Su—Aiya and I were walking side-by-side to the club area, though something was weird.
Aiya was quiet and she moved closer every second, she got so close that I could smell her perfume—it had a smell like that of a raspberry.
It's a different brew.
She also seemed shy about something though, but I didn't say anything because it could have been my imagination.
She remained like that until—
"Nakamura," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Do you uh, well, uh wanna hold, ummm hands?" she asked, her tone still being gentle and small.
"Huh?"
"Well, you know since we're dating, we should hold hands, shouldn't we?"
Physical contact like holding hands was quite common among couples—well, not newly formed couples, but it was certainly not out of the ordinary for them though.
And Aiya had already hugged my arm yesterday though it was because she could only do such things when people were around–she unfortunately didn't have the confidence when it was only the two of us that were around.
Aiya looked shyly at me, quietly observing what I would say or do, however, I was unsure of what to do.
No one has ever held my hands in my life—unless it was training, and this is definitely not training.
What should I do? Should I hold her hands? Should I not? Well, I have to do something, and she implied that it's alright.
I tried to hold them yesterday because there was no pressure but now she actively told me to hold her hands so had no choice but to hold them, and that made me nervous.
I was a bit nervous but I went for it and suddenly grabbed her hand.
She still seemed shocked even though she said I should because she made a small noise as I grabbed it.
"Emp," she exclaimed cutely.
Holding her hand felt amazing; her hand was fundamentally different from mine—both in size and texture.
It felt so good that I considered holding it for as long as I lived.
Her hands are so small and soft—they feel like marshmallows.
It really felt amazing—though my hand was sweaty as this was my first time holding a girl's hand.
Shit, my hands are really sweaty, I hope she doesn't notice it. At any rate, I don't think she will—because if she hadn't already then, she probably won't notice.
Looks like I'm going scot-free.
"Nakamura."
"Yeah?"
"Could you let go? You're holding my hand too tight, and your hand is kinda sweaty."
…And this is why you don't count your chickens before they hatch.
"Oh, uh sorry."
I let go and we continued walking to the club area—it was so awkward that none of us even uttered a word.
Damn, I blew it. My hand was sweaty, and I held hers too hard—now what do I do?
Do I say sorry? Or do I just keep quiet?
I guess I'll choose the latter.
Let's just say it was a long walk to the club room, and luckily when we arrived today, Matsumoto wasn't changing.
We went to sit—and Aiya sat beside me. However, we still kept quiet till everyone came in.
While the silence was deafening for me, Aiya and Matsumoto were on their phones.
I expected Matsumoto to at least talk to me, but she didn't even look at me—maybe it was because I didn't come yesterday.
Matsumoto didn't also talk to Aiya—It was also a shock that they didn't but maybe they were just not feeling up for it.
Or maybe Matsumoto was angry at me and Aiya, and Aiya coincidently wanted stress relief or silent solace—especially after holding my sweaty hand.
Either way I didn't know so I joined in by also using my phone, and used my phone to watch videos on Battleground 3—Well, at least until everyone came in.
"Heyo!" Yoshida greeted no one in particular.
Everyone sat around, settling down with their friends. When everyone settled down Matsumoto came up to the podium.
"Hello everyone, thanks for coming again today. I have good news, yesterday I registered our club, and we're pending. Today we're doing applications," she said.
"Really?"
"That's amazing, Yuno-chan."
"Thanks," Matsumoto said. "However, we need footage of us actually doing calligraphy. Let's continue from where we started yesterday. Please everyone try as much as possible, think of this as a pitch. Thank you for your help."
"Yeah, no biggie."
"Yup, you can count on us."
Everyone was happy to help and went to get their materials for everyone around and it was shared accordingly.
"Ok everyone, let's begin."
Everyone began to write, while I and Aiya just watched until Matsumoto came over.
"Explain yourselves," she glared.
So she was angry.
"I'm sure you've already heard but we wwnt on a date yesterday," Aiya replied.
"So you couldn't go on Saturday?"
"We started dating; it was our first date yesterday," Aiya replied.
"Woah," Matsumoto was surprised but her anger was more than her shock. "Then why didn't you call or text?"
"We're sorry," Aiya said.
She isn't cutting Aiya off, like she did for me yesterday. Why is that? Is this pretty privilege?
"—right Nakamura?"
Huh? I wasn't paying attention, well, if I say 'yeah' then I should be fine.
"Yeah."
"Ok, I accept your apology but please don't fail to come next time or at least send a text because now I have to teach you guys specially," Matsumoto sighed, though she didn't seem angry or exasperated—maybe it was because she really enjoyed calligraphy.
Nice save, me.
Matsumoto knelt in between me and Aiya, setting a black mat—which I came to know was a felt mat—on a table.
"If you're going to do calligraphy, you have to respect the process. It starts with the tools," she laid them out carefully, one by one.
"This is the fude, the brush. Never let the bristles get crushed. It's not like a pen—you don't press down hard. You guide it," she handed it over to us, and it felt surprisingly light.
"This is suzuri, the ink stone. Add a few drops of water here…" she tapped the flat part with a small porcelain dropper, then picked up the ink stone.
"And this is sumi. You grind it in slow circles like this," she demonstrated, the stick rasping gently on the stone. A small pool of black liquid formed in the well. "It smells good, right? It's calming. You're supposed to do this slowly to clear your mind," she grinned.
