Alex's life on Righteous Peak was a relentless storm of righteous chaos, his days filled with grinding spirit herbs, scalding medical baths, and bizarre exercises under the icy gaze of Senior Sister Shui Bing, the youngest Valley Master of Flood Redemption Valley. Her strictness, backed by her terrifying Shui Clan background, had pushed his dantian to Qi Condensation Stage 8 in two months, his cursed bad luck yielding treasures like Spirit Stones and Jade Lotuses. But now, at 16, standing in the stone pavilion overlooking the peak's glowing jade cliffs, clutching his soggy bamboo basket of spirit turnips, Alex felt his stomach drop as a new terror emerged from the shadows—a humanoid Jade Shadow Puppet, carved from dark spirit wood, its joints clicking with eerie precision. Its blank face, save for two glowing jade eyes that seemed to smirk, radiated a Foundation Establishment aura. It towered over Alex, its sleek limbs menacing, like a warrior crafted by a mad alchemist.
The disciples gathered around the pavilion gasped, their qi-infused snacks forgotten. Fang, drenched from Flood Redemption Valley, whispered, "That's the Jade Shadow Puppet! Shui Bing uses it to train elite disciples. It's ruthless!" Mei, the scarred outer disciple from Thunder Salvation Valley, smirked, tossing Alex a spirit apple. "Good luck, Chaos Boy! You're gonna need it!" Liang, the lanky whiner, munched a spirit plum, muttering, "He's gonna die." Alex fumbled the apple, nearly tripping into a rune that sprayed sparkles, drawing laughs. "It's not funny!" he groaned, his green eyes darting nervously, his shameless MC vibe faltering.
Shui Bing stepped forward, her silver robes shimmering, her Nascent Soul aura chilling the air. Her lips twitched, a hint of chaotic mischief in her cold eyes. "The puppet will teach you fighting basics—stance, strikes, and defense," she said, her voice sharp as a blade. "It will spar with you daily until you can hold your own. Fail, and I'll drown you in a qi bath for a week." She handed Alex a wooden training sword, her eyes softening briefly. "Don't disappoint me." With a ripple of water qi, she vanished, leaving Alex face-to-face with the smirking puppet.
The puppet's jade eyes glinted, its blank face somehow radiating smugness as it tilted its head, as if sizing up a particularly pathetic bug. Alex gripped the sword, his hands sweaty. "Alright, let's do this," he said, his shameless grin shaky. Without warning, the puppet lunged, its wooden fist slamming into his chest, sending him sprawling across the pavilion. "Ow!" he yelped, his turnip basket flying, scattering soggy vegetables. The disciples winced, but Mei laughed, tossing a qi dumpling. "That's gonna leave a mark!" The puppet, standing over Alex, crossed its arms, its jade eyes narrowing in a silent taunt that screamed, Pathetic. It tossed him a glowing recovery pill, its mechanical arm flicking it with such casual disdain that Alex felt personally insulted.
"Eat," the puppet rasped, its voice a grating buzz, its head tilting as if mocking his pain. Alex, groaning, swallowed the pill, his bruises fading but his pride shattered. "You're worse than the heavens!" he muttered, scrambling up. The puppet's eyes glinted, and it pointed a wooden finger at him, then at the ground, as if saying, Stay down, loser. Alex, his shameless side flaring, brandished his sword. "Oh, you're on, Smirky!" The disciples roared, turning the pavilion into a chaotic theater, passing around fizzing qi tea and glowing snacks like it was a comedy show.
The puppet lunged again, its wooden kicks a blur, knocking Alex into a pile of Starleaf herbs. "Not the herbs!" he wailed, the pile igniting briefly before Shui Bing's water qi, summoned from nowhere, doused it, soaking him. The puppet, unfazed, performed a mocking bow, its jade eyes twinkling as if laughing. "Stop smirking!" Alex shouted, swinging wildly. The puppet dodged with eerie grace, then delivered a humiliating headbutt, sending him tumbling into another herb pile, this one revealing a hidden Spirit Stone. The disciples gasped, Fang tossing a spirit lotus. "How does he do that?!" Liang muttered, choking on his plum. Mei smirked, tossing a candy. "It's his curse! I'm stealing that trick!"
