"I said, pull a little more gently! My pants are about to give up!"
The night in Japan was quite silent. Thanks to the clear division between residential and commercial areas, Miyazawa Yuu basically didn't run into anyone on the way from Aina's apartment to the train station.
But even a stray cat suddenly darting out of an alley would make the three girls shriek, and accordingly, his pants would experience a top-tier tugging.
To be honest, these pants had been with him for a long time. If "Pants-kun" died, he'd be sent away to eat bread and water!
"You talk too much... it's your fault for suggesting horror movies in the first place! You have to get us all home, you know!"
"Yes, yes. After all, I don't want Kaya-san to hold a knife to my throat the next day..."
He went through the ticket gate. Since it was a residential area, the subway station was empty, save for one or two drunks wearing headbands who had clearly been over-served at a party, sleeping against pillars.
This was one of the main sources of threat for the girls. Although most office workers are good-natured and at most might make some loose comments after drinking, some drunks really do escalate to getting handsy. Perhaps this is what they call "alcohol-fueled courage."
[Now arriving at Kaiwan-cho Station. Passengers, please take your belongings and exit in an orderly manner!]
"I'm telling you... that new section chief in the general affairs department? Beautiful!"
"Get real! Your wife is waiting for you. Stop talking nonsense—do you even have the guts?!"
Swaying as they got off the train, the returning office workers were hit by the warm breeze outside. As they spoke, they squinted their eyes, using their remaining brainpower to control their legs.
But his left leg tripped his right, and within two steps, he tilted and fell toward the side, looking for all the world like he was about to take a nap right then and there!
However...
Thud!
"Huh? Sorry! Hey! Yamamoto, you bastard, come help me! I think I hit someone..."
"A person?"
Exerting all his effort to open his eyelids, which were fighting his will, the office worker named Yamamoto squinted toward his friend. Sure enough, the guy was being helped up, except...
"Thank you! Thank you! Here is my business card. I'm truly sorry for the trouble."
"No problem. Work is tough; care to learn about fitness through diving?"
"Diving?"
Drunkenly taking the business card handed to him, the office worker looked up but didn't see a face. Instead, two exceptionally distinct pectoral muscles were particularly prominent.
Baffled, he continued to look up and finally found a head at the peak of the mountain-like muscle mass.
"Whoa... I'm really drunk. Why haven't this guy's clothes loaded in properly?"
"Exactly. Is it a lag issue showing the base model separately? The clothing layer didn't render? Let's fix this bug tomorrow..."
"Ah, they're programmers!"
Watching the drunks leave arm-in-arm with a look of speechlessness, Miyazawa Yuu identified their professions without effort.
The layers didn't render? Sounds like a pretty good excuse for being half-naked! I'll take it!
"Hey, hey! Yuu, get on the train!"
"You actually didn't forget to promote the shop even now? Hard worker..."
"Anyone is a potential customer, especially a customer involved in a strange plot. They're even more likely to become a repeat customer! That's business thinking!"
Chatting idly with the girls, Miyazawa Yuu sat with his legs crossed on one side of the empty train.
Supported by the bright lights and the shame of being associated with a "naked" man, the girls all chose to sit on the other side, distancing themselves with light speed. He wondered what excuse they'd use to stick to him again when they got off.
"Thanks for today..."
Finally settled, Miyazawa Yuu looked up at the ceiling of the train for two seconds, then suddenly looked at the three girls who were slumped like puddles and thanked them: "You guys intentionally used exaggerated methods to make Aina realize what she really wants, right?"
"Heh, aren't you the same, Yuu..."
With a mocking snort, Kiyoko Kamio lifted her head from Kanako's "chest" and fiercely exposed the disguise beneath Miyazawa Yuu's "fun-seeker" exterior—
"Intentionally playing horror movies. Your goal was the same as ours. What right do you have to criticize us?!"
"Well~ Aina is just so awkward and always hesitating to take a leap."
In the PaB club, the person Yuu was most worried about was actually Aina. She really was as she appeared: no schemes and prone to overthinking.
In the outside world, she was the type to be tricked into having three kids in five years. Even protected by her seniors, she gave off the feeling that she might become a "loser heroine" if they weren't careful!
And while Iori and Chisa were a bickering couple, anyone with eyes could see they would absolutely end up together.
By contrast, the difference was stark!
[Now arriving at Oumi Station! Please...]
"Hmm, does this train run on the Oumi Women's University line?"
"Yeah. Our rental place is at the next stop. Keiko's brother is picking her up there. You just need to get me and Kiyoko home!"
Glancing out the window, Kanako Iida saw a familiar figure and tilted her head. "Wait, isn't that the girl who went to karaoke with us? Busujima-something..."
"Busujima?"
Hearing this, Miyazawa Yuu looked at his phone in confusion. It was already past 11:00 PM; what was Sakurako Busujima doing wandering around at this hour...
"Hold on, something's not right. You guys stay here, don't move. I'll be right back!"
"Hm?"
