Elsie quietly led me into her room.
It was tidy almost too tidy for a child.
Soft colors, a large round rug, and a few carefully lined-up books on the windowsill.
"Do you... want to see something?" she asked softly, without looking directly at me.
I nodded.
She walked over to a small chest beside her bed, opened it slowly as if it held a treasure and pulled out a doll.
It was old, but well preserved. Handmade, with delicate embroidery on its dress and tiny golden buttons. Its eyes looked almost alive.
"This is Mira," Elsie whispered. "My grandmother gave her to me. She said... Mira protects those she loves."
Her voice was barely audible, as if she were afraid of startling the doll.
I carefully reached out my hand.
The moment my fingers touched the fabric, I felt a slight tingling against my skin.
Warm. Alive.
Something... reacted to me.
I immediately pulled my hand back and looked at Elsie.
"Did you feel that too?"
She nodded slowly, her eyes wide.
"She doesn't do that for everyone..." she murmured.
I swallowed. My heart was pounding.
Was that... mana?
Maybe... maybe in this life, I wasn't as powerless as before.
~
Two weeks have passed since I met Elsie.
We see each other regularly sometimes at her place, sometimes at mine. She still doesn't talk much, but I like that quietness.
It's nice not having to say anything to feel understood.
Ever since that strange moment with the doll... that warm tingling... one thought won't leave my mind:
Do I really have mana in this life?
I've started diving more into magic.
Most of the time, I ask my mother or father to read me old books about it.
They probably think I just enjoy the stories, but I listen carefully to every word.
I want to know how it works. How you feel it. How you control it.
I want to be strong!
—
One year later
I'm five years old now and a lot has changed.
For one, I taught myself how to read.
My parents probably think I just look at the colorful pictures in the books.
Honestly... who would think a five-year-old could already read?
But I can. And I do all the time.
Secretly, quietly, when no one's watching.
Especially books about magic about mana, elements, rituals.
For others, they're just stories.
For me, they're possibilities.
When I think about it...
It's finally time.
Time to try.
Time to cast magic.
I sit in my room, the door quietly closed, the book resting open on my lap.
I flip through the pages I almost know them by heart until I reach my favorite spell.
A small spell, harmless, simple. Just a spark of lightning floating in the air.
No fire, no explosion. Nothing that could cause trouble.
Just a spark.
I place my hand over my heart, just like the book says.
I whisper the words.
Slowly. Clearly.
"Lumen alis, awaken in the light."
And then, I wait.
Nothing.
Or...?
A faint crackling sound.
Almost too soft to hear.
And then just for a moment a tiny flicker flashes above my hand.
A weak, trembling light.
But it's there.
My first spell.
My heart pounds with excitement.
I... I can use magic?
The weak spark that shimmered above my hand wasn't a dream. It was real.
I made it happen.
The words from the book they worked.
My breathing quickens as I try again.
I focus, trying to make it stronger.
"Lumen alis, awaken in the light."
Again.
This time, it takes longer but the spark grows stronger.
It flickers and shines, swirling in the air like a tiny, dancing flame.
I can feel it the energy flowing through me.
The mana.
It's there. I have it.
My smile grows wider.
But then, suddenly, the spark flickers and fades.
And with it, the energy in my body drains away.
I suddenly feel exhausted.
"What...? Why so suddenly?" I mutter, trying to motivate myself.
But then I notice how heavy my head feels, my legs give way and thud Icollapse to the floor.
"Great... that's it, then. I guess I overdid it."
I lie there, staring up at the ceiling.
What's wrong with me?
Is my mana really that weak?
I wonder, just before I drift into a deep sleep.
—
It's been seven months since I discovered that I have magic.
And since then, I've been training secretly, without my parents noticing.
My body feels different now, as if it's slowly adapting to the magic.
I have much more mana in me enough to cast spells more than once.
I even learned how to aim and shoot magic precisely.
It's so much fun!
When I practice the spell with my hand, the spark of lightning becomes a small, flying ball that I can shoot around the room.
It feels almost like a game.
I could practice for hours without getting tired.
I realize it's about time to attempt a more advanced spell.
I flip through the pages and find a spell about lightning magic.
It sounds so powerful, so exciting, that I can hardly resist.
I point my hand toward the window, take a deep breath, and softly read the spell.
The words feel familiar, and for a moment, I can feel the energy pulsing around me.
"Fulminis imperium, erupt!"
But the moment I finish the last words, I realize too late that I've lost control.
A bolt of lightning shoots out from my hand, much stronger than I expected, and crashes against the window.
With a loud crack, the glass shatters, and the lightning bursts outside like a wild electric creature finding its way out.
I stand there, frozen, adrenaline rushing through me.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind me.
"Ilana?!"
I turn around, startled. My mother's golden eyes narrow as she looks from me to the shattered window.
"What have you done?"
I swallow, my heart racing.
"I... I was just... practicing a little."
"You were practicing magic?"
Her voice sounds worried, but also strangely amazed.