Kirizaki Kirie was filled with bitter regret.
Why...?
She despaired, thinking back to the day she'd invited Ryosuke into her room.
Why? How could I...? Why did I even call him "Ryo-kun"?!
The mere recollection made her body flush and her mind burn. The nickname had slipped out unbidden the moment she thought of it.
Every time she mentally savored that name, and every time she recalled how it felt when he called her by her name, a prickling shame surged in her chest—along with a surprising surge of joy.
And then there was—
The memory of that pleasure from that day, which was truly troublesome.
It was unexpected enough to have fallen in love, but to have lost her virginity—and worse, to have been the one thrusting her hips...
(...)
Two days had passed since then.
It felt like both two days and yet not even two days.
The lingering disbelief and the raw ache in her lower abdomen.
Just recalling her voice calling his name and his voice calling hers, Kirie would vividly relive the sensations from that moment.
The smoldering embers that had once flickered within Kirie had now clearly taken full control of her body.
*****
On this day, Kirie was scheduled to meet Ryosuke.
To put it plainly, they had a date.
This would be their first time meeting outside since becoming a couple.
Respecting Kirie's "I'm still embarrassed about it" sentiment, Ryosuke proposed another meet-up style date.
We planned to meet at the same spot we used to go shopping together, then visit the aquarium inside the commercial building.
Kirie had been restless the night before.
I have no idea how to face someone I did that with.
She tossed and turned in bed, but even there, memories of Ryosuke kept surfacing. No, actually, that place only made it worse—
And so, she greeted the morning of the date exhausted.
Nervous the whole time, she got ready and left home.
I mean, I definitely won't see Kazuki...
As she passed her childhood friend's house, she couldn't help but think about it.
No, it wasn't just about Ryosuke. She felt bewildered at the prospect of seeing Kazuki and her other friends too. She wasn't the same person she used to be anymore.
Am I being too self-conscious?
It's nothing, really. Just that I got a boyfriend and had my first time. That's all.
Even as I try to calm my turbulent heart, my feet feel strangely unsteady as I walk.
I feel giddy, as if I've arrived at a point of no return.
That vague sensation lingered.
Did Kazuki feel like this too?
The thought crosses my mind.
It must have been over a month since Kazuki and Aika started dating.
Since even Kirie has already experienced that, those two have probably progressed to some level of intimacy as well.
Kazuki and Shinohara-san...
On the train platform, waiting for the train, their figures suddenly flash through my mind, standing side by side.
The moment it happens, a seething emotion, hot and prickling, floods through my entire body.
It wasn't jealousy.
Nor was it humiliation.
I just couldn't help but imagine it. The two familiar figures—especially one of them, the person I'd longed for so desperately—entwined together, completely naked.
What expressions they must have worn, what sounds they must have made, how they must have moved...
This kind of fantasy would never have occurred to the Kirie of the past. Yet now, for some reason, it surged up with an overwhelming sense of reality.
Ugh... What am I doing, thinking like this in a place like this...?!
Even though no one could see her thoughts, the overwhelming shame made Kirie lower her head.
To distract herself from the embarrassment, she leaped onto the train as it slid into the platform, refusing to sit even though there were empty seats. Instead, she stood near the opposite door, focusing intently on calming her racing mind.
But...
The more Kirie tried to suppress it, the more her vulgar fantasies accelerated.
Kazuki and Aika, both yearning for each other.
Before she knew it, they had been replaced by Kirie and Ryosuke—Kirie watching herself as she connected intimately with Ryosuke in a lewd manner—
"...Ngh..."
Despite the air-conditioned train, the inside of her thighs felt damp and hot. An indecent moisture filled her skirt.
I'm the worst... I'm so pathetic...
Tormented by self-loathing and sweating in shame, Kirie arrived at her destination.
Once again, Ryosuke was already waiting at the meeting place.
The same scenario as before. Ryosuke's cheerful face. He probably hadn't even bothered to think about what expression he should wear when they met—his smile was bright and relaxed.
Meanwhile, Kirie's heart was bruised beyond measure by her terrible fantasies—
"I'm... I'm sorry. I'm late..."
The moment Kirie saw Ryosuke's face, all her previous discomfort vanished, as if it had been completely flipped around.
Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he might notice.
Even her ears felt hot, and her vision seemed to narrow.
"Ugh, feeling sick? Are you okay?"
"N-no, I'm fine—"
She averted her gaze to put on a brave face, but it wasn't very effective.
"Really? Then shall we go?"
Ryosuke casually reached for Kirie's hand, but his fingers brushed the back of her palm instead.
"Ow! W-what are you doing?!"
She yelped, drawing suspicious glances from passing office workers.
In this case, Ryosuke was the one being treated as the suspicious character.
Even he couldn't help but grimace awkwardly.
"Sorry, sorry... Did I go too far again? Ha ha, just pretend I was a little too excited and cut me some slack."
"U-um... I'm sorry."
It was supposed to be our first date, but it started out so awkwardly. And it's all my fault...
*****
The inside of the aquarium was dimly lit.
After the blazing summer sun, it felt like entering a completely different world.