It seems she really loves this.
I watched her movements carefully—they were smooth, practiced, almost meditative and therapeutic.
"Now, the paper is called hanshi. It's thin, so we use a shitajiki, this felt pad underneath to stop the ink from bleeding through. And we hold it down with bunchin—paperweights."
She slid a sheet into place and turned the brush upright in her hand.
"Hold it straight between your thumb and first two fingers. Not like a pencil. Elbow up a little. The motion comes from here—" she touched her shoulder. "not just your wrist."
Matsumoto dipped the tip of the brush into the ink and twisted slightly as she lifted it out.
"Now watch. Every stroke has an order. A direction. A purpose. You don't fix mistakes. You breathe, and you move forward. Like this."
With a steady hand, she drew the first stroke for the character for kokoro—heart.
The ink spread slightly, blooming into fibers of the paper. Stroke by stroke, the character came to life. Fluid, bold, alive.
"It's not about being perfect," she said, settling down the brush. "It's about being honest. Calligraphy is like looking in a mirror. What you write will show exactly how you're feeling inside. Calm? Rushed? Focused? Angry? It all shows."
She passed a brush to me and Aiya.
"Now you two should try. Breath. Feel the paper. And write from your center."
We both got to work—following what we heard and doing what we saw.
We both tried to re-create the same stroke pattern that Matsumoto had done—writing the same word in fact—kokoro.
"I'm done," Aiya said, finishing before me.
"Wow, you're a natural. It seems you assimilate quickly, it's amazing," Matsumoto said looking at her work.
"Thanks, I tried to make it as good as possible."
"Yeah, it's amazing."
"I'm done," I said.
I looked at my work with disdain—it was underwhelming, frankly the mistakes were so jarring that I could barely look at it.
"Nakamura," Matsumoto said.
"Yeah?"
It seems she's seen my mistakes.
"Is this really your first time doing calligraphy?"
"Yeah."
What kind of round-about insult is that?
"You gotta be lying, this looks magnificent. Aiya-chan's was good but yours is a whole 'nother level."
Huh? Can't she see the mistakes? I suppose not.
"Can I redo it?"
"Why? It's already—"
"But it's not as good as yours," I cut her off.
"I've done this for years there's no way you'll—"
"Give me another chance."
"O-Ok."
Aiya stared at me with an unreadable expression, but I couldn't care less, all I could care about was doing it better than I did before.
I had to do it; it was the most important thing to me at that moment.
After I was given another paper, I fixed all my previous mistakes—shaky hands, shallow strokes, and anything that hindered my work.
When I was done, I still noticed some mistakes, however, the mistakes were the same mistakes Matsumoto made.
It meant that I had perfectly copied Matsumoto's work, therefore these were unavoidable mistakes—with my goal achieved I let out a sigh of relief.
"You're really hardcore when it comes to calligraphy too, huh?" Matsumoto grinned. "That being said, you managed to do it as good as me, you're a real literary genius."
"That's my Eiya for you," Aiya said.
It was then that I realized I had made a grave mistake, I arbitrarily followed his teachings.
I forgot where I was.
"Huh? It was just a fluke."
And a fluke it was and a fluke it became—I didn't re-create anything of that quality after that.
After a while, we finished for the day and then I and Aiya headed out of the clubroom together.
We walked side by side just like when we came to the clubroom. We were both quiet—while there was noise all around.
I looked at her and she looked at me; she wanted me to do something about the awkward silence.
I didn't know what to do exactly but I knew this all started when I held her hands but what could I do about that?
Talk about it? Mention it? Say sorry?
I didn't believe that would work so I tried the next best thing—
I stopped walking then she turned back to look at me, then I began to speak.
"Aiya," I said.
"Yeah?" She looked directly at me.
"Hey, do you wanna hold hands again?" I asked.
If I can't say anything that can help or even apologise then I'll do something even better—
Erase the bad memory all together, with such a good memory that the bad memory is unimportant.
"Uh, sure," she grinned.
I held her hands more delicately than the first time and we walked out of school.
While bad memories stick better than good memories, a memory that has an adrenaline spike is sure to stick even better.
However, I can't really know if holding my hands is amazing enough to get an adrenaline spike.
"Hey, Aiya," I said.
"Yeah, what?"
"So, quick question. Do you like holding hands?"
"Huh? Uh um, uh why'd you ask that?"
"If you don't then we could just stop."
"…Idiot."
"Huh?"
"If I didn't like it I would tell you, wouldn't I? I like it so much I don't want to stop, your hands feel…" she got embarrassed and stopped talking.
"Me too, I love holding hands."
"Yeah."
It was that day that I realized that I love holding hands, also, we went on a date shortly after.
***
Author's Note:
That calligraphy scene is…Eiya said he has never done calligraphy before but he perfectly re-created what Matsumoto did.
That's well…It sounds unimpressive till you actually try calligraphy.
Also our resident couple is doing super well–better than my lonely ass could😭.
Especially since my comment section is a desert but don't worry I will push on till I get 1 fan.
Anyway, remember to comment, share, and leave a review. Thanks for reading the chapter and see you in the next one.
[Edit: I apologise for not posting yesterday.]