaric! I wouldn't descend to such…."
He stopped mid-sentence, staring at the golden, cheese-dripping fries. For a chance to find his arch nemesis's weakness, of course. Against every fiber of his dignified being, he reluctantly reached down with his clawed fingers and plucked a single fry.
The spice hit him like a plasma cannon. He grabbed Mr. Smoothie and took a massive gulp. The icy cold sweetness of the drink combined with the burning hot spice of the fries created a flavor explosion that made his taste buds crave it more and more.
As the taste started registering, his facial tentacles began to wiggle with delight, then swing, then full-on dance in a rhythmic beat. The king of Vilgaxia tried to maintain his serious expression in front of his subjects, but his tentacles betrayed him completely, bouncing and wiggling left and right as if they were at a celebration of sorts.
Psyphon covered his mouth as his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. The robot minions began emitting mechanical giggles that started to echo through the chamber.
"SILENCE!" Vilgax roared, his tentacles still dancing despite his fury, which only made everyone giggle harder. "This is…important research! To understand Tennyson's biology!"
He grabbed another fry, his tentacles doing a little wiggle of anticipation.
"My lord..." Psyphon ventured carefully, "should I prepare the invasion fleet?"
Vilgax paused mid-chew, his tentacles still swaying happily. He looked at the nearly empty container, then at the smoothie, then at his gleeful tentacles.
"Change of plans, Psyphon," he declared with the gravitas of announcing galactic war. "We're not destroying these establishments. We're... protecting them. For research purposes."
"Protecting them, my lord?"
"Yes. And bring me their cooks. I need them aboard immediately for... intensive research on Tennyson biology." His tentacles wiggled excitedly. "And tomorrow, you're getting the large size."
Three Months Later….
Vilgax stood on his castle's balcony overlooking the bustling cityscape of Vilgaxia, a steaming cheesy burger in one hand, chili fries in the other, and a large Mr. Smoothie cup placed on a table beside him. Below his palace in the city, dozens of combined Burger Shack & Mr. Smoothies outlets dotted the landscape, their neon signs glowing against the alien architecture. Giant holographic displays showed his own tentacled face grinning beside the slogan: "EAT LIKE A CONQUEROR!!!"
Native Chimera Sui Generis walked happily between the stores, their own tentacles wiggling with delight as they carried bags of food. Some wore little promotional hats with Vilgax's face on them.
"My lord," Psyphon said, approaching with his own tray stacked with a burger, fries, and smoothie, "the quarterly profits are in. We're now the most successful fast food empire in three galaxies."
Vilgax nodded approvingly, taking a generous bite of his large triple patty burger before sipping his strawberry smoothie. His tentacles performed a little victory dance as he watched his subjects enjoy their meals.
"Excellent work Psyphon. Who knew galactic domination could be so... Delicious." He raised his burger like a chalice in a toast. "To research."
"To research, my lord," Psyphon agreed, clinking his smoothie cup against his master's cup, and they both continued eating as the sun set over their fast food empire.