When I woke up, I was lying flat on the Ascension Hall floor. Smoke still curled from my robe, and the smell of fried Ashok was strong enough to season potatoes.
The crowd gasped. Someone whispered, "Didn't he just… die?"
Another whispered back, "Yeah, but he looks too stupid to stay dead."
I groaned, sat up, and brushed ash off my robe. "Relax, peasants. Death is just a hobby now."
My dad rushed over, face pale. "Son! You're alive!"
"No thanks to the gods' obsession with barbecue," I muttered. "At this rate, I'll need a punch card: die five times, get the sixth death free."
The priest, whose job was apparently to pretend none of this was happening, coughed nervously. "Ahem. Technically, your ceremony was already completed. You are still… registered as a C-class Mage."
The crowd snickered. C-class Mage. The fantasy equivalent of being told your life's weapon is a butter knife.
I stood tall, raised my hand like I was about to drop the hottest mixtape, and declared: "Wrong. I am no longer your average C-class PowerPoint Magician. The gods themselves have upgraded me. Behold!"
The crowd leaned forward.
I took a deep breath. "Summon Fireball!"
The crystal pulsed. Magic surged. A sphere formed in my palm—
—and I was now holding a literal red rubber ball. On fire.
I blinked. The audience blinked.
A kid in the front row shouted: "Yo! He just invented dodgeball!"
The entire hall erupted in laughter.
"Fear not," I said, tossing the flaming toy between my hands like it was part of the plan. "This is only a demonstration. A warm-up, if you will. Observe—"
I cleared my throat and raised my hand dramatically. "Cure Depression!"
The spell pulsed outward in a golden wave. For three glorious seconds, everyone's mood skyrocketed. The nobles smiled, the peasants beamed, even the guards looked like they had just been paid overtime.
And then the crash hit.
"Oh gods," one noble gasped, clutching his chest. "My wife… she only married me for the potatoes."Another fell to his knees. "I've wasted forty years collecting spoons!"The priest dropped his staff and wailed. "I devoted my life to celibacy and spreadsheets!"
Within seconds, the Ascension Hall turned into a live-action group therapy session. Half the nobles were crying into their robes, the guards were reconsidering their careers, and someone in the back started writing a resignation letter to life.
Dad grabbed me by the shoulders, eyes wide. "Son! Stop this madness!"
I smirked. "Relax, Dad. This is just beta testing. I'll patch it later."
"Stop—"
"Summon Applause!" I shouted.
The hall immediately erupted in clapping. Everyone clapped—whether they wanted to or not. The nobles clapped while sobbing. The guards clapped while panicking. Even I started clapping against my will.
The priest tried to regain control. "Th-this is heresy! You are mocking the ceremony, the gods, and our sacred traditions!"
"Summon Baldness!" I declared, pointing at him.
The priest, still bald from his crisis, slapped both hands against his shiny dome so fast it sounded like someone was playing the bongos.
"See?" I said proudly between involuntary claps. "They love me!"
Dad's jaw clenched so hard I thought he'd awaken a hidden SSS-class: Disappointed Dad.
And that's when the commentary started.
Somewhere above, divine laughter boomed. I looked up, and there it was—a glowing golden panel in the sky, scrolling like Twitch chat.
GodOfChaos69:This kid is comedy gold.
Saint_of_Fire:Imagine losing your hair live LMAO
HeavenlyIntern:pls don't clip this the boss will kill me
Holy_Simp_69:Summon me next, daddy Ashok.
I froze. "Okay, which one of you gods is 'Holy_Simp_69'?"
A booming voice chuckled. "Wouldn't you like to know, mortal?"
The chat exploded.
Viewer123:Ratioed by God LMAOOO
ZeusAltAcc:Two lightning strikes and still alive. Nerf when?
My dad looked up, horrified. "They're… watching us?"
I grinned. "Dad, I'm literally trending in heaven right now. You raised an influencer."
"what is an Influencer . I don't think its a real job" he asked.
"Tell that to the clapping peasants," I said, still involuntarily applauding myself.
The priest said. "You are mocking the ceremony, the gods, and our sacred traditions!"
"Summon Baldness!" I declared, pointing at him.
FWOOSH. His remaining eyebrows vanished. His head gleamed like a blessed disco ball.
The crowd gasped.
