I sincerely believe that Zelretch was behind this madness. Also, since I was currently a teenager, which meant time-travel, then that meant I could blame the Blue. She must still be holding a grudge against me for the 'Montreal Incident' two years ago.
With a sigh, I held out the broom in my hand, waited for a few seconds, then with the ease of one who has done this many times before, brought it down just in time to catch three pairs of feet and sending their owners crashing to the floor.
"OOFF!" All three of them got the air knocked out of them from the hard landing and tried to get themselves untangled, just as the sound of stomping feet reached my area. "There they are!"
"OH SHIT!" The three guys paled as the kendo club raised their shinai and started to beat them with great prejudice.
The two girls closest to me turned and smile. "Ah Emiya-kun, thank you so much for stopping these three again!" The girl with the long brown hair tied into a pony tail and two bangs adorning the side of her face thanked me while bowing, with her friend with the short light brown hair followed suit.
"No problem, Katase-san." I accepted her thanks while thinking about the school.
Kouh Academy was previously an all-girls school that recently turned co-ed to allow boys to enrol. That said, the ratio of girls to boys was extremely high, partially due to the entrance exams and the payment fees to get in. Of the small handful of boys that do get through, these three that were getting their asses kicked in front of me were perhaps the most unwanted trio that every girl around would want to kick out of their campus. The 'Perverted Trio' as they were called, Hyoudou Issei, Matsuda and Motohama were people who seemed to be the very definition of perversity towards anything regarding the female body, and they were completely unremorseful about their behaviour, aside from the pain of getting punished from the females.
Heck, my first day arriving at this academy, and I had both students and teachers pulling me to the side and warning me about them to make sure I don't get mixed up with the wrong crowd. Apparently they had plans to expand into the 'Perverted Quartet', and they extend their invitation to any new male student that came in, be it a transfer student or a freshman.
It was just as well they warned me, though it was not quite needed, because soon after that, I found myself unknowingly stopping those three from trying to peep into the gym changing room, thus ruining their moment and somewhat making them decide to not invite me into the group. Unintentionally, I seemed to have raised my own status on that day, as both the students and teachers were both very happy about it.
Though up to this point, I was a little confused as to why some of the male students occasionally cursed 'Damn Handsome!' while the females were looking at me with somewhat scary eyes that reminded me of the females back at the Clock Tower.
"OUCH! AH! PAIN!"
I turned to look at the trio who were getting beaten black and blue, before letting out a sigh and turning back to Katase. "I don't suppose you can let up on the punishment? I think they got the message right about now."
"Are you with them?!" One of the newer members pointed her shinai at me.
"Nope, I am just fixing and cleaning the lights here." I motioned with the broom at the light fixtures in the Literature Club Room. "I was just finishing up when you guys came knocking."
"That is true." The club president agreed with her friends providing support. "Emiya-kun has been helping us for some time now, and he has not been with those awful trio."
"Emiya?" The girl tilted her head in confusion before her eyes widened in recognition. "As in the Fake Janitor?"
… I could so see Rin collapsing on the floor and laughing her tears out if she ever heard my reputation as the Fake Janitor has crossed worlds. Oh joy.
I mentally shook my head as I faced the two girls again. "So Katase-san, Murayama-san, could I ask that you let up on the punishment?"
"Hmm…" Murayama hummed as she alternated her attention between the three and me. "We could do that, but on one condition." She said with a glint in her eye, one that reminded me a little too much of Rin when she was thinking of extorting me. But this girl was still a novice at that.
"Let me guess, the air conditioning unit in your club-room needs fixing?" I nodded at the surprised expressions on their faces. "Your advisor had informed me about it, but I would need to check on something later. Would that be fine?"
"Deal!" Murayama and Katase beamed at the prospect of getting me as they ordered the club members to stop their attacks.
"EEHH! Emiya-Senpai is coming to our club?!" The girls let out a squeal as they looked at me with the same scary look that reminded me of a predator looking at potential prey. "Okay!"
