["Receiving such a direct provocation has somewhat stirred up my competitive spirit." Black Swan smiled slightly.]
["Sis, please spare me. I really don't know anything about what she said—I already checked your brain." Sampo's tone softened as he repeatedly begged for mercy. "I was just helping a friend deliver a message—who knew it wasn't a message, but a declaration of war! They say envoys aren't killed in war. Please let me go. You two are playing too big; I really can't keep up…"]
[Black Swan nodded in satisfaction: "A very frightened expression. Don't worry. Since this has nothing to do with you, I won't make things difficult for you. Just accompany me for a walk."]
[With things having come to this, Sampo could only agree. The two learned from the Hound Family members that the victim was a company employee named Shamari. He was suddenly attacked on the street by a tall and strong man and smashed to death with a hammer. In addition, two Dreamjolt Troupe members were left at the scene, apparently stolen from elsewhere.]
[Black Swan asked the TV-headed one for information. That guy claimed to be the "constable," while the gorilla beside him was the constable's assistant handling the case.]
[As soon as the assistant saw Sampo, he spoke in a sarcastic tone: "Yo, Uncle Cold Legs, how did you betray us?"]
["It actually spoke! Miss Black Swan, they really are coming for you—"]
[The constable suddenly let out Sparkle's charming girlish voice: "Stop interrupting, who said you could speak? Cough cough…" She pinched her throat and switched to another tone. "We have heard that Lord Black Swan possesses extraordinary wisdom. Surely you can uncover the truth behind this [Murder of Lady Sparkle]!"]
[Black Swan narrowed her eyes: "[Murder of Lady Sparkle]? Isn't the victim Shamari from the Interastral Peace Corporation?"]
["You are mistaken, Lord Black Swan. The victim is clearly the head of the Gold Hammer Family, Lady Sparkle Gold Hammer!"]
——
Monogatari Series.
Araragi Koyomi sat cross-legged on the bed, watching the two Dreamjolt Troupe members on the Celestial Screen who were making Sparkle's voice. Calling this a serious detective reasoning… was practically a huge insult to "reasoning."
"This guy is basically just a prank-loving brat." Araragi Koyomi sighed. "Threatening the safety of random passersby across all of Penacony to forcibly drag this Memokeeper lady into her detective game."
Oshino Shinobu sat on the desk beside him, swinging her fair little legs, a faint smile on her lips: "But it's quite fun, isn't it?"
"Where's the fun? I even suspect this Sampo is actually Sparkle in disguise." Koyomi rubbed his temples. "Who knows what methods these Fools have. They might even be able to fool a Memokeeper. Last time she turned into Sampo. It's hard not to suspect this Sampo…"
"I have a feeling she's the type who likes to closely observe other people's reactions and subtle expressions. She probably prepared the Dreamjolt Troupe's lines long ago."
"Basis for this premonition?"
"…Well, many of the killers in the detective movies I've watched have this kind of twisted hobby." Koyomi glanced at the blonde girl. "Pretty reasonable, right?"
"Thou cannot apply the habits of those boring murderers to a Fool, because this is not a murder case at all… It's simply a prank aimed at Sampo and Black Swan."
Oshino Shinobu straightened her legs and lightly poked his shoulder: "Bring me the donut you just bought this morning. Pranks and sweets are a perfect match."
"…Everything is a perfect match with donuts. You just want to eat donuts, don't you? Can't you move by yourself?"
"Lazy."
——
["…Oh, it seems this is a little skit directed and acted by Miss Sparkle herself. It has nothing to do with the actual case."]
[The constable and assistant separately explained the full story of Lady Sparkle's murder to Black Swan. They said three brave warriors were attacked by mountain bandits from the Annihilation Gang. Almost all the escorted goods were lost. To avoid responsibility, all three had motives to kill Sparkle.]
["From this, it seems the three brave warriors joined forces to commit the crime?" Black Swan said casually.]
["Uh…"]
[The assistant was stunned. The constable was also dumbfounded.]
[Sampo immediately found it amusing: "…Case closed?"]
["No! There can only be one culprit! If all three are culprits, what kind of mystery is that… Wait… wait…"]
[The constable began desperately making things up, almost using all his strength.]
["Uh…" Sampo spread his hands. "If you can't make it add up, just forget it?"]
["Got it!" The constable finally came up with a last-minute setting of the three fighting over two hammers and forcibly added it, determined to make Black Swan reason out a single culprit.]
[The three were named Zoro, Zhong Shan, and Ayou. After the assistant quickly filled in their backgrounds for Black Swan, he urged the two to begin the investigation.]
[After investigating the huge wooden hammer at the scene, Sparkle suddenly appeared again, saying there were more pieces of evidence hidden elsewhere. The purpose was also to avoid disrupting the investigation and continue being a law-abiding citizen.]
["She's actually quite nice…" Sampo smiled helplessly and bitterly.]
[The two transformed into the Hanu brothers and entered the game console. Without much effort, they found a small device that looked like a button.]
["Don't press it! Lord Black Swan, absolutely do not press it!" The constable desperately tried to dissuade them. "This is the [Mutual Assured Destruction] button left by Lady Sparkle. Once pressed, Lady Sparkle will immediately perish together with all of Penacony!"]
["At the same time, Lady Sparkle also holds an identical button. Once she presses it, you will immediately perish together with all of Penacony!"]
[Black Swan: "This sounds… like there's no difference?"]
[Constable: "Indeed, there is no difference."]
["…Uh." Sampo wiped his sweat.]
["Oh…"]
[Seeing the two lacking interest, the constable immediately panicked: "Aren't you going to ask why?"]
[Black Swan took a deep breath and followed her question: "Then… why is that?"]
[The constable said solemnly, word by word: "Because she… is fair!"]
[Sampo finally couldn't hold it anymore: "There's something wrong with you!"]
——
Fate.
"Hahahahaha this Sparkle is way too fun!"
In the living room, Tohsaka Rin laughed so hard she bent over backwards. She clutched her stomach and curled up on the tatami, tears almost coming out from laughing: "The only one who can render her own Fool speechless is probably Sparkle herself, right? In front of her, Sampo seems so normal!"
"She really is someone who fears the world isn't chaotic enough."