At first, it always came like the wind. It blew dust into the eyes of people who didn't see it coming.
Then it came like a trick. Like when you bend down to pick up a hundred-dollar bill, but the wind lifts it and carries it away; through the bun shop, across the highway, and into the abandoned flower pot at Stan-Hedge High School.
And every time Stephanie Porter found herself here, she thought the same thing: if only I had more time to grab it.
The wind pushed against her now, hard and heavy, making her hair whipped behind her. Her weak body swayed like it might break apart. She didn't fight it. She liked this part; the part where she let the wind carry her closer to the end.
It was always the same: first Hayden, then her. Fate never accepted it when she said "no." Not to the wrong thing. Not to the right thing. Fate never cared.
She laughed quietly.
All her life, she had chosen the wrong path, the wrong words, the wrong choices. But the one time she tried to do the right thing; it was still called wrong. Maybe that was her curse.
"Get down, Stephanie."
Her eyes widened. She had been sure she was alone. But she knew that voice. She could never mistake it.
He was part of the reason she was bleeding everywhere. Her skin, her bones, even inside her chest, it all felt broken. If she was still alive, it wasn't because of strength.
It was because of the effect of the drug she had taken earlier. She had taken it because she knew what the students planned for her. They wanted her to die slowly, in pain, under their hands.
But she had decided: she would not give them that.
"Go away, Kai," she whispered, her breath barely leaving her lips. "Isn't this what you wanted? Me, gone… just like Hayden?"
At Hayden's name, Kai stomped the ground. His jaw was clenched so hard she could hear his teeth grinding. If not for that, he would have screamed.
"Just move away from the edge. You don't have to end it like this."
Stephanie stepped closer to the edge. The ground spun far below. It made her head grow lighter and her vision fuzzed.
She shut her eyes nonetheless. And when she leaned forward, letting her body fall, something held her back.
"What do you think you're doing?!" His voice was full of panic. Yet she had seen the bat waiting by the corner, ready for her skull.
"Let go." Her feet kicked uselessly, like a child throwing a tantrum.
But he refused, his grip tightened around her waist. "You think I'll let you die on your own terms? After you killed my best friend? No! I deserve to watch you suffer. I deserve to know you died by my hands."
"You're… messed up in the head," she choked, coughing until she couldn't breathe.
Kai's arms locked tighter around her waist, crushing her body against his. At first, she kicked and twisted, but soon the pain was too much. His grip wasn't saving her, it was killing her.
Her ribs screamed under the pressure. The fragile bones she had left had already bent where they should not bend. She felt something shift inside her chest. Then came the taste of blood in her throat. She coughed, and the red spilled from her lips.
The numbing effect of the drug was going. She could feel a bit of pain rushing in like flood. She knew then, with clarity: she didn't want to die like this. Not strangled by his anger.
So she made a choice.
She went still, letting her hands drop uselessly to her sides and her head dropping forehead.
Kai froze. For a heartbeat, the thought of she being dead made his breath hitch. His grip shifted, trying to pull her upward. He wanted to see her face, to make sure.
Maybe he wanted to curse her one last time. Maybe a small part of him was afraid she had really slipped away.
With the last of her strength, Stephanie's teeth sank deep into his arm, letting the taste of his blood join hers.
Kai screamed as he jerked back in shock, releasing her. But not before losing his balance; his hand caught hold of iron railing even though it was slicing his palm open.
For a heartbeat, everything slowed.
Stephanie felt herself falling. The wind moved past her ears in slow motion. She landed on the last floor with a heavy thud. She didn't know if Kai had fallen too. She only knew he wasn't meant to die.
But the pain in her broken limbs were full and loud. It swallowed all other thoughts.
Blood spilled from her lips, and her eyes remained locked on the open sky as she waited for death that refused to take her quickly. It held her there, suffering, her heart still beating when she wished it would stop.
Finally, she closed her eyes and slept off.
Then there was absolute silence.
It felt like she was floating in a void. There was no weight, no time, no thoughts. She could not tell if she was moving, but she knew this was the place between; she had been here before.
A small light appeared not too far from where she was. And she followed the light.
Again... So this is how it begins...