"Laxus?" Lucy felt the name ring a bell—like, a lot of bells.
Then it hit her: the Tower of Heaven mess, plus the weird smirks Mira, Erza, and Roger were trying (and failing) to hide. She swallowed hard. A terrible hunch popped into her head.
"L-Laxus… your magic wouldn't happen to be lightning, would it?!" Her voice cracked like a twig.
Laxus raised an eyebrow, kinda surprised. "Yeah. What's up?"
Lucy's mouth dropped into a perfect O, eyes bugging out like she'd seen a ghost. "You're that Laxus?! The Fairy Tail Wizard Saint—'Thunder God' Laxus?!"
He folded his arms, a cocky little smirk tugging at his lips. "Didn't think the great Lucy senpai would know my name. I'm honored."
The words stabbed her right in the heart.
Her vision blurred. Breathing? Optional. A hot wave of pure cringe crashed over her—she wanted to melt into the floorboards and never come back. Not while these four were staring at her like she was the guild's official lovable idiot!!
Erza, sweet as ever, tried to bail her out. "Where's Fried and the others? Weren't they with you on that ten-year job?"
"Yeah," Laxus nodded. "They're back too—just got split up in the crowd. They'll show soon."
"Ten-year job?" Lucy tilted her head, momentarily saved from embarrassment.
Mira smiled. "A ten-year quest is a super-tough request no mage has cleared in a decade. Above S-Class, you've got SS-Class, SSS-Class, then the ten-year ones."
"WHAAAT?!" Lucy's eyes went saucer-wide again. "S-Class is already insane—Laxus finished a ten-year quest?!"
"That's awesome! No wonder they call him the 'Thunder God'—"
"LAXUS!" A guy with green spiky hair and lightning-bolt tips (Fried) shoved through the crowd.
Behind him came a dude in a skintight bodysuit, top half of his face hidden by a funky mask (Bickslow). He waved with a huge grin. "Yo! Long time no see, right, Baby~?"
A bunch of totem-pole-looking wooden dolls floated behind him, chirping in glitchy unison: "Long time~ Long time~"
Bickslow spotted Lucy peeking over and pointed. "Oh! It's the cosplay-loving tsundere carnivore queen!"
The dolls immediately started chanting: "Tsundere! Carnivore! Queen!"
Lucy: "= _ = Is that my reputation outside now?!"
"When it comes to queens, I'm the real deal—Evergreen!" A haughty woman in glasses, fanning herself with a feather fan, stepped out from behind them.
Laxus glanced at Bickslow, confused. "You know the newbie?"
"Of course," Bickslow shrugged. "Evergreen mentioned her, but you were too busy rushing jobs to care."
"Alright!" Roger clapped to grab everyone's attention. "Let's not block the door—the show's about to start. Inside!"
Lucy pointed at the wall of people. "Even if you say that, we can't squeeze through!"
Roger jerked a thumb toward the side. "There's a back door, remember?"
Lucy froze, then smacked her forehead. "Right! I totally forgot!"
Mira grinned wickedly. "Forgetting your own guild's layout? Not exactly setting a good example for the 'newbie,' huh, Lucy senpai~?"
Lucy clasped her hands, begging. "Mira, please stop saying 'senpai'! Have mercy!"
She bolted for the back door like her life depended on it. The others laughed and followed.
Slipping in through the back, the bar area was already packed with everyone.
Kana spotted Laxus and jogged over. "Laxus! You actually made it back?!"
"You cleared a ten-year quest in one year? That's nuts!"
"Eh," Laxus smirked, clapping Fried on the shoulder. "Couldn't have done it without these guys. Good thing we made it for the Harvest Festival."
Kana's grin turned sly. "Perfect! You're joining the show!"
"Me?" Laxus blinked. "I don't even know the story—can I jump in now?"
"Relax!" Kana patted a weird-looking machine. "When it starts, the basic lines and setting get beamed straight into your head. And if anything goes wrong, this baby auto-adjusts on the fly. Super smart!"
"That reliable?" Laxus eyed it suspiciously. "Roger draw this thing?"
A tiny tic mark popped on Kana's forehead. "I—drew—it!"
She checked the time and started handing out special glasses. "Showtime! One pair each—pour your magic in, and boom, you're in the story!"
Everyone slipped on the glasses and channeled magic.
The second the last person activated, a huge crystal screen flickered to life above the guild hall.
On-screen: a girl with long crimson hair and light armor, knocking out push-ups like a beast.
Kana's voice rang out, smooth as a pro narrator:
"Once upon a time, in an ancient castle, lived a beautiful princess."
"Skin white as snow, hair red like blazing fire—thus, she was called… Crimson-Haired Snow White!"
