Lan glared at the glowing blue panel only he could see.
Stats...
Strength: 15
Speed: 13
Defense: 8
Intelligence: 50
Available Points: 50
And that last line at the bottom, the one that stung like lemon juice in a paper cut:
[Note: The average adult has a base of 20 in each stat. At the moment, host is only slightly stronger than a chicken. Congratulations!]
Lan's tiny face twitched.
"…Bitch," he muttered, though what came out was a bubbly gurgle.
To the nobles, it was adorable. They cooed and chuckled, mistaking his fury for baby cuteness.
His father cleared his throat proudly. "My son… truly has spirit."
If only they knew the torments little Lan was passing through.
******
"Fine, fine… maybe I am a chicken," Lan thought, rolling his eyes at the glowing screen. "But at least my intelligence is off the charts, sadist system."
He giggled to himself.
To the crowd, it was another precious baby laugh.
"Awwwn, how adorable!"
"It seems the young master is happy with us."
"So energetic already!"
"Energetic your ass…" Lan grumbled inwardly. "Why do they—argh, forget it."
His eyes flicked back to the stats window. Fifty unspent points shimmered invitingly.
"Muahahahaha," he giggled darkly. "At least I have 50 free points. Now I can finally make this cursed system useful."
The nobles melted at his laugh, their hearts pierced by his "innocence."
If only they knew he was plotting baby-world domination.
Lan tapped a single point into Strength.
Strength:15— 16
Instantly, his pudgy fingers clenched. His mother winced.
"Lan, gentle!" she said with a soft laugh, prying his hand off her sleeve. To her surprise, a fresh tear ran across the silk.
Lan's baby brain froze.
"Oh crap. Oh crap. I almost shredded noble robes with one point?!"
The system Reminder came just in time.
[Reminder: The host's body is currently that of an infant. Reckless point allocation may cause… accidents.]
Accidents?! What kind of accidents—crushed rattles? Fatal headbutts? Exploding diapers?
Curiosity got the better of him. He tried Speed.
Speed: 13—14
His legs kicked so violently that he launched himself out of his mother's arms. A maid darted forward and caught him just in time.
The hall roared with laughter. The guest amused. Where have they seen such a lively baby before.
"Hahaha! Look at him squirm!"
"So lively! Just like his father!"
Lan buried his face in his hands.
"No, not lively. Overclocked. This isn't a baby—it's a biological weapon!"
Still, something good had come from unlocking the system. Lan tilted his head at the glowing panel.
"…Wait. If I can see my own stats now… maybe I can see others too?"
His baby eyes wandered across the hall—from the old geezers with their sagging jowls, to their radiant young wives sparkling with jewels, to the young prince seated proudly at the high table.
"Hmm, so many specimens here… heheheheh…"
The nobles gasped as he giggled.
"How adorable!"
"The young master seems happy with his ceremony "
"Truly blessed , the duke family shall have another protector!"
Lan almost choked. "Specimens, you fools! Specimens! Ah, forget it."
He focused. The system responded.
Stat..
Target: Duchess Aurelius
Strength: 38
Speed: 42
Defense: 35
Intelligence: 210
Skills: [Healing Touch], [Charm Aura], [Mystic Ward]
Lan's jaw went slack.
"Two hundred and ten intelligence?! That's not a stat, that's an AI supercomputer."
No wonder she always demolished Father in arguments. She was a walking library.
Next his eyes wondered to his father as a terrifying stats appeared.
Lan felt his baby heart skip a beat.
Target: Duke Aurelius
Strength: 345,000
Speed: 312,000
Defense: 400,000
Intelligence: 150
Skills: [Sword Saint's Domain], [Dragon Bloodline Resonance], [Crimson War Aura]
Lan's tiny body stiffened.
"Four hundred thousand defense , wtf , can he tank a nuclear warhead ... sigh and then again , here I am… stronger than a chicken, well Barely."
Lan felt his little heart couldn't take. Comparison after all is sometime toxic. To feel better cough... For balance, he checked a random noble: a greasy-haired viscount in gaudy robes.
