I got it like a bad game of Jenga everything happened at once. I loved Nanase and I'm sure I always would, but she would never give me what I needed. Fuuko had always given me everything, but I didn't want Moma Fuuko. I wanted Fuuko, heart, body, mind, and soul. I rushed from the party still wearing the sash and crown I seen her slip away and something told me if I didn't chase her and make her mine right now, we would lose our shot.
I was right behind her, and I grabbed her arm and dragged her into a dark corner, "Fuuko I need to know. Do you love me as a project, because I'm damaged or do you feel it to. That growing need to sink into us and let the world burn."
"My love is real. Always Yuni, momma Fuuko will be here for you."
"No. No more Fuuko. I have a mom and she's great and I definitely would never do with her what I've done with you. I want girlfriend Fuuko are you interested. I'd leave Nanase for you. Please Fuuko I only feel sane with you don't leave me," I didn't know what had happened, something had snapped and I was frantic not to settle anymore.
"I already said I'd never leave you. What's gotten into you?"
"Never leaving isn't the same as always being with me. I need that, let's go public," I said the thought by passing my brain altogether and popping out my mouth.
"We'll see how you feel after you talk to Nanase again. We both know you're going to forgive her."
"She chose Volleyball, she chose Yuki, she chose this stupid race for all her friends. I told her to have more faith in me, but she's put it everywhere but in me."
"So poor Yuni-Chan's feeling hurt?"
"At first. Now I don't even care what she does. Fuuko the way you make me feel, the way you look at me, I've never..." I began and then lost my words for a moment, "Any ways starting tomorrow I'll put my moon back in I'll never take it out again so please give me a chance to prove I deserve all your kindness and care."
"Ok Yuni. Talk to Nanase and if you tell her we're together I'll fight to become your number one."
She walked me to the train, and I knew tomorrow would be the hardest thing I had ever done, but for whatever this was with Fuuko I would try.
The next morning as Nanase got on the train I sent her a text, "We need to talk before class."
She read it instantly and made no move to respond or acknowledge my needs. I sighed at how consistent her disinterest in my needs was. When we arrived at the station and she still made no effort to meet my gaze or come to my side I had had enough I wouldn't make Fuuko wait any longer.
"I'm dating Fuuko. I hope you and Yuki will be happy," I sent that text as I went into the restroom. Less than ten seconds later Nanase entered the bathroom.
"Yuni, what are you talking about. I'm not with Yuki and you promised you were done with Fuuko," Nanase said, trying to control the tone in her voice, but failing miserably.
"Natsume, I know your upset and I'm sorry for the jab about Yuki. You might not be ready to ask her out. Any ways, Fuuko's adamite that I don't rush things I might regret, so I'm not breaking up with you. I'm not giving up Fuuko either. I've been thinking about it and you hurt me first I gave you the ultimatum so why is it I have to give up something? I'll make time for us, but I love Fuuko. I fell in love with her in all those little moments you left me alone. If you want to be done, I'll accept that, but you should know I plan on going public with Fuuko so people will judge our relationship," I explained, watching her face for any sign of what she was thinking.
"So, it's that simple to you? I just give you everything you want or walk away."
"Isn't that's what you did to me?"
"This isn't like you Yuni let's talk about this this weekend."
"No this isn't a discussion it's an announcement. This has been so hard on me, but I'm going to do better."
"Why do you want to do better for her?"
"Because she was happily there for me even when I was giving her my worst."
With that Nanase left I waited a breath and followed behind her and as I left Fuuko wrapped me in a giant hug from behind.
"Yuni, my girl, I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, Fuuko, but you really shouldn't be loitering outside restrooms eavesdropping on private conversations," I responded giving her a quick peck on the cheek wrapped her fingers in mine and we headed for class. I slid into my desk and Fuuko stood behind me draping her arms over my shoulders and breathing in my ear. I could feel all the eyes on me as my classmates moved around us various clicks whispering.
"Guess Fuuko finally wore her down hey," I heard one girl say and I seen Nanase grimace in response. I felt bad, but I couldn't deny the way Fuuko made me feel.
"Yuni, is that really proper in here? You don't want to start rumors, do you?" Nanase asked from near the door.
"No need for rumors. Me and Fuuko are together. Any questions feel free any criticism don't bother."
"Yeah, Nanase there happy let it be."
"Yeah, girl let them have this one."
"Think if it was you wouldn't you want to be able to be happy."