"Born with godlike strength, able to split boulders bare-handed, the people pinned their hopes on her: one day, she'd slay the evil dragon terrorizing the land and free the world."
On-screen, "Snow White" Erza finished her last push-up, hopped up, and wiped imaginary sweat. "One hundred push-ups, sit-ups, squats—done. Just a 10K run left."
She headed for the door—only for Macao and Wakaba (as soldiers, giant floating "SOLDIER" signs above their heads) to march in.
"Your Highness, the King summons you."
"Got it. On my way." Erza followed them deeper into the castle, eyes wide.
The palace was insane—gold and gems everywhere, walls painted with weird murals.
"This is… so real." She could even smell faint spices drifting from the paintings.
Guards (guild members with "SOLDIER" tags) lined the halls.
They reached the throne room. Erza's eyes locked on the two figures—and her pupils shrank.
"MOM?! Why are you here?!"
Mira lounged on the throne in a ridiculous fancy gown, cheek in hand, grinning down like a cat.
"So nice to see you, my dear Snow White~ Or should I say… my precious daaaaughter?"
Next to her, Happy—wearing a golden crown and red cape—stroked a fake mustache, trying to sound kingly. "My beloved daughter, your father is most pleased to see you grown. You are now eighteen. Per ancient prophecy, it is time to take up the dragon-slaying mantle."
"Prophecy?" Erza blinked. That wasn't in the script!
"Let me explain~" Mira cut Happy off, pinching his mouth shut. She rolled her shoulders dramatically. "But Mommy's back is so sore… Could my sweet girl give me a little massage first?"
Veins popped on Erza's forehead. She forced a twitchy smile. "Normally, wouldn't the King explain a kingdom-saving prophecy himself?"
Mira dropped the act, leaning back with a smug grin. "Details, details. Are you really gonna deny your poor mother's tiny request?"
Erza hated this, but Snow White was supposed to be kind and filial. Gritting her teeth, she stepped up and started kneading Mira's shoulders—hard.
"Like. This. Your. Majesty?" Each word hissed through clenched teeth.
"Mmm~ Perfect." Mira closed her eyes, savoring her rival's suffering.
She drawled, super slow: "The prophecy says… a princess with flame-red hair… will gather two ancient hero relics with three companions… and slay the evil dragon~"
The second she finished, Erza yanked her hands back and bolted to her spot.
Mira clutched her chest, fake-hurt. "Don't you wanna spend time with Mommy~?"
Erza's face twisted. She lowered her voice, pained: "Your… affection reminds me of my real mother. Forgive my rudeness, Your Majesty."
Mira's eyes narrowed. Mom card = played out. Bored, she slumped back.
Happy puffed up, seizing the spotlight. "Then go, my daughter! With your… loyal hound, embark on the grand quest to slay the dragon!"
"Hound?" Erza frowned—then heard a familiar "Arf arf!"
A fluffy white pup came bounding in, tail wagging.
"Fluffy?! How—" Erza's brain screamed Kana.
The dog had zero magic. Kana definitely wrote him in.
Erza sighed, saluted. "As you command, Father. I won't fail."
She left with Fluffy.
The second she was gone, Happy dropped the act, flailing. "I'M the king! Why'd Mira steal my lines?! I barely had any!" He crossed his arms, cheeks puffed. "Kana's playing favorites—Fluffy probably has more screen time!!"
Mira cracked an eye. "I'll make you special fish after. Deal?"
"REALLY?!" Happy drooled. "Mira's fish is the best!"
Mira twirled a finger, faint white light dancing. "Huh. Extra power from the script? 'Witch' role's kinda fun."
She flicked a tiny beam into Happy. He froze, eyelids drooping.
"Huh? Why'm I… so sleepy—"
"Because," Mira's voice turned icy-sweet, "I'm a witch plotting to steal the throne, Your Majesty."
"You're going into a nice, permanent nap~"
"WHAT?!" Happy tried to jump—then face-planted, out cold.
"But—my closing lines!"
"That's just the script," Mira tapped his forehead. "Following it's boring. Stories are more fun when you write them."
She smirked. "This machine'll adjust anyway. Why should I, Mirajane, be Erza's side character?"
"The spotlight? You steal it."
"Why'd I get knocked out first…" Happy whimpered, then passed out on the throne.
Mira whispered, "Fish later, promise."
She snapped—a fancy magic mirror appeared.
Staring at her reflection, she scoffed. "Relying on a mirror to feel pretty? Pathetic. Only insecure people do that."
"No way Snow White's prettier. I'm the fairest."
Snap. The mirror shattered, rippling into a watery portal.