Ryosuke glanced sideways at his "date" walking beside him, her eyes downcast, and inwardly winced.
She's so tense...
Her nervous demeanor was making even him anxious.
Ryosuke had been the one to propose the date, and he'd specifically chosen the aquarium.
To be honest, even he found it a little surprising.
He could have simply invited Kirie back to his place right away.
With other girls he'd had physical relations with, that's exactly what he would have done.
Yet his own restraint puzzled even him.
During summer vacation, Marin is likely to be home, but she's not a hindrance.
In fact, that step-sister might even be happy about Ryosuke and Kirie's relationship, and she might even take the initiative to arrange things for us.
So, I could just push Kirie onto the bed during the day and take what I want—
"W-What?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking how cute my girlfriend is."
"Y-You're not crazy, are you?!"
Watching her reaction isn't half bad—
Putting aside my strange feelings for now, I decide to enjoy this sensation.
The aquarium isn't particularly large, since it's located inside a building.
Ryosuke and Kirie are on summer vacation, but for most people, it's a weekday.
The visitors are mostly groups of teenage girls around their age, or slightly older couples.
They stop in front of a particularly large tank.
In the softly lit tank, the fish sway leisurely, seemingly carefree.
"..."
This was uncharacteristically sentimental for Ryosuke, and he allowed himself to sink deeper into the feeling.
A distant memory suddenly flashed through his mind: the aquarium he had visited as a very young child, taken there by his parents.
But...
Ryosuke didn't know how Kirie was interpreting his silence, but she gently leaned closer to him.
"Um, earlier... I'm really sorry about that."
"Huh?"
For a moment, he genuinely couldn't understand what she meant, but then he remembered the incident at the meeting place.
"Oh, that—"
It's not a big deal.
He was about to say that when Kirie's right hand brushed against the back of his left hand.
It was a light touch, just the slightest graze of their palms.
"I-I don't mean to... reject you or anything."
She seemed to be signaling that she wanted to hold hands.
"You don't have to push yourself so hard."
"It's not pushing myself...! It's not, really. That is... with Ryo-kun, it's different..."
Her cuteness was so overwhelming that I desperately tried to suppress a burst of laughter, straining to keep my expression neutral.
"Kirie, your timing is really..."
"Huh?"
"Never mind. Then, if you'll allow it..."
I took Kirie's hand. It was trembling with unbelievable nervousness, making me want to laugh again.
Instead, I said, "Kirie, you sweat more than I expected."
"W-What?! You jerk! Let go of my hand!"
"No way. You scratched me pretty hard earlier."
"Y-You're such a..."
"Hmm? We're alone. Won't you call me by my name?"
"I won't!"
Kirie tried to shake off his hand with a determined shake, but Ryosuke pulled her along, leading her down the hallway.
*****
"Kirie, what about that trip?"
Ryosuke suddenly asked this in a room lined with tropical fish tanks.
The discomfort of holding hands still lingered, but it no longer felt unpleasant.
"The trip... Oh, that."
It had been before summer vacation.
One of Kirie's classmates had proposed an idea to their group: a two-night, three-day trip. Kirie had been dragged into it through her close female friend, becoming a potential member.
About ten boys and ten girls were being asked to join.
The timing, accommodating members with club activities, was set for late August. The plan was to find cheap lodging, maybe a large communal room, and have a fun, boisterous time.
Incidentally, the official rule was that boys and girls would stay separately, but everyone had to agree to keep up the pretense.
The idea was that it would be easier to get parental permission if the groups were single-gender.
In reality, we planned to separate the rooms by gender anyway, but we'd still be staying at the same inn.
"Ugh, that kind of thing..."
I hate it when people push boundaries too far.
The leaders of each group aren't the type to engage in weird behavior, so I doubt there'll be any trouble in that regard—
But the fact that they're resorting to this "separate by gender" scheme makes me wonder if I can trust them completely.
Besides that...
My conscience twinges uneasily, and the thought of what might happen if something goes wrong terrifies me.
That's not the only problem, either.
The travel plan, which involved other classes as well, listed Kazuki and Shinohara Aika as members of the group.
This is ridiculous.
When Kirie first heard about the trip, she naturally resolved to decline.
But her friend kept persisting, and to make matters worse, Ryosuke was also one of the trip members.
Now, though...
Now that Kirie and Ryosuke were dating, she might actually be able to enjoy it.
Of course, nothing inappropriate would happen.
First and foremost, they wouldn't be alone together. They hadn't made their relationship public yet, so during the trip, they'd have to act like nothing more than classmates.
Even under those constraints, she might still have fun—
Perhaps Kirie was feeling a bit giddy.
"But... I don't have a swimsuit."
Her response was vague, despite having decided to refuse.
"Oh, right. We can go buy one after lunch," Ryosuke said casually, as if it were no big deal.
"Huh?"
"After lunch. We didn't have any plans after lunch, right? Perfect. Let's go swimsuit shopping."
"W-Whose?"
"Yours, Kirie's."
The mischievous glint in Ryosuke's smile made Kirie inwardly scream:
I knew it... I hate this guy!
But she realized there was no escape.