The Miss Beachy incident had blessedly faded into a tender, albeit deeply embarrassing, memory. Kimley had even started to enjoy his brief chats with the sweet old woman, who now left him encouraging notes about his "dusting technique" and "excellent placement of canned goods." Life had returned to its normal, placid rhythm.
​That is, until Friday, when Leo lit up their group chat with the digital equivalent of a firework.
​Leo: 🔥🚨 ATTENTION GAMERS & SNACK ENTHUSIASTS 🚨🔥 The new Hayao Miyazaki movie, "The Whispering Woods of Nevermore," is out! Tonight. 7 PM show. We are GOING.
​Chloe: I've been tracking the pre-release reviews. 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. The animation is reportedly groundbreaking. I'm in.
​Kimley: A quiet night watching a movie? That sounds perfect. No drama. No mystery letters. No pies on the floor. Count me in.
​Leo: Excellent! I'll call the fourth member of our party. The legendary recluse himself.
​A few moments later, a new name popped into the chat.
​Surya: hi
​Surya was a friend of theirs from school, a creature of comfort whose natural habitat was a gaming chair surrounded by a fortress of snack wrappers. Getting him to leave his house was like trying to coax a hibernating bear out of its cave with a salad.
​Kimley: Hey Surya! We're going to see the new Miyazaki movie tonight. You in?
​Surya: maybe. is there food
​Leo: Surya, my man! It's a cinema! It's the holy land of popcorn, nachos, and soda the size of a small child!
​Surya: ok. but i have a problem.
​Chloe immediately switched to problem-solving mode.
Chloe: Is it a logistical issue? Transportation? Scheduling conflict?
​Surya: i am at my coding class. it ends at 6. the movie is at 7.
​Kimley: That's perfect timing. The cinema is only like, a ten-minute bus ride from your class.
​Surya: no. i can't.
​The reply was so blunt, so final, that it hung in the chat for a full minute.
​Leo: Whaddya mean you can't? Did you forget how legs work?
​Surya: it's too far. and complicated.
​Sensing that texting was insufficient for this level of absurdity, Leo initiated a video call. Surya's face appeared on their screens, looking deeply troubled. He was, as usual, in his fortress of solitude.
​"Explain this 'complicated' journey, O great traveler," Leo said dramatically.
​"Okay, look," Surya said, his expression dead serious. "My coding class is at Point A. The cinema is at Point B. In between... there is chaos."
​"It's two kilometers, Surya," Chloe stated, having already pulled up a map. "There is one road. You take the number 42 bus. There are no transfers."
​"Numbers are hard," Surya mumbled. "What if I get on the 24 bus by mistake? I could end up in another city. I don't have a passport."
​Kimley buried his face in his hands. "Surya, you don't need a passport to go to the next suburb."
​"And there's a big crossing," Surya continued, ignoring him. "With a traffic light. It has three colors. That's a lot of information to process under pressure. What if I cross on yellow? What if a car beeps at me? My focus will be shattered. I'll forget the mission."
​Leo was practically vibrating with a mixture of laughter and disbelief. "The mission is to watch a cartoon, not to infiltrate a secret base!"
​"My mother says I have a delicate constitution," Surya said with an air of finality.
​"Okay," Chloe said, her voice dangerously calm. "What, precisely, is your proposed solution to this... inter-suburban odyssey?"
​Surya's face brightened. "It's easy! One of you just has to come to my class, pick me up, and walk with me to the bus stop. Then you get on the bus with me, get off at the cinema, and walk me to the door. And then do it all again on the way back. You'll be my official escort."
​Kimley's soul audibly left his body. "You want a chaperone to travel two kilometers?"
​"I need a guide for the quest," Surya corrected him. "To protect me from the dragons."
​"They're called 'taxis', Surya!" Leo yelled, before collapsing into wheezing laughter.
​"Look, I'll make it worth your while," Surya said, deploying his ultimate weapon. "If someone escorts me, my mom said she'll pack an extra tiffin of her mutton biryani for them. With the extra crispy onions."
​The laughter stopped.
​Leo's eyes went wide. Mrs. Kumar's biryani was not a joke. It was a legendary, life-altering culinary experience. He looked at Kimley, his expression suddenly intense. "Kimley, my friend. My brother. You are the most responsible one among us."
​"What? No!" Kimley protested. "Why me?"
​"My navigational skills are too aggressive for such a delicate operation," Leo declared. "And Chloe needs to be at the cinema early to analyze the optimal seating arrangement for audio-visual immersion."
​Chloe nodded sagely. "He's right. The acoustic sweet spot is crucial."
​Kimley looked at their traitorous faces. He had been outmaneuvered, bribed by a meal he wouldn't even get to eat. He was going to be a babysitter for a grown man who was scared of a traffic light.
​"Oh my days, Fine," he sighed, the word tasting like defeat. "I'll do it. I will be the guide for your epic quest, Surya."
​Surya: ok thanks. bring snacks for the journey.
​Kimley hung up the call and stared at the ceiling. His quest for a quiet, drama-free evening had already been derailed. He was now on a side-quest: Operation Surya Shuttle. And the final boss was a bus schedule.