"Come to think of it, Schwein, didn't you mention in-game that someone confessed to you?"
Hayashi Maki asked with a grin.
Akane Segawa rolled her eyes. "Why bring that up? I told you I already turned him down!"
"Well, I just found it surprising. You said he's really popular in your class—why refuse?"
Hayashi Maki wanted to know this tsundere's criteria, so he shamelessly asked.
Akane puffed her cheeks and muttered, "Because he's too popular."
"If I dated someone like that, I wouldn't have time to game! I barely get to play after school as it is—if I dated him, I'd have zero free time. No thanks!"
Hayashi Maki blinked. "That's the reason?"
Alright, he got it. Akane Segawa was a dyed-in-the-wool net-addict—the type who values game time more than boyfriends.
"What else would it be?"
She stared him down. "I'm not interested in that kind of thing, so stop trying to make a move on me!"
Don't think I'll say yes just because you're handsome. I've got games to play!
Kyoh Goshoin nodded in agreement. "True—dating is out of the question."
"Exactly!" Ako chimed in eagerly—then offered a "solution."
"Schwi-chan, you could do what I did—marry 'Innocent Hubby' in-game! It won't eat into your game time and you can get along great. Win-win!"
With that, she happily scampered over and latched onto Hayashi Maki's arm again, forcing him to "appreciate" the softness.
Hayashi Maki looked helpless. Ako was clearly the clingy type.
Akane waved both hands frantically. "No way. I said I'm not interested in that stuff. I'm fine the way I am."
"And it's gross. I wish those boys would take a hint and stop confessing to me all the time!"
The humblebrag sucked the light from Ako's eyes.
"So you are a normie, Schwi-chan…"
"Schwi-chan's a normie… Normies go explode!"
Going edgy already?
Hayashi Maki's mouth twitched.
Kyoh also stared at Akane with dead eyes. "So you're different from us after all—a normie. Would you kindly go stand in the corner and accept your beating?"
Ako played along, striking mock fighting poses as she advanced.
Akane's lips twitched. "I said I'm not interested in that stuff! Be normal, would you? Besides, you two are gorgeous—and Guildmaster Apricot is the real-life student council president. You not having friends would be the weird part!"
At that, Kyoh sighed; the light returned to her eyes. "Can't be helped—my family's strict. I have to think carefully about making friends. I only just convinced my parents to let me play MMOs."
"No wonder you're sometimes not online—you're under parental control?" Akane asked.
"Exactly. Nothing I can do."
Hayashi Maki, meanwhile, felt a bit awkward. If Akane counted as a "normie" just for getting confessed to often, then what about him, the super-normie with multiple girlfriends? Would they ostracize him? Should he fess up or not?
While he pondered, Akane glanced his way.
"Speaking of normies—you, Innocent-kun. You're a light-novel author and that face… You definitely have a girlfriend, right?"
At that, Kyoh and Ako both fixed him with dangerous eyes.
Hayashi Maki waved a hand and didn't hide it. "Yeah. With a face like this, not having a girlfriend would be weirder."
"Eh? Darling—y-you have a girlfriend?"
Ako yelped; the light left her eyes again and they began to well. Faced with that "faithless man" look, Hayashi Maki could only sigh.
Akane sniffed. "You're the biggest normie here! Guildmaster, Ako—drag him to the wall and beat him up!"
An's smile turned perilous. "No lies detected. Innocent-kun, you're the normiest of normies."
Hayashi Maki shrugged, calm. "Can't argue. You're not going to kick me out of the guild for that, are you?"
Kyoh flipped her hair and smiled. "Hardly. It's just surprising your girlfriend still has time to game."
Hayashi Maki pulled out his phone and showed a photo. "Here—this is my girlfriend. I'll introduce you sometime. She's very gentle."
Kyoh, Akane, and Ako all leaned in. When they saw Shiina Mahiru's sweet smile and gentle eyes, Akane couldn't help blurting out:
"She's an angel!"
Kyoh nodded vigorously. "An actual angel! Innocent-kun, your girlfriend is no joke!"
Just from a photo, both girls felt a twinge of defeat. They considered themselves beauties too—popular despite few friends. But compared to Mahiru, their pictures didn't hold up.
Hearing their reactions, Hayashi Maki nodded proudly. "People say that a lot. I think so too—an angel is right by my side."
"Uuu… Innocent hubby… this is cheating! You have to let me meet her!" Ako burst into tears.
"That's why—stop calling me 'hubby.' We're only married in the game," Hayashi Maki said, rubbing his temples. He'd braced for her reality/game blur, but facing it was still a headache.
Kyoh and Akane wore equally odd expressions as they watched the heartbroken Ako.
Right—married in-game only. Now that he had a girlfriend IRL, there was no need for Ako to be this upset, right?
Hearing him, Ako's eyes dimmed again. She bowed her head and muttered on repeat:
"Hubby doesn't want me anymore… for another woman… uu—an angelic, beautiful, gentle woman…"
Kyoh whispered, "Hey, Innocent-kun, don't just sit there—comfort her."
Akane urged, "Yeah—say something! She's not in a good place right now!"
They'd both picked up on Ako's fragile state and were starting to panic. Hayashi Maki sighed and nodded gently.
He slipped an arm around the still-sniffling Ako's waist and pulled her onto his lap. Then he kissed her forehead.
"Ako-wife, don't cry. I'll love you forever. No matter how many girlfriends I have, you'll always be my beloved."
"Scumbag!"
"Why are you so good at this?!"
Kyoh and Akane stared, dumbfounded—and a little flushed.
~~~
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