I stare at Neige wanting to say everything, anything. Neige's mouth is open trying to say something but no words come out. Her face pale. The Hafen starts rolling towards the battle, I turn and jog towards it, my rifle clutched in my arms. As I run I hear Neige's voice barely loud enough to hear over the sound of the battle ahead, "I love you". I freeze, turning my head to find Neige I see her with the other snipers, too far for her voice to have made it to my ears. I shake my head to recoup, and run towards the Hafen. Determined to make it through this battle, to see Neige again, and to find out whose voice that was.
The Hafen positions itself strategically in front of the bridge to the fort, it takes a lot of small arms fire but the armor easily deflects it, I stick close to the ragnite radiator at the back to protect myself from the shots. My sole focus on staying alive through gunshots and distant screams. The tank stops and turns to provide the most cover for the rest of the troops but a squad of lancers position themselves on the other side of the bridge. I look around at the chaos, gunfire and screams the soldiers around me flee from the tanks cover scared of the lancers, most getting gunned down from the machine guns mounted above us. I grab Nico a younger girl by the shoulder and pull her back behind the tank so she doesn't run away. As I risk a glance at the enemies I hear Nico praying to herself as she clutches a cross in her hands. My knuckles white as I grip my rifle, bracing as I hear the Lances fire their shots. For the first time in my life I pray to any god that they might save me.
One of the lances misses and flies off in the distance, while the other three hit the tank one after another in quick succession. The tank shakes violently and I hear Lieutenant Wallace and Miles scream something inside, I quickly hop on the repairs, watching as the tank quickly fires its built in machine gun directly at the lancers, mowing them down. As I repair the tank I hear mortar rounds fire off and in quick succession blast around me, throwing me on top of another person.
I try to stand up my arms giving out in exhaustion, the thick blood from the corpse under me clinging to my hands. I turn my head and see my fellow soldiers pushing up the bridge, while the Hafen remains at a halt due to damages, and barricades blocking its advance onto the bridge. Fire rages from the turret of the Hafen, my nose burns from the smell of fire, gunpowder, blood, and something I can't quite name. Something vile that reeks. I push myself up, looking down I see Nico's face lifeless below me. I panic "Help!" I shout "somebody help!" my throat burns from the smoke and I push myself to my knees my heart racing. I frantically push down on her chest trying to push through my panic and remember how to do CPR. Tears flood my eyes as I press down on her chest, once, twice, three times. I hear a crack as I push down too hard. I look up trying to find anyone who may be able to help better than me.
I see Neige and the rest of the snipers moving towards the Hafen for better cover. "Neige! call a medic quick!" I scream
Neige nods and turns around but freezes panic flooding in her face in an instant. Kai pushes her to the side as she runs to grab Karen. Shame fills Neige's face as she looks back at me, I look down pretending not to see her panic as she walks to the tank.
Karen comes and grabs Nico dragging her to the Medical tent, Lieutenant Wallace orders me to retreat since the Hafen can't push any further, as I walk to the camp I hear Kai scolding Neige, and telling her to go back to camp to recoup.
"Hey you okay?" I ask running over to Neige.
"O-oh hey, I'm fine." She says avoiding eye contact. I fall into step next to her, the silence like a weight between us. "Kai told me to report to medical for a psych evaluation after they take care of the wounded." Neige says breaking the silence.
My eyes go wide, "A psych evaluation? That seems a little... intense doesn't it? We're at war, everyone's going to panic eventually." I say hoping to make her feel better.
"I froze, it wasn't just my own life I risked but Nico's too." She responds as we enter our barracks in the camp.
I pause at the entrance, "I... I have to go see if Nico made it." I say looking over at the overcrowded medical tent. "Do you want to come with?"
"No... I could be the reason she didn't make it... I can't go see." I simply nod and leave.
As I walk to the medical tent the first thing that hits me is the stench, pungent and vile. I nearly vomit before I enter. "Hey, you need anything?" Karen asks as she looks up from a wounded soldier.
"Oh... um I wanted to see if Nico made it." I say quietly, the mood heavy with uncertainty.
Karen's face falls. "I'm sorry Elise, Nico didn't make it." She looks down in sorrow.
Tears well up in my eyes "shit... do-do you know the cause?" I stammer.
"She was dead by the time I got her." Karen goes back to attending the wounded.
I exit the tent and slump on the ground, my hands buried in my face. My mind replays the events over and over, the explosion, me landing on her, the crack I had heard when I was administering CPR. A sudden guilt washes over me... Did I kill Nico? Is the only thought going through my mind