Dr. Carl Evans to head new study exploring ties between psychopathy and childhood trauma.
Darius Holt and Rowan Ellis have agreed to a public interview tomorrow at 3!
"Do you want me?"
"I…" How was Noah supposed to respond to that question? Yes, he wanted Camille. He wanted to adore him, worship him, hold him like he was sacred. But no, he did not want Camille. He did not want to hurt him, violate him, confirm all his worst fears about his worth. Noah carefully took both of Camille's hands. "Camille, that isn't how this works."
Camille tipped his head slightly to the left. "Isn't it?" God, with the early afternoon light bathing his face he looked like he could be made of stained glass.
"No," Noah replied, making sure to pronounce the word firmly. "That comes after trust has been built and only when both partners consent without any fear of the other valuing them less if they were to say no instead."
Camille blinked slowly, his golden eyelashes tangling with each closing of his eyelids. "How can I be valued less?"
Noah had to close his eyes. Camille sounded so innocent, but his words were heartbreaking. He swallowed hard before opening his eyes again. "You're a human being, Camille. That makes you just as valuable as everyone else on this planet."
Camille crossed his legs at the ankle, never taking his eyes off of Noah. "If I believe you, what will you do then?"
Noah had never liked "hypothetical" situations because, in his experience, they were never hypothetical. He did not like hypotheticals any better coming out of Camille's mouth, and he said as much. "I don't deal in hypotheticals. Once I see that you believe me, then we can talk again."
Camille still did not move. His legs were still crossed, and his hands were still resting in Noah's. He was like a living statue. "Talk about what?" Did he really want Noah to just say it?
"Talk about me wanting you or you wanting me or whatever's going on."
"Do you want me?"
Noah wanted to swear but bit his tongue to stop the curse that came to mind. "Camille–"
"No," Camille cut him off. "I want to know. You don't have to do anything. Just say it."
The silence stretched between them for several long moments, and it was strung so tightly that it was almost physically painful not to answer.
But Noah gave in. How could he not give in to the angel of his life? "I do," he replied hoarsely, his voice catching in a strange place as it worked its way up his throat.
Camille did not look away from his eyes. It felt like he was staring straight down into Noah's soul. "So you'll watch me to see if I really believe you, and I'll watch you to see if you really want me." His lips curved in the faintest of smiles. "If I'm as worth it as you say, it'll be obvious, won't it?" He uncrossed his legs and stood up, his hands slipping from between Noah's fingers. Turning toward the open door, he glanced over his shoulder at Noah still sitting on the bed before walking out like he owned the house instead of Noah.
After a moment with only his sheets for company, Noah got up and cautiously made his way downstairs, half-scared that Camille had planted landmines of the emotional sort.
But Camille was just laying on the couch, wrapped up in the weighted blanket and insulated by his headphones. There were no traps. He had simply gone back to living life as usual, like their conversation upstairs had never even happened. His eyes were closed, and he seemed to be trying to take a nap. It was not unusual for him, but after the emotional turmoil of that conversation it was surprising.
Noah downed a glass of water, leaning on the island and watching Camille from a distance. He set the glass down when a knock came on the door and went to answer the front door. When he saw it was Darius and Rowan, he quickly opened the door and welcomed them inside. "Hey, what's up?"
Rowan, who had Aiden on his hip, offered a tense smile that told the story of a stressful morning and probably a mostly sleepless night. It took a lot to get Rowan to look stressed. "We have that interview today, and you said you'd watch your godson, remember?"
Noah smiled and held out his arms for Aiden immediately. "Of course!" He booped noses with Aiden, making the baby giggle. "I'm always happy to be the godfather on duty!"
Rowan's expression relaxed slightly. "Thank you, Noah," he said softly. "I don't tell you enough how amazing you are."
Noah made a face at Aiden, determined to keep the baby entertained and quiet so Rowan would have less of a hard time leaving. "It's okay."
"Yeah," Darius put in. "His ego's already high enough as it is. It doesn't require any unnecessary boosting." When Rowan gave him a look, he practically withered. The tension between Darius and his fiancé was weird, but at least Noah knew the reason behind it instead of being left out of the loop. Rowan had told him about the unplanned pregnancy first, after all. And at least Darius was trying his best to be sensitive to Rowan's moods.
Noah spared a momentary glare for Darius and then returned his attention to Aiden.
"I'm gonna grab some water," Darius said after an awkward silence and headed into the kitchen.