One kid shouted: "He just speedran male puberty!"Another whispered: "That's not a spell. That's bullying!"
I put a hand to my chest. "No, that's called… character development."
The priest collapsed, shielding his shiny scalp with trembling hands. "You monster!"
The gods above were crying with laughter.
AngelMod:Bald priest speedrun any% WR
DivineCamGirl:someone clip that pls
Dad buried his face in his hands. "Son, this isn't funny! You're humiliating yourself!"
"Dad," I said proudly, standing tall in the chaos, "I'm not humiliating myself. I'm creating content."
I said "Stop"
everything ended and back to normal
The priest, still bald from my last 'experiment,' peeked at me nervously. "Young man, you are still officially registered as a C-class Mage. Your, uh… antics will not change that."
The crowd chuckled. C-class Mage. The insult stung harder than the lightning.
But before I could retort, a familiar voice drawled from the back of the hall.
"Ashok?"
I froze. No way. It couldn't be.
Through the crowd, a man walked in slow motion, because of course he did. Blond hair, satin scorpion jacket, toothpick in his mouth. A soundtrack I didn't order started playing in my head.
It was him. Aryan Gosling.
Not Ryan. Aryan. His low-budget, knockoff fantasy-world reincarnation.
"Aryan!" I shouted. "Bro! What are you doing here?"
He stopped, leaned against a pillar, and said the only words he's legally allowed to say in every timeline:
"I drive."
The entire hall fell silent. Even the gods above leaned closer.
"You… drive?" I repeated.
He nodded once. "I drive."
Dad blinked. "What class did he awaken?"
Aryan placed his hand on crystal.
[Driver – A-Rank]
The hall gasped.
"Driver?" someone whispered."What even is that class?" another muttered."Is that… legal?"
"What do you even do?"
Aryan just shrugged. "I drive."
I stood up and patted his shoulder. "Ladies and gentlemen, behold my friend Aryan Gosling: proof that God has a sense of humor and a Nutflix subscription."
The priest squinted. "But… drive what? Wagons? , Ships?."
Aryan stared at him coldly. "Doesn't matter. I drive."
The silence was so awkward, even the gods coughed.
And that's when I had an idea.
I raised my hand. "Summon… Car!"
in a burst of divine light, there it was: a 1973 Chevy Malibu, matte black, growling like a pissed-off tiger with back pain.
The crowd screamed. Peasants fainted. Nobles clutched their pearls.
Aryan walked up to the car, ran his hand across the hood, and actually smiled. "This will do."
"Of course it will," I said proudly. "It's from Drove. It's basically your soulmate."
"I want do drive it" he asked.
"You want to be my driver?" I asked.
"Yeah" he said
"Why should I do that?" . i asked
"If I drive for you, you get your job done. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. when we get there. Anything happens I'm yours. No matter what. I don't sit in while you're running it down. I don't carry a gun. I drive" he said
background music 🎵" There's something inside you its hard...
to explain" 🎵
"OK" i said.
A random guy suddenly stole the magic crystal.
He looked at me, serious. "Get in."
"What?"
"Get in."
So I did.
The crowd parted in terror as the car roared to life. Aryan slid into the driver's seat like he was born in it. The leather seat swallowed him like a throne.
the exit the thief exited is narrow that a car cannot fix
Aryan broke the exit with SSS grade car while chasing the thief.
Aryan helped the thief by slamming the car into him at 200 km/hr. but that ungrateful prick just stayed on the ground like dead cockroach.
after helping the thief's family getting health insurance we retrived the ball and placed it in where it was supposed to be .
I turned to Aryan. "So listen, man. I know you're new here, and I know your vocabulary is limited, but I've got a proposition."
He glanced at me.
"You drive, right?"
"I drive."
"Right. And I summon things, right? Together, we can be unstoppable. You handle the wheel, I handle the spells. Picture it: you drifting into battle, me yelling random crap and hoping it doesn't kill us. We'll be legends."
He stared ahead at the road, expression unreadable. The car hummed, engine purring like destiny itself.
Finally, he said: "Partnership accepted."
I grinned. "YES! New squad unlocked: Meme Mage and Driver. World domination, here we come!"
The gods above erupted in laughter. One typed in the glowing divine chat:
He just formed a party with a Driver
Another replied: This is going to end in fire.
Spoiler: they weren't wrong.
SSS car SSS class What could go wrong