Man, they were ganging up on her and it made me happy to be accepted, but I didn't want this for Nanase. Then there was a change in the tone of the room.
"Teachers coming, you know you freaks can get expelled, so you better knock it off," some girl screamed as she darted through the door and to her seat. Now I remembered why Nanase wanted it kept quite people suck.
At the end of class, me and Fuuko griped hands again and headed for our next subject and we repeated the process all day. I felt like a dancing circus monkey. Our only break was when we had lunch on the stairs to the roof. We fed each other and made out. By the end of the day the whole campus knew we were together and that night Fuuko appeared at me door.
"My mom is really mad. Can I stay here for a while?"
I nodded and let her in. I could tell she was in her fragile emotional state, so we cuddled and slept. In the morning her coy playful smile was back along with that bounce in her step that made my heart skip a beat. Somehow knowing it was all an act made it all the more alluring. Such resolve and strength of character was something I could only dream to possess. Meanwhile here I was living out my fairytale with the girl I loved, and I still couldn't bring myself to let go of my first love who broke my heart. For Fuuko I resolved once more to do better. The next week past by in a blur I still waited for Nanase and we went home after practice, but Fuuko waited with me now and there was an unease in Nanase.
"So, if you went public so quick with Fuuko did I just force you do be quiet?" Nanase asked on the way home one night.
"At first, but then I don't know. We never talked about this kind of stuff, so I was never able to figure out where I stood," I responded casually, not sure what else to do.
"Then how do you know you're doing the right thing with Fuuko?"
"I don't. Maybe the world will ruin us for going public. Fuuko got kicked out, but I know we're on the same page, because we talked. What did you assume we just make out the whole time you're at practice?"
"No, I assumed you did more than kiss. You guys have slept together and Fuuko has no boundaries," she began, and I glared her into silence.
"Fuuko has always respected my boundaries and for someone who's just short of making out with her bestie every day I don't want to hear your judgment. You know Fuuko is staying with me. She was with me while you were prioritizing your team. However, you notice she's not here now. She wants you to have every chance to see if we want to salvage our relationship. So, she waited at school alone for the next train. That's who Fuuko is. She really believes nobody can ever put her first or maybe nobody should. Despite how amazing she is."
"You've never been like this before. You've never been for anything Yuni. Fuuko has really changed you."
"Yes. She made me realize I'm entitled to have my needs met. I love you Nanase. Probably always will but be real you always said it was never one thing over another. You love your friends, your sports, and your girlfriend all the same. Maybe that's true you never miss practices even when we have plains and practices are added last minute. When social engagements come up you never turn away a single one of your friends and you never skip on the little shows of affection for Yuki. Gifts, eating lunch she made when you told me you didn't have time to eat, and going on dates while your ankle healed. So, I no longer want you to give me the priority I deserve, but consider why we're still clinging to this when we've both clearly have other priorties?"
"So, you want to break up!" Nanase shouted and instantly looked around to see if anyone we know had heard.
"Didn't say that. Fuuko would never forgive me. I just want an answer. I love you, but why didn't you ever trust me or approach me the way you do Yuki?"
"So, your jealous of my best friend?"
"Yeah, isn't that fair? Weren't you jealous of Fuuko even when you thought we were just friends?"
"Sure, but that's different. Fuuko has never been subtle."
"You think every time Yuki grabs your arm and pulls you away from me and you let her is subtle. You remember she knows I'm your girlfriend, right? She constantly choses to separate us and you constantly let her. Not to be rude, but even Fuuko doesn't do that and we're dating."
Nanase looked truly hurt by my words, but no matter how this was going to resolve itself I needed both of us to stop backing away from difficulties and be honest like we never had before. Maybe I didn't know what my carrier looked like or what collage I was headed to, but thanks to my mom and Fuuko I remembered no matter what I would be in my future, so I owed it to my future self to prepare myself for a happy future. I patted her hand and the rest of the ride past in silence until I was preparing to get of the train.
"You want to get together this weekend? I miss your touch," Nanase asked reaching for me, but stopping herself before we touched.
"I think you should figure out how you feel before we're physical again," I replied and then Nanase said the last thing I ever expected her to say.
"I think it would be easier to figure out how I felt if I could feel anything beyond this desire for my beautiful, seductive, girlfriend."
"I'll ask Fuuko if I can clear an afternoon."
We parted ways. It had been months since we had been physical. I was a little nervous to even consider it, but I wanted us all to have the best shot at a clear resolution so I would talk to Fuuko and make it work.