*WARNING. This chapter contains graphic content. Proceed with caution.
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* **
*gasp!*
Was that a dream?
No, I'm pretty sure it happened…
I frantically scanned the room as I held my neck. It certainly occurred but I was in a deep sleep. A vision of my mother choking me kept reoccurring as a nightmare for the days that followed, she had gone now but she left a mark. I looked from side to side viewing my reflection in the mirror. Sigh. Just as all my other bruises have held yet she gave me a new one.
I don't know how much time had passed but I know I've wasted too much time. I need to check my calendar. The moments I spent recovering felt like I was in a coma. I've long healed from the fever but I guess I over exerted my body to the point of it needing a state of hibernation. I should be more careful from now on, the top priority must be my safety.
"Oh, you're awake", a pitched voice came from behind me. I frowned when I failed to notice one of the errand girls enter the room.
"How long was I bedridden?", I asked as I walked to the door.
"Two weeks and three days", she sighed as she placed down the laundry basket she was carrying.
"Heheh! You'll have to work for free in equivalent to all the days you've skipped---She's gone!"
I had already left the moment I heard what I needed.
"Wait! You're not supposed to leave! The physician said so!", she rambled while she tried looking for me but I had escaped by climbing the wall behind the sleeping quarter.
Two weeks? How concerning. I wasted no time and ran for the hill. As I rushed to get to my tent, I desperately tried recalling all of the stories events to make sure that I still remembered the flow. When I got to read my scrapbook again, I was relieved to find out I hadn't missed a detail in the progression, it's still fresh in my memory. I was worried since I didn't get to retrieve the information for two weeks, I feared his deal might have taken effect while I was unconscious forcing me to forget the flow of the story.
Hmp. He is exerting his influence. I'm sure there well be even more difficult scenarios thrown at me in the future. I unknowingly glared at the sky. Just for extra precaution, I'll have to make two copies of my scrapbook now so I can have one with me all the time and the other one for security. Luckily, I still have enough page scraps from the books I stole that I could cut out. As for the glue, the cornstarch I had saved had hardened but it'll have to do, it'll melt anyway once I heat it up.
And so, I spent the rest of the day creating a new scrapbook. When I got hungry, I stole some fruits in the nearby tree to feast on. I made sure to use the words I used in the last book for more certainty and even refined it. This one is fully pasted, nothing is written so I managed more space for details. While it's important for me to know the entirety of the storyline, I cannot miss out on the smaller details as well. They might seem insignificant at first but they are what connects the dots to the main plots. I am not overlooking even the smallest bit.
The more concentration I put into my work, the more I had realized that this may end up being a full book. Instead of just two, I ended up making at least three copies by night fall. I expanded and added more details in the original scrap book while I organized it more strategically in the second book, all without changing the pacing of the information. And for the third, I made a simplified outline of the entire storyline just so it would be easier and more convenient for me to carry around, just four papers long instead of that thick scrapbook.
With this, I can fold it and simply tuck it in my dress. I'll have to make sure it doesn't get wet though. I was going to make another copy of my outline but by the depth of the night I had ran out of glue. My fingers are starting to grow numb and tired as well, and I'm famished.
By now, they would be serving rations for dinner at the entertainment house. So I decided to go back. Taking a shortcut in the bushes instead of the streets. I indeed made it back in time, I found all of the children sitting on the kitchen floor serving each other food. They stopped when they saw me and after greeting them with a slight bow I walked in and took my own bowl and a huge portion of rice twice its size.
"Woah"
"Tsk! She just barged in"
No meat but there's a lot of fried vegetable today, I don't care as long as it's tasty.
"Leave her be", they whispered among each other as they made stolen glances at me. Observing my every move as if I am a patient. For some reason, they are pitying me.
They're not annoying today, it's at least peaceful. They are even giving me their leftovers. Whatever the deal is, I'm not complaining. I have to eat while I can.
But since I'm back, it also means I have to work and cover up for what I had missed. I thought my shift would be the same as usual but tonight was different. There are a lot of customers and from what I've heard, they've already been here a few days. The place was also more polished than usual with decorations all over the place.
They must be rich since the old hag went all out. There were supposed to be a lot of people to entertain but I haven't seen (nor heard) my mother around, she should be all over the place by now screwing whichever bastard she thinks is the richest.
