On most days, aside from estimating the probabilities of my life for the next ten-to-twenty years, I spend my time alone. I can't stay at home, it's scary there for this little self when I have abusive parents so I take naps under the shade of trees. I couldn't make friends even if I wanted to because of my circumstances with this village.
I finally learned why Lupa was ostracized as a kid despite having a pleasant personality for her character, it was because she was believed to be a foreigner considering she and her father is the only one in the place with such dark colored hair. I won't bother prying on Lupa's saintess personality, being nice won't get me anywhere here.
Being a child is the most deadening part of my lifetimes as I plot my revenges for each, so I really couldn't care less to act as how a child should. Since this is another new life, I get the feeling that I have done and know all of those things yet still able to get that awkward feeling of first experiences. My understanding of the flow of events is still intact, I've made sure to write down every bit of the story as I could.
I'm so busy planning the future that I couldn't care to think about the present, so I can't be bothered with measly things. Thinking alone is plenty exhausting and with this frail body of mine, I do need a lot of resting rather than enjoying aerobic social activities as one child does.
I am already a crafted character for this verse with such an unfortunate life and trying to survive with it so I must chose to act what is best for me and with minimal complications as much as possible.
Described as sickly pale but with undeniable beauty and her deep raven black hair that makes her look even more ghostly. Only the color of her orchid pink eyes and lovely personality is what makes her shine. As I stare into the river I am indeed her reflection for I am her, only, my personality isn't one that is lovable. I'd be mistaken as a ghost as I am now.
This self well be abused throughout her short miserable life. From every single one of them to no exception, from her parents, to the neighbors, even to the kids. As I am now her, I am not taking such abuse as much as she endured in the story. I am not foolish like her.
So I won't get caught, I stay away from people and just roam around the forest searching for medicinal herbs or play by my own since I've got nothing better to do. I cannot relate to children anyway so might as well enjoy my own kind of childhood. And as for my meals, I've learned my ways here through stealing goods while my parents go about their own lives. People here say that I look so much like mother except with black straight hair instead of fiery red curls. The spitting image of my mother.
My parents are really sweet around each other but still mostly argue. My father is hopelessly depressed so liquor is his only saving grace. With me as Lupa, of course I'd be a very conscious child and not once have I seen him act any better towards me. Guess he badly wanted a boy and I'm a disappointment.
While laying on the meadow staring at the sky, wondering what ever the fuck my god may be up to, with nothing but the distant shrieks of the village children playing, the twittering of birds and the gentle breeze of the late afternoon that sways the leaves of the bamboo trees nearby. Deep in my thoughts I wondered of how things would unfold when suddenly, I hear my mother's voice softly calling out to me in the distance.
"Lupa", I got up and turned to her.
She was standing a few distance away from me with her angelic painted smile as usual. I stared at her for a second. My mother is the most beautiful woman I've seen in this village or rather by standard even, none could compare to her beauty. Standing there still in her dirty dull gown, she looked like a beautifully oil painted canvas of one late summer afternoon. She is but a lowly whore, yet her demeanor is the gentlest of nobles and graceful as princesses, while her voice is as sweet as cold mellow although surprisingly it doesn't sound as good when she sings.
Her gentle gaze was very appealing to a child that I found myself running to her when she spread her arms out for me and went for a hug. She cuddled with me for a bit as well while she released a soft laugh.
"Have you been playing by yourself again?", she asked as she squatted a bit to match my height and place her hand on my head, messing my hair.
But this whole afternoon was such a bliss making me drowsy, so all I could answer her with was a nod.
"I see"
From her hands gently patting on my head, it suddenly moved down to my ear as she pinched it hard. An unexpected twist to which I could not grasp the reasoning behind until she spoke.
"Have you been snitching on me to your father again? Didn't I told you not to tell him where I was", she pulled my ear up as she started walking. Right, I forgot not to tell him.
"You naughty brat, don't do it again otherwise I'll disown you", she threatened in her soft voice and roughly let go of my ear before grabbing my hand to hold them. Since she has long nails, I'm pretty sure this warmth I feel dripping from my ear is blood.
"Also, do something about that hair, cut it short. You know your father hates seeing that", she complained as we walked or rather me being dragged.
"But even if I cut it short, it won't make a difference. I'm still a girl"
She stopped for a second and looked down at me.
"Yes, we can't do anything about that but at least don't piss your father off so much, he's already giving me a headache and you only add up to my stress. But the madame does pays us extra if we have a family to feed so I guess you are somewhat useful", she blabbered as we walk and all I could do was look up at her.
'We barely even eat'