She stepped out into the cold, clenching her fist tightly as Gerard's words replayed in her head. She's to marry a stranger or die just like her father.
Her heart twisted painfully. She had thought she had already been forced to bear the worst—that losing Renard had been the cruelest fate the moon could hand her. But this? This was a second death, one she would have to endure while still breathing.
By the time she returned to Astrid's quarters, her tears had dried to salt on her cheeks. Astrid was bent over a low table arranging freshly washed linens. She looked up immediately, her keen eyes narrowing.
"You've been crying again."
Gisela shook her head quickly, unwilling to speak. Her throat was raw, her voice trembling too close to breaking. She busied herself with the vials of herbs and roots stacked neatly in the healer's basket, pretending to measure out doses.
Astrid studied her for a little while, before walking closer to her. "Is it Renard? Did he say something to you?" She asked, placing her hand on her shoulder and trying to comfort her.
Gisela let out a bitter laugh, and shook her head vividly, sniffling loudly as she wiped off her tears with the back of her hand. ''No. This time, it is not him."
Astrid furrowed her brows and tilted her head, then blurted out in confusion and surprised. "Then what?"
Gisela turned to face her, her eyes blazing with suppressed fury. "His father has ordered me to be joined under the next moon. To a man I do not know, do not want."
Astrid's lips parted in surprise. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again, as if she's struggling for the right words. Finally, she whispered, "That is cruel."
"Cruelty has kept me alive this long. I shouldn't be surprised. But it hurts when I think about it.'' Gisela muttered with a teary face, and there's silence in the room afterwards.
However, the sound of footsteps in the corridor drew their attention. Renard entered, clasping his hands behind his back, and glancing around the room. His eyes fell on Gisela instantly. For a moment his gaze softened, then hardened again when he saw the streaks of red at the edges of her eyes.
"Gisela." He said slowly, then gulped down and continued. "My father asked me to make sure you are prepared. Astrid, I'll need a moment with her."
Astrid hesitated for a moment, her eyes flicking between the two of them. With a shrug, she gathered the linens and walked out through the door, leaving the both of them together.
Gisela held her breath as Renard began to step closer to her. "What did he tell you?" He asked as he got to her side.
Gisela lifted her chin and met his stare, even though it made her heart ache. "That I am to be joined under the same moon as you."
Something flickered across his expression, shock, guilt, maybe even anger. But he schooled his features quickly. "To whom?"
"It doesn't matter," she spat. "He says refusal will cost me my life. That is all you need to know."
Renard bit his lower lip and clenched his fist at his sides. Slowly, he stretched out his hand to touch her, but stopped himself immediately. The conflict in his eyes was as plain as the pain in hers.
"Gisela..." His voice cracked for the first time, low and almost tender. "I never wanted this for you."
"And yet it is always me who pays the price for your choices, Renard."
His eyes darkened, but he didn't argue. He had no defense, and they both knew it. For a long moment they simply stood there, staring at each other with different thought brewing in their minds. Without a word, Renard turned away, running a hand through his hair as if dragging himself back into control.
"You'll survive this," he said finally, his tone colder now, almost harsh. "You've always been stronger than you know."
Gisela blinked her eyes rapidly and opened her mouth to respond. But unfortunately, he's already gone out, leaving her with the crushing weight of his words.
When the door shut, Gisela sank to her knees. She pressed her palms against the cold floor, and continued to sob bitterly. Astrid returned after a while. When she saw Gisela kneeling on the floor, she rushed to her side and pulled her into her arms.
"Gisela," Astrid whispered, rocking her gently as one might soothe a child. "Don't break yourself for anyone. I understand how you feel, but you can be better.''
However, the words fell like dust. Gisela felt hollow, her spirit cracking beneath the pressure of the moon goddess's decree. She wiped off the tears from her eyes fiercely and pulled away, forcing herself to her feet.
"I cannot cry forever," she whispered hoarsely. "If I do, they'll know I am weak. And weakness is all they need to bury me alive."
Astrid's gaze softened, but she did not argue. Instead, she picked up the abandoned basket of herbs and thrust it into Gisela's hands. "Then let your hands keep busy. If you cannot fight them, at least fight despair."
Gisela nodded numbly, and bent over the vials she'd left earlier in Astrid chamber, though her vision blurred with tears she refused to shed. Slowly, she began to grind the dried leaves, with different types of root. She remained there all day, until nightfall. Astrid brought her food, but she refused to eat. Hunger was nothing compared to the storm gnawing inside her.
When she's done grinding, she applied it on Astrid wound, then headed back to her chamber. She lay down on her cot, staring up at the ceiling beams until her eyes burned. Sleep came reluctantly, dragging her into a restless drift.
But then, hushed voices stirred her awake. She sat upright and gazed intently at the door, her heart beating rapidly against her chest.