"Wait a minute, get in line!" One of the girls behind the Literature Club President pouted. "We already have him coming to the Baseball Club later, so no cutting in queue!"
"Damn Handsome!" The trio cursed at me as they groaned in pain.
Hah~ such was my life now.
...
"Okay, can I just ask one question regarding the three of you?" I phrased the question with a notable tiredness in my voice. I had spent the past few minutes trying to calm the girls into agreeing to an arrangement for me to visit their clubs to fix their issues and disperse from the area, and I could feel the waves of an incoming headache on the way. "Why do you three keep getting into situations like this?"
Matusada, the former jock with the bald head, clenched his fists with great energy as he sat on the floor where they were recovering. "Because it is our dream to see the holy land for men!"
"And it is our duty to see their bodies and preserve the memories for life!" Motohama, the one with the spectacles proclaimed with great gusto. I shook my head as I turned to the last guy. "And what is your excuse?"
"To conquer all obstacles and feast on the Oppai!" Hyoudou Issei said it the loudest as his eyes were literally glittering with excitement. I could not help but let out a sigh of exasperation as I compared him to my world's Issei. For all I know, this guy could be his opposite counterpart in this world. Idly I wondered how my world's Issei would react if he found about this guy. I entertained the thought of him using all the Buddhist tools in his arsenal and beating the crap out of the Hyoudou kid while screaming "Impure Thoughts Away!" at his highest.
Yup, that perked me up a little.
"You do realise that your actions are causing you a lot of hurt right? So maybe you should tone it down a little?"
"Tone it down?!" Issei repeated in a shocked tone as the three of them looked at me with disbelief. "How can you not see that our actions are fueled with our manly passion?! To abandon the dream of seeing that utopia would be to deny our very existence as men!"
Normally, even I would be a little taken back by their will and desire so strong that I would probably take a step back, but in my current state, I was feeling both tired and slightly irritated. So with a light grimace and slight sadistic pleasure, I tapped into my inner Archer, and let loose my secret weapon.
"That may be the case, but isn't it because of said actions that prevented you guys from getting a girlfriend and fulfilling those desires in the first place?" At that, two of them fell to the ground with eyes tearing at the crushing blow, but surprisingly Issei was smiling from ear to ear.
"AHAHAHA!" He laughed in a manner that sounded a little evil to me. "Your words are powerful, but they mean nothing to me, because I, Hyoudou Issei!" He proclaimed with his head held up high, "now have a girlfriend!"
At that point, it felt the ambient sound got sucked out of the area, leaving only silence. I blinked once, and then twice. "Seriously?" I finally asked incredulously.
"Yup, her name is Yuuma Amano, she's a real beauty. We are having our first date tomorrow, and the best part" He paused before delivering the wham line. "She was the one who asked me out!"
"Whoa…" I stared at him in surprise before saying the first thing in my head. "Well… Congratulations, mate."
"Really thanks!" Issei said with excitement as he looked at me happily. I was honestly surprised at the guy actually getting a girlfriend, but I guess miracles do happen. And maybe this Yuuma girl can rein in on this guy's perversity. Well, I might as well give him a helping hand.
"Hyoudou Issei." I said in such a serious tone that the three looked at me with slight trepidation. "Since this is your first date, I should tell you first. You are to treat this girl with the up-most respect, you do not bring her to any shady locations, and above all else, you do not display any of your perverted qualities. If you can do all of that while being on your best behavior." I gave him a light smile of encouragement. "I think you can go steady with her for a long time."
Issei blinked before breaking into a smile. "Yes, I will take your advice Shirou!" He seemed to have changed his opinion about me positively given the happiness he was experiencing. I waved my hand before heading off to my class. At least the kid might have a happy experience.
"Damn you Ise!" "We'll kill you!"
… As soon as he gets away from the onslaught of attacks from his buddies.
...
Hey guys I really need you to throw some power Stones ;)
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