I also find it strange as to why I was put on a different uniform than the rest and tasked to serve drinks in a lot of the rooms. Luckily, in most of them, there were more chit-chats than screwing. But, they all gave me a weird look which I know I should be cautious about.
For the rest of my shift, I've been on edge. As far as I'm aware, except for her problematic background and death, there wasn't any major detail about Lupa's personal life. Her life was rather a repetitive cycle of abuse and neglect so whatever complicated scenario comes up now is by default my god's option pick. He has been harassing me a lot lately with all these nonsenses, and I'm either gonna put up with it or not.
Are you on the edge of your seat yet while sucking on your pinky? I rolled my eyes again at the night sky. Sigh. It has become a habit of mine.
As the night progressed my job turned from serving drinks to cleaning up drunk vomit. It had already been dawn when we all finished and by then everyone was beat. The kids went straight to their quarters and collapsed into slumber. And as much as I love to sleep on a warm floor with a proper bed, I wouldn't be at ease if I stayed. So, I escaped to my tent and slept there instead.
I slept 'til the afternoon. I had no plans of going back in case something were to happen today. Because I left in the uniform, it had been what kept me warm through the night instead of just my regular sack of a dress. This one is polished and layered.
Come to think of it, judging by the quality of their clothes, those customers must have come with fortunes. They were a party of merchants from this kingdom and although they are only the lowest form of aristocracy they are already considered to be very rich than average. Since they are constantly on the move promoting trades for this nation, they must be on their way to the next country to market and they're here because this border has the shortest distance between the neighboring countries. But this is a secluded village, not many people know of this shortcut. She must have likely heard of their venture in town and invited them here, that old hag is very conniving.
I thought that I would be relaxed for the rest of my day but as I was on my way back to my tent after a refreshing drink of water from the river, something ambushed me along the path of the hill. Mother. Just a few walks down and she would've seen my hideout, I am more worried about that.
I immediately turned to run when she spotted me but when I got to the stairs of the temple, an even bigger threat had awaited me.
Tsk! These people just won't leave me alone.
My body froze out of submission, instinctively. I was once again faced with fear. My father stood firm at the bottom of the stairs, already glaring at me. The same with my mother when I looked back at her. I began to sweat, there's no escaping this.
I slowly descended down the stairs and waited until the three of us got together. Father instantly came and grabbed my arm when I got near him to make sure I don't try running away.
"You know I really could not care less about disobedient kids like you, but at the end of the day, I'm still your mother", she sighed as she flipped her hair then crossed her arms.
When she turned to me she slouched down a little to my height and harshly pushed her finger on my forehead. "Be grateful I even gave birth to you".
"Now, come do your job!", she yelled as she walked away. Father nudged me to follow suit.
"Keep being a pain in the ass for both me and your mother and we might as well just throw you out", he threatened. Worry not, you already have.
So, she has finally told him about my job? I thought he absolutely dreaded it if I worked there. What lies must she have told to convince him?
I just realized, this is the first time that we've been together, all three of us again after my birth. One of them is always gone whenever the other is in the house. I've never had a problem with them when they're asleep but the moment they are conscious and I am in their vicinity, it's like their only purpose is to be a nuisance to me (which if according to his will, it is).
Not good.
They must be up to something. I started looking around to see if there were any chances of me escaping. Father cannot run after me but mother well, and she'll easily catch up to me since she has long legs, but she doesn't seem to be in good health today. No, I must not take impulsive chances. I don't know what they're going to do because they're technically not part of the story, they're only part of my reality, Lupa's.
Funny how they're not even important to the whole story but they are making my life difficult, they are not to be dismissed. So long as they are alive that is.
I looked up to my side and father had already been staring with disgust and moments later, we had already arrived at the back door of the entertainment house, he had only let go of me then. I caressed my poor arm. Mother must not want people from around here to see us all together. Now thanks to her, father knows where to find me. I need to evacuate from my tent once I get back.
"Phew! I finally got you back", mother sighed as she walked up to her husband to hug him.
"If it wasn't for your father I would've lost my mind looking for you, you little shit",she hinted with aggression while the man was just gawking at gleefully at her. Happy to be of her service. Although she's taller, while he's only by her ear in height comparison, my father isn't a short man either. He's is taller than the average men here, I bit they'd be the same height if he hadn't lost a leg.
