"Oi, what are you lot doing? Lunch break's over!" a teacher's voice hollered from not too far away.
The three boys, who normally thought of the teacher as a proper old sourpuss, suddenly thought he sounded as sweet as a treacle tart. They were just about to slip away when...
"Hmmph?"
But Dudley let out a low growl, and the three of them froze on the spot as if they'd been Sticking Charmed to the ground. They couldn't move an inch.
You'd be barmy to try and move without Dudley's say-so.
"You'll be here in three days to pay up what you owe us, and don't let me catch you bullying anyone again."
"Now shove off."
Hearing Dudley's command, the three of them looked like they'd just been released from a full-body bind. They scrambled away faster than a Golden Snitch and vanished from sight.
"Oh, it's you, Dudley," the teacher said, walking over. His face broke into a wide, beaming smile when he saw who it was.
To the other students, Dudley was a monster, but to the teachers, he was a different sort of beast entirely.
The reason was simple enough.
Dudley's grades were spectacular, top of the class every single year, with near-perfect scores in every subject. He was the very model of a star pupil. To put it in magical terms, his report card would look something like this: Academics - O (Outstanding), PE - O (Outstanding), Growth - O (Outstanding), even his build - O (Outstanding).
What's more, Dudley loved a good competition, and every time he entered a tournament, he'd bring home a gold medal for the school.
The trophy cabinet was so crammed with his awards, there was no room left for a single butterbeer cap.
So, what do you reckon? Did the teachers adore him or what?
After a quick chat, the teacher was on his way.
It left only Harry and Dudley.
"Dudley... I'm sorry... I couldn't protect your lunch," Harry stammered, as if gathering all his courage to say it.
Dudley frowned again. "What are you supposed to call me?"
All of Harry's newfound courage vanished like a spell. "S-sorry, Big D."
Big D was a nickname only his closest mates were allowed to use.
"Harry, you really don't have to be so scared of me, you know."
"Right, Big D."
That sort of conversation always left Dudley speechless. He'd swear on a wizard's spellbook he'd never so much as pinched Harry since he'd arrived in this world, so Merlin only knew why Harry was so terrified of him.
I'm a perfectly easy-going fellow, I am.
And it was true, he hadn't bullied Harry. It was just that every time he was giving some other bloke a proper thrashing, Harry just so happened to be there, and Dudley's brutish side had left a rather deep impression on the boy's mind.
After a few simple words, he sent Harry back to the classroom while he found a quiet spot to check on his new prize.
You see, Dudley wasn't from this world at all.
His name was now Dudley Dursley, cousin to the famous Harry Potter, a plot device, a bloke who'd be lucky to be considered a villain, let alone a proper one. What's more, he was a genuine, bonafide Muggle, according to the author himself, a man destined to never touch a lick of magic. If some miracle didn't happen, Dudley would never, not for the rest of his life, be able to cast so much as a single cantrip.
As the old saying goes, "Every cloud has a silver lining." But when fate closes one door, it always opens a window.
Suppressing the excitement bubbling up inside him, Dudley pushed open "that window."
A few mysterious, gilded letters slowly appeared before Dudley's eyes.
This was something only Dudley could see, his very own, one-of-a-kind "golden finger."
The 'Wizard-in-Training System,' which, as the name suggests, was a system meant to train a wizard.
"Rescuing the young Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, rewards you with one Physical Attribute Draw!"
"Would you like to draw now?"
Dudley stared at the glowing words that had popped up before him.
He rubbed his hands together with a bit of force, then scurried off to the school lavatory to wash them clean. When you're drawing for something, you've got to wash away all the bad luck and let the good fortune in, right? It's the only way to get the big prize. He'd landed in the magical world, so he figured he might as well believe in a bit of hocus-pocus.
The moment Dudley hit the 'Draw' button, an old-fashioned slot machine appeared before him, its three reels spinning like a madman's potion. Whether it was for show or not, the theatrics were certainly enough.
With the pull of the lever, the pictures on the screen began to tumble. Dudley couldn't do a thing but wait patiently for the result.
He thought back to the last time he'd tried his luck.
Last time, he'd drawn JoJo's Bizarre Adventure—Hamon breathing.
It was a unique training method where, by using a special breathing technique, you could control your body, greatly increasing your physical strength. With fine-tuned control, you could achieve all sorts of different effects, and if you trained long enough, you could even push past human limits and resist aging.
At the time, Dudley was completely stumped as to why a "Wizard-in-Training System" would give him something like this.
The system's explanation was: "A strong body is a fundamental requirement for any spell-caster."
It made perfect sense, so he accepted it.
Ever since then, Dudley had been practicing his Hamon breathing every single day, which was how he'd gotten so beefy.
"But listen here, old chap, Dudley wants to learn magic."
There wasn't a soul who didn't fancy magic. Compared to just working out your body, the incredible wonders of spellcraft were far more captivating.
Just as Dudley was thinking this, the slot machine slowly came to a stop, revealing the series of his new prize.
"TYPE-MOON - FATE"
"Holy Grail War - The Three Noble Families..."
A few more words popped up from the machine.
Seeing those words, Dudley's eyebrow shot up. This had to be magic now, right? While the people in that world usually called spells "thaumaturgy" and their casters "Magi," at least it was magic. Even a Magus could at least conjure a decent fire-ball, couldn't they?
As Dudley waited with bated breath, a picture appeared before him.
It was a boy with hair like blue seaweed, a leering grin plastered on his face as his hand rested on the thigh of a red-robed girl with twin pigtails. A rather unsavoury scene from that Fate/stay night tale.
"Congratulations! You have received: The Shinji Matou Magus Constitution."
Shinji Matou, the eldest son of the Matou family, a family of Magi. As a boy, he'd wanted nothing more than to become a Magus, only to find out as he grew older that his wish was impossible. He just didn't have the magical talent. Because of it, he took out his rage on his adopted younger sister, Sakura, doing a number of things that would make a Dementor shiver with disgust.
Another bloke, just like Dudley Dursley, who was nothing more than a detestable plot device. Although, on a scale of 'rotten git,' Dudley was nowhere near as bad as he was.
The only good thing you could say about him was that he had decent grades and was the vice-captain of his school's archery club. Because of that, Dudley had gained a new ability: Archery LV1.
Even Dudley, who'd been practicing his Hamon for years and could stay calm in most situations, couldn't keep his face from falling. He just let out a stream of curses.
"Shinji Matou's Magus Constitution? You've got to be joking!"
"Does Shinji Matou look like a Magus to you? He's not just a bit off, he's a hundred thousand miles away from being one!"
"What can you even do, Shinji Matou? Do you even deserve the name Magus?"