It was impossible!
It was impossible! Simply impossible! Wrong! Unrealistic! Impossible! How?! From where?! Why? How could this be? I studied at the most modern academy, had access to the latest discoveries, the best teachers in the most progressive country! I was the best at everything! I strived for perfection in everything! Why does he know so much? Why is he so educated?! It's impossible! Why can't I solve his problems? His examples? Answer his questions? Where did he get such knowledge?
From where? From where? From where?
—From where?— I hear my voice. Must have been thrown off balance, I involuntarily voiced my thoughts aloud.
«What is it? Are you so shocked by my knowledge in various sciences that you've lost the ability to speak? Or can you simply not solve such simple problems? It's so easy!» — Hearing the demon's answer, I glance at the written parchment again. I reach out my hands, and see them trembling. He has driven me to this state again, no, this time it's much worse.
What a disgusting feeling. To realize that someone is an order of magnitude better than me in many things where I previously believed I had no equal.
Disgusting…
—Why? Why can't I cope with this?— my trembling whisper escapes my lips.
No matter how much I looked at the problems and examples written by the spirit, I couldn't even imagine how they could be solved. It drove me mad like never before. It became difficult to control my emotions. I wanted to curse everything and everyone, but I held back. Despite the oil being poured on the fire. The spirit loved to ask questions that I simply couldn't answer. Because no one knew the answers!
«Oh, I see it's a big blow for you, huh?» — Surprise. What is he surprised about? How irritating, infuriating, infuriating! Infuriating!
—Why? From where? Where did you get this knowledge? You're not an ordinary spirit! Answer! Right now!— raising my voice slightly, I say to the demon. I can no longer stand his condescending tone and his sarcastic remarks and criticism.
«I've told you more than once, to answer some questions, you'll need my forgiveness, or in this case, trust,» — the demon's next answer only added fuel to my anger.
—You… You can't! You simply can't use that as an excuse! I… I… — it's hard to speak, I'm suffocating, I need to breathe.
—Why are you like this? You're not a spirit, no, you're a demon! Spirits can't know so many things! So many modern things! Many discoveries were made by scientists from my country! The best country! The most progressive and the most powerful! Some spirit can't know more than me, the heir to all of this! And certainly can't possess more advanced knowledge!— as I finished speaking, I slammed my fist on the table.
«Azula, calm down. You're too loud.»
—R-r-r-r-r, — my growling breath was accompanied by a small puff of fire, but I didn't care at the moment. The parasite dares to command me?!
—I don't care about the volume, who are you to know all this!— I hiss back at him, trembling with helplessness and anger.
«Calm down.»
—Me, calm down? Me?!— I raise my voice again, how dare he command…
«Slap!» — I feel a pain on my right cheek, what… he slapped me? The list of reasons for the demon's torturous death has grown by one item. I will definitely remember this, you parasite!
«Feeling better?» — his calm tone, I hate it! I hate it with all my heart!
—R-r-r-r-r-r… — the impudent one is using his safety and remains unpunished. For the umpteenth time! I'll destroy you! I'll crush you! You will suffer!
«Stop growling, the guard is already scared by your behavior,» — what?
A guard? That's all I needed! I quickly and silently stood up, walked to the door, looked through the small window. Indeed, a patrolman. He's acting suspiciously, slowly moving away and quietly leaving. Peeking through the window for a moment, I stepped back, leaning against the wall, and realized.
He heard…
«Don't be angry with me. A guard was patrolling outside the door, I had to resort to extreme measures. He probably heard something from our conversation, most likely it was the growling,» — the demon is right, I need to calm down instead of getting furious at his calm tone.
Inhale-exhale-flame. Inhale-exhale-flame. Inhale-exhale-flame…
Using breathing techniques, I calmed the raging storm of emotions. Taking control of my emotions. I needed to do this as soon as possible before I made any more foolish mistakes.
—I want to sleep, enough competitions for today,— I didn't want anything else, just to sleep. This day literally drained all my strength. I would never have thought that handing over control of my hands to a parasite could end like this.
It's better to leave everything for tomorrow. I lost too much time trying to solve the spirit's problems. It's probably dark night now. Too many discoveries for one day, the spirit told me too much, and it's hard to even imagine how much he concealed. Most of it hit me too hard.
«What was that outburst?» — his voice, how irritating it is. An annoying parasite, not a moment of peace.
—I don't want to talk about it.
«Won't you even thank me? I did take care of your reputation by stopping the outburst. And I'm very interested in its reasons. It was very unlike you.»
I get rid of my clothes and armor. I lie down on the bed. With a snap of my fingers, I extinguish the candles and lamps. I cover myself with a blanket, hiding under it. I don't want to think about anything, or talk to anyone. I haven't felt so empty, so miserable for a long time…
«Azula,» — the demon insists…
—You're right. You stopped me when I gave in to my emotions and could have harmed my reputation. Thank you,— I calmly answer the demon.
