"I was just trying to entangle the
Threads of words that bounds my existence,
Searching for if there was any piece I left behind
Of my heart that was long broken.
I turned back, looking for the long lost peace
I used to have as a kid back then,
Opened the door to watch the dark
Only to see if I could find the spark of light somewhere.
I saw the streetlight, lighting up the paths
For who feels lost even in the brightest nights,
I felt a cold breeze passing by me
As if it was a winter night time.
The fog could be seen, heavy and deep
Even in the middle of summer delight,
Just like my heart, suppressed by the snow
When the warmth was too light,
To save me and hold me tight. "
Sofia closed her diary, lost in her world of thoughts. She stood up and went near the window, it was summer but the wind was chilly.
She whispered, " But I haven't thought of a title to my poem..." She looked up at the sky, it was clear and the stars were twinkling bright - as if whispering secrets to each other, the moon was gorgeous as ever. She suddenly murmured "now I know the title". She took up her diary and wrote "A WINTER NIGHT, IN THE MIDS OF SUMMER "
Suddenly Sofia's phone buzzed, it was Billie. Sofia picked up the call.
"Hey Sofia, what's up? "
"Nothing much, just tired"
"Well, you didn't forgot to book flight tickets, did you? You remember right? My wedding is in next week! "
"Of course I do. And I also booked tickets already. I would be landing there by tomorrow evening."
"Good then. Well you're ok right? "
Sofia sighed and with a bittersweet smile said,
"Uhm.. Yeah, just.. Nothing"
" You don't need to explain anything. I can tell straight through your voice, you're still stuck in his thoughts."
Sofia's eyes slightly teared up. "Let's not talk about it. It'll only open up past wounds "
"Ok then, I won't mention it again. But c'mon, you can't be upset, it's literally my wedding... Well, see you tomorrow then. I'll come to pick you up babe"
"Yeah see ya'."
Sofia hung up . She still couldn't erase Alexander, she still can't forget him. And now she is going back to the place where she left everything behind...
Sofia pulled up her trolley bag to pack her stuffs but she found her old diary there. She remembered she wrote this diary when she was abroad, where she met Alexander. And that diary was all about him. She didn't mind it, she put the diary in her side bag and started to pack her stuffs.
The next morning she woke up and soon headed to the airport. The flight was almost of 5 hours, and finally she landed in that foreign land which still was familiar enough to her. She walked out of the airport and Billie was waiting for her. Billie ran to Sofia and hugged her tightly.
"I missed you babe.. I swear "
"Mee too. I missed you a lot"
They both smiled and gossiping about random stuffs, headed towards Billie's home. Sofia was feeling good seeing Billie after a year. On their way to Billie's place, Sofia looked around the city. It was still the same, nothing changed much. It was just her heart that doesn't feel the same anymore.
They reached Billie's place and Peter was already waiting for them.
"Hey Sofia, how was your journey? " Peter asked her with a smile.
"It was good. Just vibing all the way to my playlist"
"You really haven't changed a bit, you're still that sunny kind of person, ain't you? " Peter said, laughing.
"Whatever you say.. " Sofia replied laughing back at him.
"Hey guys, let's go in first or do you plan to just keep on chatting in the street? " Billie shouted at them, carrying all the luggage herself.
"Wait, I'll give you a hand." Peter said and went in with Billie.
Sofia stood there, looking around. That was the same road she used to walk by everyday, the same vibe, yet the feeling was different.
Sofia still couldn't brush off the thoughts of Alexander. She would meet him again in the wedding and that fear creeped her in slowly.
"Hope it won't take any unexpected turn again. I am tired of everything. It's been a year and I still couldn't move on and now if I see him again, hope we cross paths as strangers and not like someone we used to love. " Sofia told herself.
She felt her throat tighten, suffocated with words she couldn't release. Her heart was bleeding, but she couldn't cry. Maybe her eyes were tired of expressing the pain that she tried to hide. But she still couldn't burry it completely.
Only if she could be honest to herself, only if the fate wasn't so cruel to her, maybe she would've never carried the weight of leaving a part of herself behind... But would she ever reveal the truth behind her lies?