Chapter 5: Battle Trials, Bad Advice, and a Buzzing Curiosity
The tension inside the monitor room was thick enough to be cut with a knife. On the dozens of screens, the first match of the Battle Trial was unfolding: Izuku Midoriya and Ochaco Uraraka as the heroes versus Katsuki Bakugo and Tenya Iida as the villains. For All Might, this was a critical teaching moment. For the students watching, it was high drama.
For Saitama, it was a distant noise. He was just outside the building, having been tasked by a passing teacher with trimming the meticulously sculpted hedges that lined the walkway to Ground Beta. He had been given a pair of oversized hedge clippers and was working with a quiet diligence, finding the repetitive snip-snip-snip rather soothing.
Inside, the battle escalated. Bakugo, driven by a furious obsession with Midoriya, had abandoned all pretense of strategy. He was a force of pure destruction, blasting through walls, ignoring his teammate, his rage making his explosions far more powerful and far less controlled than usual.
"Young Bakugo, stop! Are you trying to kill him?!" All Might yelled into the comms, but it was no use.
Bakugo cornered Midoriya, raising his gauntlet for a massive, stored-up blast. "I'll beat you without killing you, Deku, as long as you stay down!"
He unleashed the AP Shot. A concentrated beam of explosive energy ripped through the floor and several stories below, blowing out a huge section of the building's exterior wall. The entire structure groaned, shaking on its foundations.
In the monitor room, Kirishima yelled, "Whoa! This is getting way too intense!"
All Might gripped his console. "The exercise is over! Both teams—"
But it was too late. The catastrophic damage had compromised the building's integrity. A massive slab of concrete and steel rebar, weighing several tons, tore loose from the ceiling directly above where Uraraka and Iida were stationed near the fake nuclear weapon.
"Look out!" Iida screamed, trying to pull Uraraka away, but they were too close.
Saitama, hedge clippers in hand, felt the ground tremble. He looked up from his perfectly trimmed shrubbery and saw the gaping hole in the side of the building. Then he saw the slab of concrete falling. His eyes followed its trajectory. It was going to land right on the path he'd just swept.
"Oh, come on," he sighed.
He didn't run. He didn't leap. The students watching the monitors saw only a blur. One second, he was by the hedges. The next, he was inside the building, standing beneath the falling rubble, one hand raised.
THOOM.
The sound was not a crash, but a dull, final stop. Like a train hitting a mountain. The slab of concrete, tons of it, came to a dead halt against his single, upturned palm. There was no shockwave. No crater beneath his feet. He didn't even seem to be straining.
Uraraka and Iida, who had squeezed their eyes shut expecting to be crushed, slowly opened them. They looked up to see the impossible: the janitor, holding their certain death at bay with one hand, his expression not heroic or strained, but mildly annoyed.
With his other hand, he gave the slab a light tap. It didn't crack; it simply disintegrated into a cloud of fine, harmless dust that drifted gently to the floor.
He looked at the shocked faces of Midoriya and Bakugo a few floors below.
"Hey," he called out, his voice echoing slightly in the ruined building. "Could you two take it outside? You're making a mess and kicking up a lot of dust. It's an allergen nightmare."
Silence. Complete, total, mind-breaking silence.
All Might, who had been about to sprint to the rescue, stood frozen at the entrance to the building, his heroic smile completely gone, replaced by an expression of pure, unadulterated shock.
The trial was, needless to say, canceled.
Later, after Bakugo had been dragged to the nurse's office and the building had been secured, a deeply troubled Midoriya found Saitama collecting his hedge clippers.
"S-Saitama-san!" Midoriya stammered, bowing deeply. "Thank you! You saved Uraraka-san and Iida-san! That was… I don't even have the words for it! It was incredible! How do you do it? How do you remain so calm and powerful? What's the true secret to being a hero like you?"
Saitama paused, genuinely considering the question. He thought back on his own lonely, frustrating journey. The days of struggling, the pain, the feeling of being left behind. What was the secret?
"Secret?" he finally said, looking at the earnest, star-struck boy. "There's no secret. Just do the work, I guess. The basics are important." He thought for another moment. "Oh, and make sure you eat three meals a day. Bananas are a good source of energy in the morning. And you should always keep an eye out for supermarket discounts. A true hero doesn't waste money."
He patted Midoriya awkwardly on the shoulder and walked away, leaving the boy standing there, his mind racing.
The basics are important... Eat three meals a day... A hero doesn't waste money... Midoriya's eyes lit up with feverish revelation. Of course! It's a metaphor! He means I shouldn't neglect my foundational skills in pursuit of flashy power! I must maintain my physical and mental energy, my 'fuel,' to be ready at all times! And 'not wasting money' means not wasting stamina or movement! Every action must be efficient and purposeful! Saitama-san is... a philosophical genius!
As Saitama turned a corner, heading back toward the staff building, he nearly collided with three senior students. A tall, muscular blonde boy with a cheerful grin seemed to partially phase through his shoulder. A nervous, dark-haired boy with pointed ears flinched back, hiding behind the blonde one. And a girl with stunning, periwinkle hair and wide, curious eyes bounced on her feet, her gaze instantly locking onto him.
It was The Big 3.
"Whoa, sorry there!" Mirio Togata said with a booming, friendly laugh, solidifying just before impact.
"H-He's radiating... intense... apathy..." Tamaki Amajiki whispered to the wall.
But Nejire Hado's curiosity had been captured. Her eyes sparkled like supernovas. She zipped forward, circling Saitama like a hummingbird.
"Hey! You're the new consultant, right? The one with the Reinforcement Quirk? I saw you on the security feed! How did you stop all that concrete? Did you just make your hand super-duper hard? Or did you negate its momentum? How much can you lift? Could you lift All Might? Could you lift the whole school building?! Why is your head so shiny? Is that a side effect of your Quirk? It's so round! Does it reduce wind resistance when you run?! Hey! Hey! Are you listening?!"
The barrage of questions, fired at the speed of a machine gun, washed over Saitama. He just stared at the bubbly, flying, endlessly curious girl, his brain unable to process the sheer volume of input.
Mirio quickly grabbed Nejire by the shoulders, pulling her back. "Nejire, stop! You're going to make his head short-circuit!" He gave Saitama an apologetic grin. "Sorry about her! She just finds everything fascinating! We've gotta run, come on you two!"
He dragged his friends down the hall, leaving Saitama standing alone, the phantom echo of a dozen questions still bouncing around in his skull.
He slowly raised a hand and touched his bald spot.
"This job," he muttered to the empty hallway, "is way more complicated than just cleaning."