Alex was watching Liam and Adelynn while James and Kiel were out. He was glad Kiel was able to leave the apartment again, and he had seen the lightness in Kiel's expression as he left to go meet Cassie. Alex was curious to meet another of his sisters, so he kept checking Kiel's location on his phone.
Adelynn poked her head over his arm. "Is Papa coming back soon?"
Alex shrugged. "He's still at the office."
Adelynn used her little fingers to zoom in further so they could see exactly where Kiel was in the building. Then she sighed. "I'm tired."
Oh, right. He was supposed to put Adelynn down for a nap twenty minutes ago. He got up, holding out his hand to her. "Let's go take a nap, okay?"
She grabbed his hand and pulled herself up.
Liam looked up from the multi-step algebraic equation on his whiteboard. "Can I come too?"
Adelynn smiled up at Alex with those precious blue eyes. "And can we take the nap in your room? So all of us fit on the bed?"
Alex blinked down at his two younger siblings. He knew they just wanted to be with him, but having people in his room… He bit his lip. These were kids. It would be totally fine. "Alright. Come on."
Liam scrambled up and followed Alex and Adelynn down the hall.
Alex opened the door to his room, not surprised when Adelynn jumped onto his neatly made bed with a little shriek of joy.
"It's so big!" She bounced a couple times until Alex sat down. Then she seemed to remember she was tired and pulled on his arm. "Nap now?"
Alex obligingly lay down, and Liam and Adelynn snuggled up on either side of him, Liam on his left and Adelynn on his right. He closed his eyes to set a good example, not really expecting to fall asleep. But the next thing he knew, he opened sleep-heavy eyes to see Kiel crouched beside the bed.
"Hi," Kiel whispered.
Alex noticed that Adelynn had somehow draped herself over his side and Liam had tucked his head under Alex's chin. "Hi," he whispered back. "Did you just get back?"
Kiel smiled, that sight comforting Alex. "About ten minutes ago. Don't worry about it. You probably needed the sleep."
Alex could not figure out how to extricate himself and laughed softly, his hand gently tracing Liam's spine as his brother's hair tickled his chin. "I think I'm stuck now."
Kiel also chuckled quietly, standing up and carefully peeling Adelynn off Alex.
Alex almost did not want to get up, but he inched his way out. Running his fingers through his hair, he asked, "Did you get Cassie?"
Kiel nodded. "She's in the school room. I think she's a little sad that none of you were awake when we arrived."
Alex glanced back at Liam and Adelynn and motioned to leave the room. "I don't want to wake them," he said once they were out in the hall, "but I can go meet Cassie if you think it'll be okay."
A slight frown creased Kiel's lips. "Of course it'll be okay. Cassie's family was like Adelynn's. They treated her well and just thought she should be with me instead of them."
Alex nodded. That was what he had been scared of, since all of Kiel's children's fathers were complete and absolute assholes. "That's good."
"I'm sure she'll be happy to meet you," Kiel assured him as they walked down the hall to the school room. "She's definitely an extrovert and a huge people person."
Alex knocked on the open door of the school room to alert his new sister to his presence.
Cassie was probably about nine, and she was gorgeous. Her smile when she saw Alex was stunning, a flash of bright white that contrasted sharply with her ebony skin. Her curly black hair had so much volume, and someone had clearly put a lot of time and care into it. "Hi!" She stuck out her hand in a strangely mature gesture. "You're one of my brothers, right?"
Alex shook her hand, guessing that rejecting her gesture would upset her. "Yeah," he replied. "I'm Alex."
Cassie nodded. "I'm Cassie. Though you probably already knew that." Her gaze raked over Alex's face. "Wow, we look suuuuuuper different. That's kinda nuts."
Alex had to smile. He was used to it after Adelynn's first few weeks, when she would hold up her arm to his and silently stare at the shade difference for minutes on end.
"Different parents will do that," Alex said. "Ethnicities and all that."
Cassie tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "Yup. All that."
Alex already liked her, glad that he could add her to the "liked siblings" list. There were only two names on his "unliked siblings" list, and he really did not want to add more names to that list. "So, what do you like to do?"
"I like photography," she replied without hesitation. "Taking pictures of people that make them look beautiful. I have a camera." She pointed to a small bag sitting against the wall near the whiteboard. "Papa said I could put it there until they got my room ready."
Alex nodded. He wanted her to feel safe to leave her things wherever she wanted without having to worry about other people taking them, which was something that seemed to be on her mind.
"The other kids won't touch it?" Sweet girl, she sounded so worried.
Alex shook his head. "Liam won't, as long as you don't touch anything of his without permission. Adelynn is three, so…"
Cassie giggled. "Yeah, I won't blame her. But I'd like it better if she doesn't know about it at all."
"She's napping right now, and she probably won't wake up until after Kiel and James finish setting up your room."
Cassie cocked her head. "You call Papa the same thing Jimin does." She did not ask why, but he could hear the question in her tone.
"He's more like my friend than my dad because I didn't know him for thirteen years," Alex told her. "He told me I could call him by his name." After a moment, he asked, "Why do you call James Jimin?"
Cassie shrugged, her shoulders lifting her mountain of curls. "I think he likes it better than James. It's his real name, so it makes sense."