Watching Miyazawa Yuu's retreating back as he hurried toward the next carriage, Kiyoko Kamio let out a confused grunt and asked: "What is it, Kanako?"
"That girl named Busujima seemed to be supported by someone as they entered the next carriage. Not sure if it was a boyfriend..."
...
Meanwhile, in the next carriage, Sakurako Busujima—who was dead drunk after a gathering with some "easy targets" because she was in a terrible mood—was currently fighting a bout of dizziness.
By comparison, what made her even more uncomfortable was the male college student beside her who was being far too persistent!
She had already stated clearly that she had no interest in anyone who wasn't "pretty." To think he'd still insist on following her onto the train—does he really think being a "simp" will get him everything in the end?!
"Ms. Busujima, where do you live? You're so drunk, let me walk you home."
"Not necessary! If you have the time, go get some sleep and find a job! If you don't have the looks, then get lost and go work or study to improve yourself! Persistence is useless!"
"But..."
His face instantly flushed. The freshman, who hadn't seen much of the world, was completely bewildered. In fact, this was his first time at a mixer, and he just thought walking a girl home was being a gentleman, so...
"Bro, listen to me..."
"Eh?"
A hand suddenly landed on his shoulder. Startled, the pure-hearted male student turned around quickly. However, when he saw what was talking to him, it brought an even greater shock—
Why the hell is there a naked man on the train?! And the kind with loose underwear at that!
"Wh-who are you?"
"I am the Hard-Boiled Sprite of your heart!"
"Eh?"
His skill at talking nonsense with a straight face was top-tier. Facing the questioning gaze, Miyazawa Yuu remained calm and composed, like a mountain standing firm against a storm.
As for why he had rushed over...
Are you kidding?! The boy beside Busujima was neither "pretty" nor did he look rich. Why would someone only slightly better than Nojima get close to Busujima—was he looking to be mistreated? He had to slap the guy awake!
"Young man! Listen up: there is no future in being a simp!"
"But, I just wanted to walk the girl home..."
"Foolish! Modern college women are so independent! To think you would naturally place them in a weak position—is that not discrimination?!!!"
"?"
Seeing the student before him slowly tilt his head in confusion, Miyazawa Yuu shook his head in disappointment and continued his lecture: "Besides, 'favorability' is decided from the first glance. Forcing it will only leave you hurt!"
"Is... that so? Is that what the Hard-Boiled Sprite in my heart thinks? That makes so much sense!"
Having drunk quite a bit, he was already in a state where he was easily misled. After being stunned by this combo, the "anti-simp" philosophy seamlessly entered his brain as if he were thinking: So that's what I actually thought!
Touched, he grabbed the Hard-Boiled Sprite's hand, tears welling in his eyes as he nodded frantically. "I'll remember that! Hard-Boiled Sprite!"
"Such spirit! Now, what should you do?"
"Go home, get some sleep, and find a part-time job to improve myself! I will resolutely not be a simp!"
"Excellent! Go!"
Though he didn't know why he was leaving, the student was very obedient. He stood up and rushed toward the next carriage as if running toward a new tomorrow!
However, at the last moment, curiosity got the better of him. He couldn't help but turn back and ask: "U-um... why aren't you wearing clothes?"
"You're drunk! So the layers haven't loaded in!"
"I see! That makes so much sense!"
"..."
Having witnessed a textbook-level bamboozling from start to finish, Sakurako Busujima sat with her mouth agape, her eyes full of shock. After a long while, she squeezed out a sentence smelling of alcohol: "Miyazawa Yuu, has anyone ever told you that you're perfectly suited for cult leadership?"
"Cult leader or not, I wouldn't know..."
Gratified as he watched the reformed student disappear from sight, Miyazawa Yuu marveled at what a good person he was—even in the middle of the night, he didn't forget to do his daily good deed!
At the same time, hearing Busujima's words, he laughed twice and struck a strange JoJo pose, his body covered in Araki shading lines as he pointed at her— "In short, you can't hurt anyone anymore! Ugly girl!"
"DON'T CALL ME UGLY!!!"
She had no energy left to mess around with this idiot. After screaming in collapse, Sakurako Busujima finally settled down. After a while, she spoke as if it were only natural: "Take me home!"
"Are you dreaming? I'm just a kindhearted passerby who came to save an innocent young man. I can't do something like helping a villain like you!"
"Is that so? Then tomorrow, when you see news about a beautiful young college girl dead in a field, please remember..."
With her eyes staring blankly at nothing, Sakurako Busujima threatened her in a light, deliberate tone: "Sooner or later, I will use my dying resentment to curse you to death!"
"You really are a bad woman, aren't you."
Using curses when you can't talk your way through? Miyazawa Yuu reaffirmed that saving the boy was a righteous cause, but leaving Busujima alone like this really would make his conscience explode...
"Sigh~ if you tell me your troubles to make me happy, I'll drop you off at home while I'm taking my friends back. How about it?"
"You... do you actually have a shred of humanity?"