Gu Qianran swept her gaze around the classroom but did not see the lively young girl. She lowered her head and started playing with her phone. Tsk, Bai Ziyuan was missing again. If not for the sparkle in Bai Ziyuan's eyes that remained unchanged, Gu Qianran would have suspected that the girl was avoiding her.
The others silently admired this bold figure who dared to play with her phone in the very first row. None of them even considered interfering. Please, were they blind? Had they not noticed that the top students in the class were either playing with their phones or sleeping? Training! Cultivation! Matters of the immortals could hardly be called "messing with a phone."
June's high school entrance exams were approaching, yet the plot was stubbornly grinding forward. Compared to when Gu Qianran had first crossed into this world, it now felt more and more like a real place. At least the waiters no longer acted like sarcastic NPCs, and the protagonists were no longer tossing around black cards recklessly.
From the corner of her eye, Gu Qianran watched her classmates bicker and laugh. They might not even have names in the book, but in front of Gu Qianran, they were vivid, living individuals, each with their own personality. They carried the half-faded innocence unique to middle schoolers, laughing their way into the beginning of their youth.
Perhaps coming to this world was not such a bad thing after all. Yes, there was a script, a system, a scumbag, and a wicked stepmother. But there were also interesting side characters and a lovable little friend to keep her company. Gu Qianran thought of the way that little friend puffed up her cheeks in anger, cheeks round and full, and could not help laughing.
Just then, a stack of papers poked at her. Gu Qianran turned her head with clear irritation.
"Ji Tang, if you dare hand me another love letter, I'll greet your entire family with the most elegant curse words Zu'an can provide!"
Instead of Ji Tang, she saw the little friend draw back her hand with the stack of papers. Bai Ziyuan's face looked pitiful as she asked in confusion, "Ranran, what's Zu'an language?"
Oh right, Zu'an did not exist in this world. Gu Qianran thought it over and decided she should not corrupt the little friend too much. So she made something up on the spot.
"Emmm… Zu'an means 'blessings of ancestral peace.' I repay grievance with virtue. If I bless Ji Tang with ancestral peace, he will be too embarrassed to bother me again."
Ji Tang, just returning: ???
Gu Qianran looked teasingly at the little friend. "What's this, not avoiding me anymore?"
Bai Ziyuan's cheeks turned red. "I… I wasn't avoiding you, I was just… it's this!" She handed Gu Qianran the stack of papers.
"Debate competition?" Gu Qianran scanned the densely packed words. She knew Bai Ziyuan wanted to be a lawyer, but why come to her for help? Was it just because Gu Qianran scored two points higher in politics? But politics being good, was that really of any use in a debate?
Bai Ziyuan, not noticing Gu Qianran's doubt, spoke with sparkling eyes and lively confidence.
"…So this competition will be my first step toward becoming a famous lawyer! Ran Ran, please help me!"
As she spoke, Bai Ziyuan looked pitifully up at her, tugging at Gu Qianran's sleeve over and over. It had to be said: Bai Ziyuan's pleading expression was devastating. For someone like Gu Qianran, who softened under gentleness but stiffened under force, Bai Ziyuan had her completely wrapped around her little finger.
Gu Qianran sighed, her tone resigned. "And how exactly can I help you? By applying Marxism-Leninism to raise the argument to the highest level?"
Bai Ziyuan shook her head furiously. "No! Ranran, it's a three-person team debate. Join my debate team! I even thought of the team name. We'll be called Gu-Bai!"
Gu Qianran was amused by this childlike enthusiasm. Gu-Bai? Did Bai Ziyuan truly want the opposing team to say goodbye to them? Still, the request was not unreasonable. With Gu Qianran's past experience in the corporate world, verbally sparring with rooms full of sharp tongues, she should be able to help her little friend secure a dazzling victory.
"All right, I'll agree. But if it's a three-person team, who's the last member?"
Even as she asked, Gu Qianran had a sinking feeling. Sure enough, she turned her head to see Ji Tang raising his hand.
"Me."
Bai Ziyuan puffed up her chest proudly. "It's fine, Ran Ran, just leave it to me. I'll carry us!"
Gu Qianran nearly laughed and cried at the same time. Still, seeing Bai Ziyuan so confident, she offered encouragement.
"Then we'll count on you to carry us. We'll just relax and win." Her words unconsciously carried a gentle indulgence.
As for formal debates, Gu Qianran had no real understanding. She thought it might just be a round of bullying weaker opponents, but with her scientific rigor, she went to look up the details anyway.
The competition had five stages: group rounds, quarterfinals, semifinals, and the finals. The final stage was impromptu debate: no research phase, random topics, and instant arguments.