Regaining control of my emotions, my mind continued to ponder the information received, but now I didn't want to do anything, just think and analyze. And the gratitude expressed was cold calculation with a large stake for the future. I need to follow the plan, he must trust me.
«You're always welcome. But what was that outburst? Were my knowledge so upsetting to you?» — if only I knew the reasons for my behavior myself… I need more control. Emotions should not cloud reason, it's all your fault, demon.
—My answer hasn't changed, spirit.
«Ah, so trust won't arise between us,» — he answered with disappointment.
—Trust? That's foolishness.
«It's what unites people into groups, families, tribes, countries, superpowers, and so on. Everything is built on trust.»
—Foolish lie. How, with such knowledge, do you think like this? Fear unites people. Fear, not trust,— where did such knowledge come from for such a naive fool? It was even more irritating.
«Why do you think so?» — how his voice irritates me, I don't want to talk to him anymore.
—Spirit. Sometimes girls have moments when they need to be alone with themselves.
«I don't remember you starting your period. Or are you masking those red days so well? That would explain a lot about your behavior this evening,» — the parasite mused, causing irritation and disgust. There were some personal topics I wouldn't want to discuss with him.
—No. I just want to be alone. Could you do me a favor and pretend you don't exist?
«Oh. Is… are you so upset by my knowledge of the world? If you want, I can teach you a lot,» — what?
—Really? Wait, you said…
«I meant the source of knowledge. I won't tell you about its origin, and many of them will remain with me. But if you ask the right question, I might be able to answer it and teach you useful things that can help your entire country,» — is he telling the truth? No, he's lying! He's probably lying. But it's better to keep playing, not giving in to emotions.
—Um… thank you. I need to think, good night.
«Good night, Azula.»
The spirit left me.
I was left alone with my thoughts. Did he tell the truth about his knowledge? I don't think so. He'll probably only tell me what he's not afraid to share. But even so, it's a success. Knowledge remains knowledge; having obtained it, I can determine its value myself. Despite the suspicious emotional outburst, which was unexpected, I managed to improve our relationship with the unknown, and learn a lot about him. And if our conversations continue with studying, I can learn even more, while extracting possibly very valuable information. And I'll know what to do with information, unlike him.
This was good news, but why did I behave so impulsively? Red days? No, I'm monitoring my cycle. His education hurt my self-esteem, but this much? No, that can't be. The spirit's influence? Did he do something to my body again? Most likely. It's probably like that. It's all the spirit, he probably arranged everything to gain my trust. Well, I can play on this. Having figured out his not-so-difficult plan, I can use it to my advantage and gain his trust myself. After that, it will be easier to extract his knowledge. Perhaps he knows much more useful things than he is willing to share.
Thinking about the spirit, his knowledge, personality, goals, and the perceived danger, I didn't even notice when I fell asleep.
***
«Good morning, how did you sleep?» — Azula heard the spirit's voice as soon as she woke up.
—As if you don't know?— the girl answers with slight irritation, sharply getting out of bed, and begins to adjust her nightgown. With willpower, she quickly banished all drowsiness and fatigue from lack of sleep. Yesterday, the princess went to bed a little later than scheduled.
«I'm not omniscient, didn't you sleep well? You know, lately you've been so tense, you could use more relaxation,» — the spirit continued in a cheerful voice.
—Relax?— Azula answers in passing, looking at herself in the mirror.
«Why so surprised? Relax, rest your soul, do useless things for the soul. Take hot baths, listen to music, read stories, do silly things, have fun with fri... let's skip that moment. In general, do everything that your peers do when they relax,» — the spirit continued after a pause, but the princess understood everything.
—I have neither the time nor the desire,— Azula answered calmly, recalling that she didn't have many friends either, but that wasn't the point here.
«You know, you're like tempered steel,» — the spirit suddenly declared.
—Yes? Why that comparison?— the girl was surprised by her interlocutor's words.
«Hard, but brittle, and the harder you are, the more brittle you become in the end,» — the spirit kindly explained. Azula knew about such details of steel tempering, but still considered such a statement ordinary nonsense that the spirit loved to chatter about.
—Nonsense. Let's end it here, I have to go to the servants, we can continue this conversation in this manner only in the evening.
«You definitely need to learn to relax. You're too tense,» — the spirit replied before the girl left her cabin, going about her business.
This day for Azula was little different from yesterday. After waking up, the princess first visited the servants, who were located nearby on the floor adjacent to her chambers, along with part of the imperial retinue. The staff of maids quickly tidied her up. The spirit, in its usual manner, sarcastically commented that without the maids, the princess would become completely helpless.
The girls did everything to the best of their ability. Next was a meal, and then study and training. The princess did this for almost the entire day, alternating theoretical study of some particularly important subjects with the practice of lightning bending and firebending. Despite graduating from the capital's academy for girls and receiving her diploma, she continued to study. Advisors Lo and La taught her politics, strategy, economics, and other things that received little attention at the academy. Azula never stopped learning. Just like the parasite that had settled in her body, it never stopped chattering and commenting on almost every action of the princess.
