Sunday afternoon, the Loud House was unusually quiet. Rita jingled her car keys as she stood by the door with Lynn Sr., both looking way too excited for a "boring" errand.
"Now remember, Lincoln," Rita said, adjusting her purse strap, "you and Dante are in charge while we're gone."
Lincoln froze mid-slurp of his juice box. "Wait… what?"
"You heard your mom," Lynn Sr. said cheerfully. "Just a couple hours. How hard can it be?"
The door closed, and the house seemed to inhale. Eleven pairs of eyes slowly turned toward the boys.
"Uh," Dante said, scratching the back of his neck, "I don't like the way they're looking at us."
Lola stepped forward first, in full tiara and gown. "Finally. Someone worthy of being my royal babysitter. Dante, escort me to my tea party at once."
"Tea party?" Lana snorted, dragging in a box of frogs. "Forget that! Dante's helping me clean out the terrarium."
"Correction," Lisa interrupted, tugging at Dante's sleeve. "He's clearly better suited as my assistant for today's chemical experiment."
Lincoln groaned. "Here we go…"
The next two hours turned into a circus.
Lola forced Dante into wearing a plastic crown while she lectured him on etiquette. He actually played along, sipping imaginary tea and bowing dramatically until she squealed with delight.
Lana kept sneaking mud into the living room, insisting Dante was her "co-pilot" for a backyard worm race. His sneakers would never recover.
Lisa tried strapping a heart monitor to him, claiming she needed "athletic baseline data." Dante escaped only by bribing her with a juice box.
Lily went on a crayon rampage, covering Dante's arm in rainbow scribbles like it was a coloring book.
Meanwhile, Lincoln was trapped in his own chaos. Luan wouldn't stop rehearsing jokes on him, Lucy wanted him to read her poetry by candlelight, and Lynn Jr. kept challenging him to wrestling matches.
"Why… did our parents… trust us with this?" Lincoln groaned, buried under a pile of sisters.
"Because they're evil," Dante deadpanned, adjusting Lola's tiara still perched on his head.
By the time Rita and Lynn Sr. returned, the house looked like a battlefield:
Glitter on the couch.
Mud tracked across the carpet.
Candles burning dangerously low in Lucy's corner.
A rainbow crayon masterpiece covering Dante's arm.
Rita blinked in shock. "What… happened?"
Dante, exhausted but still smiling, handed Lily back to her. "Babysitting Louds, ma'am. That's what happened."
Lincoln groaned from under a pile of pillows. "Never again."
But Dante chuckled. "Nah, I think we survived."
And maybe — just maybe — the sisters liked him more now than they ever would've admitted out loud