Target: Viscount Nobody
Strength: 9
Speed: 7
Defense: 6
Intelligence: 22
Seeing this brought a relief to Lan as he giggled out loud.
"Soggy bread-tier stats. Average adult my butt. I could peck this guy into submission."
Finally, he peeked at his sister.
Target: Aurelia Aurelius (Age: 8)
Strength: 21
Speed: 25
Defense: 20
Intelligence: 70
Hidden Trait: [Awakening Suppressed]
Lan's eyes widened. "Hidden trait? Awakening suppressed? She's… sealed? Or holding back?"
The system replied.
[Certain truths are best discovered in time, Host.]
Lan glared. "Don't play riddles with me, you perverted system "
*********
Time flew as the naming ceremony slowly shifted into a banquet. Nobles toasted the duke, generals traded war stories, and servants marched in with roasted meats.
Lan sat in his mother's lap, mentally playing with point distributions like a Wall Street broker.
"All into Strength? Ah I would be a muscular baby. one sneeze might snap necks"..., Lan thought with a smile but when he imagined how he looked he felt cold as he shook his head. He is after all going to be known as a pervert...imagine him being muscular..
" ah muscular pervert "..., lan felt embarrassed.
" Okay what if i put All into Intelligence? Baby Einstein, cough still trapped in diapers"..., the imagination wasn't too beautiful. I mean him with glasses ready and ready while feeding from his mom. Cough..
Oh imagine him chatting with those old men.
" aaaah..".., lan felt chill on his back, remembering those olf geezers look of walking treasure lan gulped hard.
"Speed? Defense? Ugh, min-maxing in a crib is suffering."
To the crowd, his frown looked like deep thought.
"Oh, look at him—so pensive!"
"Already a thinker, like his mother."
Lan wanted to vomit. "I'm not pondering life. , you degenerates, am trying to create a path for myself , cough. Now one can share my burden "..
Lan wanted to cry again as his eyes welled up with tears. Just as lan was being sorrowful the system chimed in
[Ding!]
Lan's soul trembled.
"Oh no. Not again."
[New Mission: Bite three beautiful women.]
[Reward: Unlock Skills Tab.]
Lan went pale. "Bite?! Are you insane?! You want me to crawl around like a demon, chomping noblewomen?!"
He imagined it: teethless gums gnawing jeweled wrists, the Duke fainting, the kingdom branding him 'Goat Spawn.'
The system hummed.
[Host, missions build character.]
"They build arrest warrants, you sadist!"
He covered his face in despair. The crowd thought he was playing peek-a-boo.
"Adorable!"
"So shy!"
"Our little pervert hides his face!"
Lan muttered, "…I'm doomed."
The hall erupted in cheers for his "playfulness."
As lan was thinking of how to complete this ridiculous mission , Trumpets sounded as the chatter stilled.
From the high table, a small figure hopped down—barely older than Lan's sister. The eldest prince of the realm, dressed in miniature royal garb, strode forward with all the pomp of a seasoned general.
He bowed to Duke Aurelius. "Your Grace. Congratulations on the naming of your son."
The duke smiled, his voice booming. "Your Highness honors us with his presence."
The boy's eyes slid toward Lan. He walked up, peering at the baby with curious intensity. For a long moment, the hall held its breath.
Then he smiled.
"Lancaster Aurelius… you're funny."
Lan blinked. "…Huh?"
The prince chuckled. "You laughed at me earlier. I like you."
He reached out, poking Lan's cheek. Lan instinctively slapped his pudgy hand against the prince's finger.
The hall gasped then burst into applause.
The prince laughed brightly. "Good! Strong spirit! From today, you are my sworn brother!"
The nobles roared their approval. "Marvelous!"
"Such camaraderie at a young age!"
"The bond between prince and duke's son shall be legendary!"
Lan's baby brain blanked.
"…Ehn? I have… an older brother now?"
He stared at the grinning prince, his baby eyes twitching.
The system dinged softly.
[Congratulations. Relationship formed: Sworn Brother.]
Lan's soul whispered into the void.
"Why does this keep happening to me…"