I was skeptical at first, half-expecting Nyxara to pull another prank on me. But then it happened.
It was real.
A glowing screen flickered into existence before my eyes, shimmering faintly like starlight on water.
[Status]
(Made pretty by yours truly, the adorably lovely, Nyxara)
[ Name: Pandaman Aurelith ]
[ Age: 2 days ]
[ Race: Half-Elf, Half-Draconic Human ]
[ Bloodline: N/A]
[ Physique: ??? (S-rank)]
{Stat Points}.
[ Strength: F]
[ Agility: F]
[ Endurance: F]
[ Intelligence: D]
[ Mana: E]
[ Rank: Unawakened ]
Nyxara's melodic giggle chimed in instantly.
[Fufu~ Behold, Host, your grand and mighty self—Stats Edition! Let's go through this, shall we?]
[Strength: F]
[Hmm~ So adorable. You're about as strong as a particularly angry chicken.]
"Oi!" I protested, but she continued mercilessly.
[Agility: F]
[Ahahaha~ My Host moves slower than a crawling snail. But don't worry, your panda suit makes it work. Cute things don't need speed~]
[Endurance: F]
[Oh dear… you could probably lose a fight to a stiff breeze.]
I buried my face in the blanket. "Please stop humiliating me."
But she wasn't done.
[Intelligence: D]
[Fufu~ Oho~! A genius baby! Look at that big brain—though not big enough to realize chanting 'Abracadabra' wouldn't work~]
"…You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"
[Hehehe~ Not a chance~]
[Mana: E]
[Ooooh~ promising. You've got some juice in there, Host. Just not enough to light more than… hmm… maybe a candle?]
[Unable to use due to being a Juvenile]
[Translation: You're a baby. You can't exactly go around firing dragon lasers yet, no matter how much you pout~]
"Dragon… lasers?" My curiosity spiked.
[Fufu~ Secrets~ You'll have to grow up a bit before you can peek at that part.]
Finally—
[Rank: Unawakened]
[Ah yes… the grand rank of literally nobody important. Bask in it, Host~!]
Her laughter rang in my head like silver bells, before softening into a mischievous purr.
[Correction~ this is love. And here is another spicy surprise for you. Hmm~ shall I tell you? …Nah! It's time for Host to guess~]
I sighed, muttering something about hating surprises.
As if sensing my struggle, she chimed again.
[Hmm~ looks like your tiny little brain is also that of a panda. That's why you couldn't guess it. Anyway—here's the surprise!]
A soft chime echoed.
Ding~
[Host is currently unable to make most use of the stats due to being a newborn]
I froze, then groaned in despair, tugging the blanket over my face.
"Great. All that humiliation… for nothing."
Nyxara's voice purred, dripping with amusement.
[Hehehe~ Not nothing, Host. Because you forgot to scroll down~]
"Huh?"
Another line of glowing text unfurled across the screen.
[Charm: SSS]
I blinked. "Charm…? SSS…?"
[That's right, Host~ You may be weak, clumsy, and about as durable as wet paper, but—] she giggled wickedly, [—you're dangerously, irresistibly cute. Even your cry could break hearts~]
"Wha—?! That's not a combat stat!" I protested.
[Fufu~ who needs combat when you can conquer maidens, queens, and maybe even goddesses, just by existing? You're basically a walking catastrophe of charm~]
My panda ears drooped, and I buried myself deeper into the blanket.
"…This isn't fair."
[Correction, Host~ This is love. And besides… who wouldn't fall for my adorable little panda?]
Knowing that it wouldn't do me any good to argue endlessly, I decided to fix some of the more embarrassing problems in my status window.
"First of all," I said firmly, "can you suppress my Charm stat as much as you can?"
[Eh? Suppress it? But Host, that stat is your greatest weapon! Imagine maidens swooning, queens trembling, enemies unable to lift their blades because they're too busy admiring your cuteness~]
"…Suppress it."
She pouted in my head, like a sulky little sister denied candy.
[Fineee… if my Host insists on being boring.]
A chime rang.
Ding~
[Charm reduced: SSS → S]
"There. Now at least I won't accidentally start a cult of baby panda worshippers," I muttered.
Nyxara giggled.
[Hehehe~ don't be too sure, Host. Even S-Rank Charm is dangerous. You'll still turn heads just by yawning~]
I groaned but pressed on. "Next problem. Remove that ridiculous line about 'Made pretty by your adorably lovely system' from the status window."
[Whaaa?! But that's my personal touch! My signature! My love letter to your stats!]
"Remove it."
Silence. Then a very reluctant sigh.
[Fine… but only because I love you, Host. I'll hide it… for now.]
I thought I'd won, until I hit the biggest problem.
"…Now about my name."
Nyxara immediately went quiet.
"Who even names themselves Pandaman? Seriously? This is humiliating."
[But Host, it suits you so well! A panda in spirit, a man in soul, a panda-man! Fufu~ Besides, it feels odd not having a name in your status window. I simply had to improvise.]
I knew it. She wasn't going to budge.
After several rounds of arguing, bargaining, and me threatening to scream like an actual baby in protest, she finally relented.
[Fine, fine~ I'll change it… but only once your family gives you your real name. Until then, Pandaman stays.]
I sighed in defeat. "…At least I tried."
But just as I was about to relax, her playful giggle returned, dripping with mischief.
[Fufufu~ Don't look so relieved, Host. Even after you get your official name… I'll still call you Pandaman in private~ After all, it's already carved into my heart.]
My panda ears drooped. "…This is my eternal punishment, isn't it?"
[Correction~ This is eternal love ♥]
I groaned, pulling the blanket back over my head, wondering if my dignity would survive even a week with her around.