And so the whole day passed. In the evening, the princess continued to compose poems of forgiveness for the spirit, trying to obtain that very forgiveness. The spirit, clearly pitying the princess, gave her a little time for small competitions of knowledge, where it too often achieved brilliant victories. But the loss no longer bothered Azula. She eagerly absorbed all possible knowledge that the spirit could offer, listening with great interest to almost all of its words.
«You know, I've been bored lately. Perhaps you know some game that's beneficial for the mind?» — the spirit inquired in passing, as she struggled to solve a problem he had written. And this was after ten minutes of explanations.
—Hmm… the only thing that comes to mind is Pai Sho, but I don't know the rules of this game and I don't have any pieces. I always considered such pastimes a waste of time,— Azula replied, pondering the spirit's words.
«You shouldn't. There are some games that teach you to think and analyze well… you know, I have an idea, but it's better to leave it for tomorrow. I need to think about something. I'll have something to do. It's probably late now, you should get some sleep for tomorrow,» — the spirit replied in a thoughtful voice.
—Have you changed your mind about sharing your knowledge with me?— Azula said, adding a touch of disappointment to her voice.
«No. It's just that you really need to get some sleep. A fresh mind works better than a tired one, and you haven't slept enough since yesterday. Go to sleep. Or are you trying to get a fairy tale out of me?» — the spirit replied playfully, but he received a completely different reaction than he expected.
—Hmm. Why not, tell me your fairy tale,— the girl answered calmly, deciding that such a thing wouldn't harm her before sleep.
«I wasn't expecting that, I told you I don't know how to tell them,» — the spirit replied somewhat bewilderedly, while the princess changed into her sleepwear.
—Does a spirit not know fairy tales? You tell me, and I'll decide if you do or not,— the princess insisted with a slight smile.
«Good night, Azula.»
—I'm still waiting for my fairy tale,— Azula insisted, getting into bed and covering herself with a blanket.
«Good night,» — the spirit left the girl without a fairy tale…
***
—Yes! I defeated you because I am the best! You will never wash away this shame and humiliation!— the girl exclaimed triumphantly, looking with burning eyes at the improvised chessboard from top to bottom. From an excess of emotion, she even got up from the table and clenched her fists.
«Such a strong reaction. Congratulations on your first victory, you understood the rules of the game very quickly. Well done,» — the spirit replied, impressed by the princess's active behavior.
—Why are you so calm? You lost! Completely crushed! It took me less than half a dozen games with you to achieve a confident victory. You should suffer, be ashamed, be humiliated!— Azula replied to the spirit, not understanding how one could remain so calm after a defeat.
«Hahahaha,» — the spirit laughed at her very sensitive speech.
«You see, as a rule, defeat teaches much more than victory. My defeat gives me the incentive to work on myself. To become better than I am now. We will play chess again, I will try to surprise you. And your three defeats warm my heart, even though I don't have one.»
—Excuses of the losing side,— the princess replied with amusement, raising an eyebrow slightly.
«It's late, we'll continue tomorrow. Did you like the game?», — the spirit replied playfully, not taking the princess's words to heart.
—It's not as bad as I imagined. And no, we won't continue tomorrow.
«Why? It seemed to me that this was much more interesting for you than studying or poetry, and such pastime is quite beneficial for the mind,» — the spirit asked, not understanding.
—Tomorrow we arrive at the port of Shu Jin city, near which is Piandao's estate,— the princess explains, starting to change into her sleepwear.
«I see, so we'll play later,» — the interlocutor replied easily, accepting the information.
—Later…— Azula replied meaningfully.
After changing, she lay down on her large and soft bed, putting her hands behind her head. Sleep wouldn't come to the princess.
—Spirit?— the princess addresses the spirit, who had suddenly fallen silent and hadn't even wished her good night.
«Azula?»
—What are you doing?
«My spiritual business, which I won't answer. I have things to do besides watching the world through your eyes. What? Did you want to talk to me before sleep?» — the spirit inquired with a smirk, as if tasting something pleasant. He didn't even hide his pleasure in communicating with her.
—Yes. Are you sure I should go to Piandao alone, without an escort?— the girl calmly inquired, as if talking about a neutral thing like the weather.
«Why not, come and say that you want to learn from the best swordsman. Let him teach you everything he deems necessary. Then you'll quickly learn everything, and I'll share more important information with you. I'd even say critically important information. And then we'll see,» — the spirit replied, as usual, scattering hints and saying nothing.
—It's an unpleasant feeling to be in ignorance and act blindly,— the girl replied with distress.
«But it's so fun.»
—It seems I'm having fun?— the princess raises an eyebrow again.
«But I'm having fun, good night, you are a great player and a good conversationalist, Azula,» — the spirit habitually wishes good dreams, giving the girl a light compliment.
—Good night, spirit, you are a weak player and a so-so conversationalist,— the princess replies with a smile, closing her eyes.
«As always, ruthless, but I like you for it,» — soon Azula fell asleep, allowing the spirit to attend to his own affairs.