Uchiha Makoto's expression shifted the moment he heard the word.
Tulips.
For a heartbeat, he froze, his mind flashing back to the Blue Star of his past life. Then a grin crept across his lips—half amusement, half disbelief.
Of all the scams in history, tulips? In the ninja world?
The tulip bubble was infamous, taught in every economics textbook, whispered in every lecture about human greed. A single flower once sold for the price of a mansion, fortunes made and lost overnight. And now… here, in the world of chakra and shinobi, nobles were repeating the same mistake.
Makoto clasped his hands together beneath his chin like a scheming villain in a kabuki play. His Sharingan gleamed with anticipation.
"Darkness," he said, voice sharp with excitement, "tell me everything you know about these tulips."
The armored crusader blinked, confused at his sudden enthusiasm, but nodded. "Yes, Lord Makoto."
Though she didn't understand his obsession, she dutifully recounted what she had heard from noble circles.
Tulips were exotic flowers brought from distant islands overseas. Their blossoms resembled crowns, tall and elegant, their stems as straight as spears, and their bulbs—when dried—looked almost like golden ingots. Nobles adored them.
They were difficult to cultivate. From seed to root required seven years, and from root to bloom another eight months. That rarity made them ideal for flaunting wealth.
The common people of the Land of Fire still struggled for daily meals, but the nobility? Their lives had long drifted beyond survival. Ordinary luxuries no longer satisfied. Gold jewelry, fine sake, even concubines—too common, too dull.
What they craved was uniqueness. Something that proved they were above their peers. Something they could parade before rivals while smirking.
Tulips fit the bill perfectly.
Makoto leaned back, listening, lips twitching into a smile. "Heh. Of course. Different world, same stupidity. The wealthy never change."
In every society, there were parasites at the top—whether daimyo, nobles, or feudal lords. Give them food, drink, and security, and they'd start inventing ways to burn their excess money. If tulips weren't available, they'd probably compete over who could buy the biggest chicken feather.
You have money. I need money. Seems like fate is smiling on me.
Makoto's thoughts burned with calculations. He had originally planned to build the economy slowly—small businesses, steady trade routes, long-term stability. But when fortune threw the world's most notorious bubble into his lap?
He'd be a fool not to seize it.
"Excellent," he said aloud, startling Darkness. "I now have an extremely reliable method of raising funds. Reliable… and profitable."
"Lord Makoto," Kazuma spoke up, narrowing his eyes. "Don't tell me you're thinking of dabbling in the tulip trade."
Makoto grinned. "Oh, I'm not dabbling, Kazuma. I'm diving headfirst. The timing isn't ripe yet, but it will be soon. We just need to accelerate the process."
"Accelerate?"
"Yes. Tulips must become the talk of every noble household. Not just in the Land of Fire—across the entire ninja world!" Makoto's voice rose with excitement. "The bigger the bubble, the greater the harvest."
Kazuma frowned, scratching his cheek. "Easier said than done. Tulips might be trendy among a few rich families, but spreading that craze everywhere? That's… not simple."
Makoto pointed dramatically. "Kazuma, think! You have brains. Use them. What do people love more than anything else? Stories. Gossip. A tale so sensational it spreads like wildfire."
Kazuma tilted his head. "…Stories?"
Makoto smirked. "Exactly. Let me tell you one. Its name is: The Daimyo's Daughter Buys Tulips with Gold."
He rose from his seat, pacing like a storyteller preparing for a performance.
---
The Tale Begins
"It is said," Makoto began, lowering his tone, "that the Daimyo of the Land of Fire greatly loved tulips. Yet ordinary yellow and white blossoms no longer pleased him. He longed for colors rare and exotic.
"For this, he spent fortunes, sending officials across the land to find such tulips. Yet after a year of searching, nothing."
Megumin leaned forward, eyes shining as if waiting for an epic explosion.
"One day," Makoto continued, "a minor official stepped forward. He swore to the Daimyo: 'Leave it to me. I shall find the rarest tulip in all the land.'"
"In less than a month, the official discovered a red-and-white variegated tulip—exquisite, rare, and already close to wilting. He paid three million ryō for it."
Aqua gasped. "Three million for a dying flower?! That's robbery!"
Makoto ignored her. "He presented it to the Daimyo. Furious, the Daimyo cried: 'Are you mocking me? Spending a fortune on a withered tulip?'"
"The official, calm and confident, replied: 'Your Highness, this tulip is not wasted. The world will soon know of your passion. They will see that even a fading blossom is worth millions if it pleases you. Nobles everywhere will rush to present their tulips to your court, proving loyalty and wealth. In time, your gardens will bloom with colors unseen.'"
Makoto spread his arms dramatically. "And just as he promised, within a month the Daimyo's palace overflowed with tulips from every corner of the land. Nobles competed, merchants scrambled, and the price of tulips soared beyond reason."
He ended with a flourish, letting silence hang.
---
The Lesson
The room sat stunned.
Even Kazuma, usually quick to scoff, was wide-eyed. Slowly, he muttered, "That… actually makes sense. A ridiculous kind of sense, but still."
Makoto chuckled. "Do you see? Influence flows from the top down. When the Daimyo spends gold, nobles scramble to imitate. And when nobles compete, merchants profit. All I need is to plant the right seed."
Kazuma tapped his chin, reluctant admiration creeping in. "You're basically weaponizing rich people's vanity. Huh. Evil… but effective."
Darkness, ever earnest, raised a hand. "If the Daimyo himself supports this plan, it would indeed spread quickly. Nobles cannot risk appearing less fashionable than their peers."
"Precisely." Makoto's grin widened. "And I have the Daimyo's ear. We're still in the honeymoon phase of our alliance. He'll indulge me. Especially if it means squeezing money from nobles he already despises."
Makoto's mind spun with schemes. The nobles of the Land of Fire were arrogant, selfish, and tax-evading parasites. The Daimyo hated them but tolerated their power. If Makoto framed the tulip craze as both fashionable and profitable, the Daimyo would happily help harvest their wealth.
After all, what ruler wouldn't enjoy watching his nobles squirm while their coffers emptied?
---
The Scam in Motion
Makoto slammed his palm on the table. "It's decided! We'll launch the tulip craze across the Land of Fire. Step one: create artificial scarcity. Step two: inflate prestige. Step three: let greed do the rest."
Aqua tilted her head. "Wait, isn't that… kind of evil?"
Makoto looked at her flatly. "Evil? Aqua, nobles feast while peasants starve. If I trick them into wasting money on flowers, is that evil—or divine justice?"
Aqua blinked. "…When you put it like that, it does sound kind of holy." She puffed out her chest proudly. "Very well! As a goddess, I approve this scam!"
Megumin leapt to her feet. "If tulips are to be symbols of power, then I shall craft the Explosion Tulip! A flower that blooms only once—and detonates magnificently!"
Makoto massaged his temples. "Please don't."
Darkness's eyes gleamed. "Lord Makoto, if you wish, I can persuade my father to host a grand banquet. If his daughter appears wearing tulips as ornaments, nobles will immediately copy the trend."
Makoto's grin turned sharklike. "Perfect. That will be our opening move. Darkness, prepare your father. Kazuma, draft pamphlets exaggerating tulip symbolism—prosperity, immortality, divine blessing, whatever sells. Aqua, bless every tulip we acquire and call it a sacred flower. Megumin… just stand there looking dramatic. Your job is free advertising."
He rose, cloak swirling like a villain revealing his master plan.
"Let the tulip bubble inflate. Let the nobles choke on their own vanity. And let the gold flow into our coffers!"