The chicken clucked in the distance, still strutting proudly as if it had won the battle.
Li Ming sat cross-legged in Elder Chen's hut, staring at the old man nervously. In front of him lay a thin, yellowed book. On the cover, written in big bold characters, were the words:
"Beginner's Guide to Cultivation: For Idiots and Chickens."
"…Is this really the cultivation manual?" Li Ming asked, his eyebrow twitching.
Elder Chen coughed loudly, pretending not to hear. "Ahem! Listen carefully, boy. Since you split that rock, you have awakened spiritual strength. From today, you must learn the levels of cultivation!"
Li Ming straightened his back. Finally, the good part!
Elder Chen stroked his long beard and began, his voice solemn:
"There are nine great realms of cultivation, each higher than the last. Many walk this path, but none… none have ever reached the very peak."
The room grew quiet. Even the chicken outside stopped clucking, as if listening.
"The realms are as follows," Elder Chen continued.
1. Body Tempering – The first step. Strengthen your body so you don't get beaten by chickens.
2. Qi Gathering – Absorb spiritual energy and stop being useless.
3. Foundation Building – Stabilize your strength. Many fail here because their 'foundation' is about as strong as wet noodles.
4. Core Formation – Form a golden core in your dantian. It's shiny. Don't lose it.
5. Nascent Soul – Your soul leaves your body. Scares the neighbors.
6. Spirit Severing – Cut off your mortal ties. Usually means breaking up with your girlfriend.
7. Dao Comprehension – Understand the laws of the universe. Or at least pretend you do.
8. Immortal Ascension – Become an immortal. Drink wine on clouds. Very classy.
9. Heavenly Emperor – The final level. Ruler of all under heaven. But… no one has ever reached this realm."
Elder Chen's eyes grew distant, his tone heavy. "Legends say even the greatest geniuses of the past stopped at Immortal Ascension. The heavens themselves forbid anyone from becoming the Heavenly Emperor."
Li Ming's eyes shone. "So… if I become the Heavenly Emperor, I'll be the first in history?"
"Yes," Elder Chen said. "But don't even think about it! You should focus on not losing to chickens first."
Li Ming clenched his fists. His blood boiled with excitement. The first in history? The ruler of everything? That's obviously me!
"Alright!" Li Ming jumped to his feet. "Tell me, how do I start Body Tempering?"
Elder Chen handed him the manual. "Read this. It will teach you how to strengthen your body using breathing techniques."
Li Ming eagerly opened the first page.
The text read:
Step 1: Breathe in.
Step 2: Breathe out.
Repeat until stronger.
Li Ming's mouth twitched. "…Are you kidding me?"
"No," Elder Chen said seriously. "Master this, and you'll be able to lift cows."
Li Ming looked at the chicken outside the hut, still pecking the ground smugly. His fists tightened.
"Fine! Chicken, enjoy your freedom while you can. I'll come back for you after I master breathing!"
The chicken clucked mockingly, as if accepting his challenge.
And so, Li Ming's training began. While other geniuses in legends fought dragons, crushed mountains, and controlled lightning, Li Ming sat in his hut, angrily inhaling and exhaling like a wheezing old man.
But deep in his heart, he knew—this was the very first step on the road to becoming the Heavenly Emperor.
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