Noah and Rowan followed in time to see Darius and Camille locked in the most intense stare-down of all time. Noah felt bad about it, but he shoved Aiden back into Rowan's arms and quickly got between Camille and Darius. He did not know how Camille would react to another alpha's presence, but he knew enough about Camille's bipolarity to know that it could get ugly in the blink of an eye. When Camille's eyes found him, he could see that the omega was moments away from a murderous spell. "Hey," he said softly, making sure to keep his voice down.
Camille could hear him since he had pulled off the headphones sometime before Noah had come in, but he was not acting like it. His eyes were almost unfocused with rage.
"It's okay," Noah continued. "It's just Darius. You know him. He's not going to hurt you. He's not a threat." He slowly approached Camille, lowering his body with each step he took to keep himself low on the danger list. He motioned with one hand behind his back for Darius and Rowan to back up and get out of Camille's sight. "It's okay. You're not in danger. You're fine." He got close enough to the couch that he could finally see the tiny tremors that were running through Camille's body. Despite his urge to comfort Camille, he knew that touching Camille when he was in this state was one sure way to guarantee an explosion that Noah had no resources to contain. He did not want Camille trying to kill Darius because there was a good chance the omega might just succeed. Noah did not understand where the speed, agility, and strength came from; he and Dr. Evans were still puzzling that one out.
But Camille was watching Noah instead of Darius, so that was better than it had been a minute ago.
Noah carefully picked up Camille's headphones and held them out to him. "It's okay. You can go back to listening to music. I promise that I won't let anything bad happen, okay?"
Camille stared at Noah and then at the headphones for a minute. Then he took the headphones like they were a grenade and put them on with the same amount of caution. After a few moments, he sat back against the pillow, which was always a sign that he was starting to unwind.
Noah stayed seated in front of Camille. He knew if he moved too soon that it would spook Camille, and he did not need a spooked Camille on his hands. Only when Camille's eyes closed did Noah slowly rise to his feet. Looking over his shoulder, he was relieved to see that Darius and Rowan had listened to him and retreated into the foyer. He quietly went to explain things to them because he knew they would demand an explanation.
Rowan was the first to speak, eyes wide. "Camille's staying with you?"
Noah tried for a smile, but he could tell it came out flat. "Yeah. He has some stuff going on and there wasn't really a better place for him to stay."
Rowan's eyes narrowed. "I know you guys knew each other from back when Darius was in the hospital, but I didn't think you were this close." A small smirk came to his face as an idea obviously came to mind. "Are you guys together?"
Noah did his best to keep his panic internal. "No…it's more of a situationship, I guess?"
Rowan raised an eyebrow in a way that somehow seemed quite threatening. "I swear–"
"It's mutual," Noah quickly interrupted. "We just had a conversation about it like thirty minutes ago."
"And what was going on with him?" Darius questioned, eyebrows drawn down. "He looked like he was about to rip my face off."
"He might have if I hadn't been there." Noah glanced toward the living room. "He's always a bit…on edge. If he feels threatened, he'll get really aggressive. It's likely that he would have attacked you. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."
Rowan looked like he was trying to put together a puzzle that was missing half the pieces. "But Camille isn't like that," he said slowly. "Sure, he's a little volatile sometimes, but there's always a good reason behind it."
Noah sighed. "It's not just personality, Rowan. It's psychological."
Rowan blinked a few times and then understanding dawned in his eyes. He, after all, had spent a month living with Camille, so he was probably putting some pieces together. "Give me a name, Noah."
"It's kind of against the law–"
"He's my friend!" Rowan snapped. "Tell me what's going on!"
At Darius' pleading look, Noah caved. "He's bipolar. He's on medication now, but it's not always enough to suppress whatever triggers his brain to go into aggressive mode. When he gets spooked, he's likely to attack either the person he sees as a threat or the weakest link in a multi-person threat. I've seen him do it. I didn't want either of you to get hurt."
Darius nodded, seeming to understand, but Rowan did not look placated. Darius' fiancé stared Noah right in the eyes and said in a voice too calm for his expression, "We need to go. We'll talk more about this later. You'd better answer the phone when I call you, or Camille is going to hear from me." He handed Aiden to Noah, turned on his heel, and left the house, Darius trailing after him with an apologetic look.
Noah braced Aiden against his side and looked down into the sweet blue eyes. "We can spend our time today praying for your dad's health."
Aiden giggled as if to agree that Darius was going to need all the prayers he could get.