Interesting. Gu Qianran's fingers itched as she scanned the rules. Back in university, she had hung out with her roommates and picked up all kinds of online games. During that time she had also mastered the art of rapid-fire, sharp-edged language—without ever resorting to actual curses. Was her long-dormant Zu'an skillset finally about to shine again? She felt a little thrill of excitement.
The group rounds and quarterfinals were trivial. Bai Ziyuan had worked hard, diligently gathering information and practicing until her voice went hoarse. She dragged along Gu Qianran, the bystander, and Ji Tang, the useless baggage, all the way into the semifinals.
The topic was "Trends." It was broad, with layers of meaning. Too many ambiguities made it difficult to judge as inherently good or bad. In other words, both sides had plenty of angles. If argued well, it could become a wonderful debate.
But how well could middle school students argue? Gu Qianran, wanting to train Bai Ziyuan, only stepped in occasionally to fill gaps. Ji Tang, lost in his own world, remained quiet throughout. They were the negative side in this round, which was advantageous—just counter whatever the other side said.
After several rounds, the opposing team grew anxious. One boy, his face flushed, blurted out in haste:
"Trends must be good! If something is not good, not in line with human aesthetics, how could it ever become a trend? Popular celebrities, advanced electronics, fashionable stationery brands—these things rise above the rest in their industries. They have unique strengths, which is why they trend!"
It sounded convincing, logical, and almost irrefutable. Yet the flaws were glaring. His first sentence was absolute, and any absolute statement was flawed. Unfortunately, Bai Ziyuan froze, unable to respond, and the team's momentum faltered.
Just as Gu Qianran hesitated over whether to whisper a reminder, the quiet Ji Tang finally spoke up.
"If all trends are good, then what about the flu? Do you enjoy catching the flu?"
One sentence, and the entire room fell silent.
===
The term "Zu'an" comes directly from the video game League of Legends. In the game's lore, Zaun (translated as 祖安 Zǔ'ān in Chinese) is a chaotic, polluted, underground city known for its mad scientists, chem-barons, and a general culture of ruthless innovation and survival. It's a grim, cutthroat place.
Chinese players on the game's servers, particularly the "祖安" server, became infamous for their particularly vicious and creative trash-talking. The server's reputation grew to the point that "being from Zu'an" became a meme synonymous with being a master of insults. Thus, the style of trash talk born there was dubbed "Zu'an language."
Zu'an language is not just about being mean; it's an art form with its own unwritten rules:
The goal is to be clever and witty, not just to use strong swear words. Direct, vulgar profanity is considered low-skill and boring ("无能狂怒" Wúnéng kuángnù - impotent rage). The best Zu'an insults use puns, homophones, metaphors, and rhyme schemes. They often sound like catchy, brutal little poems or raps. They frequently reference classic literature, history, memes, current events, and other games to make the insult more layered and surprising.
A major driver of its creativity is the need to bypass strict Chinese internet censorship and automated profanity filters on platforms. By avoiding direct swear words and using coded language, these insults can survive longer before being deleted. In its "ideal" form, Zu'an language is meant to mock an opponent's in-game performance or intelligence, not their family, race, or other inherent traits (though this rule is often broken in the heat of the moment).
Example 1: The Classic
Insult: "你爹今晚必在亭子里面跳广场舞必被人搂腰" (Nǐ diē jīnwǎn bì zài tíngzi lǐmiàn tiào guǎngchǎng wǔ bì bèi rén lǒu yāo)
Literal Translation: "Your father tonight will surely be doing square-dancing in the pavilion and will surely have his waist grabbed by someone."
Meaning: This is a multi-layered insult. It implies their father is old (square-dancing is for retirees), frivolous, and, most humorously, that he will be the female partner in the dance (the one whose waist is held), implying emasculation. The use of "必" (bì - surely) is a very common Zu'an structure.
Example 2: The Rhyming Insult
Insult: "你打字这么慢,是坟头信号不好吗?" (Nǐ dǎzì zhème màn, shì féntóu xìnhào bù hǎo ma?)
Literal Translation: "You type so slowly, is the cell service bad on top of your grave?"
Meaning: A witty way to say "Just die already." It rhymes ("慢 màn" and "吗 ma") and uses a darkly humorous metaphor.
Example 3: The "Censorship-Bypassing" Insult
Instead of directly writing "傻逼" (shǎ bī - stupid cunt), a user might write:
Insult: "你是什么品种,怎么这么凶?" (Nǐ shì shénme pǐnzhǒng, zěnme zhème xiōng?)
Literal Translation: "What breed are you? Why are you so fierce?"
Meaning: This is a sarcastic way of calling someone without using any filter-triggering words.