The daily beatdowns became a sect spectacle. Each morning, after grinding herbs under Shui Bing's watchful eye, Alex faced the puppet in the pavilion's training circle. It was relentless, its wooden limbs a whirlwind of precise strikes—fists to the ribs, kicks to the shins, and once, a spinning elbow that sent him crashing into a qi-infused table, splintering it. The puppet's silent mockery was infuriating: it would tilt its head after each hit, as if saying, Is that all? or cross its arms with a slow nod, like a disappointed teacher. After every thrashing, it tossed a recovery pill with a flick, its jade eyes glinting smugly. "Eat," it rasped, sometimes adding a twirl of its finger, as if daring Alex to try harder.
Disciples flocked to watch, turning the pavilion into a lively theater. Mei brought qi-infused dumplings, cheering like it was a tournament. "Hit back, Chaos Boy!" she shouted, tossing a dumpling that Alex fumbled, triggering a sparkle rune that dusted him in glitter. "Not helping!" he yelped, only for the puppet to kick him into a rune that sprayed bubbles, making him look like a soggy, sparkling mess. Liang, munching a spirit plum, shook his head. "He's gonna die." Fang, splashing water playfully, grinned. "Nah, he's too cursed to die!" Their banter, mixed with the scent of dumplings and herbs, created a peaceful yet chaotic atmosphere, grounding Alex's misery in camaraderie.
One afternoon, Jin Hao visited from Medicine Valley, his gold robes stained with elixir soot. "Brother, you look like a punching bag!" he laughed, tossing Alex a healing salve that nearly hit his face. "Shui Qing's got me brewing pills that explode if you sneeze, but this puppet's got nothing on my cauldron blasts!" They sat under the jade tree with Mei and Fang, swapping stories. Jin Hao recounted a failed elixir that turned his hair blue, making Alex snort tea through his nose. "At least I'm not blue!" Alex said, dodging Fang's playful splash. Mei tossed a candy, smirking. "You're sparkly, though!" The peaceful moment, with the peak's qi humming softly, eased Alex's aches, even as the puppet loomed nearby, its eyes glinting mockingly.
The disciples, inspired by Alex's beatdowns, started sharing tales of his past misfortunes, each turning to treasure. "Remember the Horned Toad chase?" Fang said, tossing a spirit lotus. "Alex ran, tripped into a ditch, and found a Qi Talisman!" Liang groaned, tossing a plum. "And the Ghost Rat stampede! He broke my cart but dug up a Spirit Herb!" Mei laughed, tossing a dumpling. "Don't forget the Lightning Carp! Zapped him, sank a boat, and he pulled up a Water Spirit Pearl!" Alex, dodging the snacks, grinned shamelessly. "I'm the heavens' favorite punching bag, but they pay well!" The crowd roared, their laughter a warm backdrop to the puppet's silent smirks.
By the end of the first week, Alex was a bruised mess, but the recovery pills worked miracles, healing him for the next day's thrashing. The puppet's training, brutal but effective, steadied his stances and sharpened his strikes. Shui Bing, observing one morning, nodded, her cold eyes warm with pride. "Better," she said, tossing him a qi-replenishing pill. "Keep going, or I'll make the puppet hit harder." Alex, panting, grinned shamelessly. "I'll make Smirky beg for mercy!" The puppet tilted its head, as if scoffing, Dream on.
The sect's chaos peaked with a "Chaos Sparring Night," inspired by Alex's beatdowns. Disciples held mock duels with wooden swords, turning the pavilion into a circus. Mei knocked Liang flat, laughing, "You're worse than Chaos Boy!" Alex, watching, tripped over a training dummy, revealing another Spirit Stone in its base. The disciples gasped, Fang tossing a lotus. "How?!" Liang muttered, while Mei smirked. "His curse is a cheat code!" The puppet, standing nearby, crossed its arms, its jade eyes glinting as if saying, Still pathetic. Alex, brandishing his sword, charged it, only to be flipped into a herb pile, triggering a harmless puff of qi smoke. The crowd cheered, tossing snacks that Alex fumbled, sparking more runes.
As the night ended, disciples shared glowing yams under the stars, their laughter echoing. Jin Hao tossed Alex an elixir, grinning. "You'll beat Smirky someday, brother!" Alex, munching a yam, nodded, his muscles aching but his spirit high. With Shui Bing's guidance, Jin Hao's friendship, and the sect's chaotic embrace, he'd turn the puppet's smirks into respect—or at least survive trying.