Oh. Did he not like it when Alex called him James? Was he just really good at hiding his distaste for the name because he was used to concealing his personal thoughts as a senator? Should he talk to James—Jimin—about it? Would he be offended that Alex was confused? Frustrated that Alex had not figured it out sooner?
Cassie grabbed her camera bag, unzipped it, and pulled the camera out. She unclipped the lens cover and turned it on, then smiled hesitantly at Alex. "Can I take a picture of you? Just right there like you are?"
Alex blinked at her. "Me? Why?"
Cassie blinked right back at him. "Why? Cause you're so fucking pretty." She slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry," she whispered through her fingers. "Bad word."
Alex could not hold himself back from laughing. That was cute. "Well, thanks. And sure, you can take a picture of me."
Cassie hung her camera around her neck and pulled the hair tie from Alex's hair, her hands gently pulling strands out to frame his face before stepping back and crouching down to snap pictures from various angles. She came back to his side and scrolled through the pictures, looking up at him with the sweetest smile every time she clicked to another picture. She was definitely talented, especially since she somehow made Alex look like, as she said with her hand over her mouth, "a fucking supermodel."
Alex saw Kiel watching them out of the corner of his eye with a little smile. His heart melted a little every time he got to see a relaxed Kiel, and he wanted to learn every small thing that made Kiel happy so that he could make Kiel happy all the time. After the miscarriage, Alex had been forced to watch from a distance as Kiel unraveled, and he never wanted to see Kiel so miserable ever again.
Cassie sprang to her feet and held out the camera to Kiel. "Look!" She scrolled through the pictures again, her smile just as big for Kiel as it had been for Alex.
Kiel bent to observe the pictures and nodded as Cassie clicked to each one. "They're very good," he praised her. "You've got a real talent. Do you want to try taking classes at some point?"
Cassie nodded without hesitation. "I'd love to! I've already taken some, but I'd really like to do more advanced ones!"
Kiel rested his hand on her curly head. "Then we'll figure out a way for that to happen. Maybe some of my friends know photographers in the area who teach lessons."
Cassie latched her arms around Kiel's waist and squeezed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Kiel kissed her head and glanced up at Alex with a smile that leaned into sly territory. "What about you, Alex? You want modeling lessons while I'm at it?"
Alex knew Kiel was teasing him, but it was not the first time someone had looked at him and suggested modeling. "Maybe," he replied, getting a bit of satisfaction out of watching Kiel's jaw drop. "If it's not too much trouble," he quickly added. It interested him, but he did not want to be a burden, not when Kiel was just starting to feel better and especially not now that Cassie was here too. He was the oldest. He had to be selfless if necessary so his younger siblings could get everything they wanted and needed.
Kiel's face furrowed, and Alex's heart dropped. As Cassie let go of him, Kiel approached Alex, carefully sitting down next to him on the floor. "Alex," he began softly, "you are never too much trouble. The things you want are never too much trouble. You can say what you want. I'm never going to get mad." He exhaled like he was scared. "I understand if you don't feel safe enough to tell me everything, but I want to earn the right to hear the truth from you. Do you think we can start with you telling me how you actually feel about…modeling?"
Alex scraped his hair off his face and tied it back. "I don't know. A lot of people have mentioned it to me. There was even a guy who wanted to cast me in a movie a few years back." He shrugged. "I asked if I could and, well, let's just say that I was violently denied."
Kiel's eyes saddened. "You know I'd never do that to you, right?"
Alex nodded. "Of course you wouldn't. You're kind and compassionate and so amazing. I know you love me too much to ever hurt me."
Kiel hesitantly put his arm around Alex and squeezed gently. He was always so tentative about initiating physical affection, with Alex especially. It was probably out of respect for his kids' boundaries and likely stemmed from the trauma of his own boundaries being violated over and over again for thirteen years. "I love you so much," he said, pressing a nervous kiss to the top of Alex's head. "If you ever want or need something, please don't hesitate to tell me, okay? I want to know."
Alex nodded, hugging Kiel back so his dad would not feel as awkward. "Okay," he replied. "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
Kiel nodded into Alex's shoulder. "Of course. Come talk to me whenever you're ready." He gave Alex a parting squeeze and stood up again. "We got your room all set up," he told Cassie. "Do you want to get your stuff and organize everything?"
Cassie grinned and scurried off.
Kiel turned back to Alex and offered him a hand up.
Alex took it and soon found himself on his feet next to Kiel. He was finding his dad's presence more and more comforting as the days and weeks went by, and he had begun to refer to Kiel by both his name and as his dad in his head. Kiel felt like a dad to him, nothing like that sorry excuse for a father Alex had had in the past. But Alex had called him Kiel for almost half a year now. It would be weird if Alex suddenly called him Dad. Really weird. Maybe he really did need to sit down with Kiel and James and have a talk about names because he had no idea what they wanted or expected from him.
Kiel looked like he was picking up on Alex's unease, but Cassie came back before he could say anything, two suitcases in tow. He smiled once more at Alex and left to help Cassie move in.
Alex wished he was younger, since all his younger siblings seemed to have figured out the perfect relationship with their parents. Why did he feel like the only one who was stuck in limbo with no place else to go?