I'm sure they've been sweet talking while I was busy comparing their heights.
"'Least now you're finally contributing to this family. Don't be a prick and help your mother, otherwise…I'll shoot you again, this time I won't miss", he whispered the last part with a mischievous grin after mother had walked away after their hug.
"Come along now, say goodbye to your father",she giggled unknowingly. I only took one last look at my old man while he was waving at us with a big smile, it gave me goosebumps. I immediately ran inside.
…..
I followed mother inside but only to buy some time. I made sure to wait a couple of minutes to make sure father had finally gone before attempting my escape again while my mother's back was turned. But she had caught me before I could even make a full run and now I'm being dragged across the hallway of the brothel.
"I gave birth to you. I feed you---I'm the reason you even have clothes! Yet here you are being so… ungrateful!", mother grunted.
"No!",I tried grabbing unto the wooden railing as she dragged me.
"Stop causing a scene!"
"Let go of me you wench!", I yelled as I desperately tried pulling my arm away from her.
"Wench?! Why I oughta cut your tongue off!", she pulled on my arm aggressively. Her voice growing louder.
"It was thanks to me that you even have this job!"
"I don't want it!"
I really did use all of my strength to pull away but before I could, we had already made it to the madame's office where she quickly closed the door shut behind her after pushing me inside.
I couldn't make a run for it now, even if I tried to. She's guarding the only door.
Now we're both panting. I glared at this whore and got up from the floor.
"What do you want from me now? My salary!? You already have it---I haven't so much as held a penny out of it! Why have you brought me back here!?", I exploded while backing away until I am backed up to against a table. It was all I could do out of the situation anyway, might as well let it all out. But…I overdid it.
Her eyes widened and she paused. She's shock that I am now finally talking back to her for the first time. But that daze quickly turned to anger as her gaze turned cold and her fist clutched.
"You little bitch", her voice sent chills down my spine. She walked up to me with a death stare and slapped me so hard that I stumbled and fell. I haven't even a moment to recover when she grabbed my hair and before I knew it, my head's being pinned atop the madame's table.
"Do you even know what I've done for you?". She hissed, gritting her jaw and harshly pinning my head down, barely containing her anger. My arm is twisted behind my back and so is my fucking neck on the table.
"How much I've sacrificed for you?", that tonality was the most frustrated I had ever heard from her. Did I strike a nerve?
"You know nothing of it, so just shut up and do as I tell you to"
"I-I'll do anything, you know that…", I say as I forced a laugh while trying to think of a way out of the situation.
"...Anything but a service", my eyes widened when she finished my sentence. I tried to look back at her but she only pinned me harder.
Then, in that moment someone knocked and she grinned.
"But that's exactly what I need you to do", then she walks up to the door while I am being ruthlessly dragged behind her.
I've started rewinding every interaction and observation I've ever had of her in my head. I was certain that if I was to keep working in this place, it will eventually happen. I never doubted that she would eventually make me. I planned accordingly. But to be subjected to it at this age? I am merely 4. All the patience I have ever had of this family has now vanished.
"Good lords, why did you lock my office??",it is the madame and that queer again.
"Madame! Perfect timing. Here she is! My lovely daughter is delighted to be here", she forced me to bow.
"She's just a little nervous", I felt her nails dug into the back of my neck.
"Well done, my dear. Hahaha!", the old hag laughed entering the room.
"Come, come. We must prepare her for tonight"
My eyes widened for I immediately knew what they meant. Even if father was going to hunt me again with his gun if I tried escaping then, I should have still ran but I was overcome with a child's fear. Now, these fiends have surrounded me. I struggled to desperately break free with all my might but my physical strength only paled in comparison to theirs. A reminder of how weak I actually am in this body.
I screamed.
Yelled.
Kicked.
Bite.
To the best of my abilities but I was simply put down like a rabid dog.
My spine dropped and my head spiraled. This is supposed to be a saner world, a saner life---Heck! My sanest life! I was thinking that I could be more relaxed in this life because it is simpler. I thought that since I had gone through so much before, that somehow this one would be easier. Only to then realize that I've gotten my hopes up too high. I put trust on fate when I knew that I had none, not even having the authority of having one. Everything is being controlled and all especially because I can feel his influence on them.
He is trying to break me.