Ben didn't want to go back with Daniel, not after everything that happened yesterday. He needed space to sort out what he was feeling and put a cap on the desires that gnawed at him relentlessly. He clenched his fist and was about to make a run for it.
But, tough luck, Daniel caught him.
His eyes were wide with confusion and hurt. "Ben, do you really need to blow me off like that?"
Ben's heart stopped. This wasn't a playful accusation. Daniel looked genuinely upset.
Damn, being in love sucks, Ben thought, swallowing hard. He couldn't stand seeing him like this.
He forced a breath out, trying to steady himself. "I didn't mean to. But right now, I just need some time–"
Daniel cut him off, his voice thick with confusion. "You dropped that whole thing yesterday. About liking me, desiring me." He flailed a bit before looking down. "You said you weren't happy with just being friends, and then you walked out. And now you're acting like… like I messed up somehow. So what is it, Ben? You don't wanna be friends anymore?"
Ben blinked. This was worse than rejection. Daniel didn't even understand that Ben had confessed.
A thick and suffocating silence fell between them.
"Hyung," Ben murmured, his voice quieter than he intended, "Let's walk."
Daniel blinked. "Okay."
They began walking towards their usual route. Their footsteps were the only sound in the quiet night. The streets were empty, peaceful even. The exact opposite of the storm raging inside Ben.
Ben hated talking about emotions. He was no good at it. But he had to make Daniel understand. He sucked in a breath, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Why did you think I wanted to end our friendship?" Ben asked after a long pause, his voice strained, like every word was fighting its way out.
Daniel gave him a helpless look. "Because of what you said. I must've misunderstood something, right?"
Ben sighed. "You didn't misunderstand."
Daniel blinked.
Ben hesitated, "Can we keep a little distance? I just need some time to sort things out."
Daniel's smile dropped completely. "Ben, what's going on?"
Ben gave a hollow chuckle, "You seriously don't get it, do you?"
Daniel looked startled.
Ben's head dropped back, his frustration bubbling up. He felt the words tumble out before he could stop them, "Do you not know how people look at you? How they–how they want you? Are you really that clueless?"
Daniel stopped in his tracks, and Ben nearly crashed into him. He looked at Ben, eyes wide and confused. "Uh– isn't it just that they praise me?"
Ben stared at him like he had just said the most absurd thing in the world. Ben knew that Daniel wasn't being arrogant; he was simply stating the truth as he saw it. But it was baffling, seeing how utterly unaware Daniel was.
Ben took a deep breath, forcing the frustration down as best as he could. He had to really lay it out plain for Daniel to fully grasp it.
"Hyung," he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "I want to date you."
Daniel froze, his expression falling into a deeper confusion. Ben tried not to lose his nerve, even as the words felt heavy in his mouth. "Please don't tell me you don't get it. You thought Mika and I dated, right?"
Daniel's mouth opened, but no words came out. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Y-you want to date me?"
The silence that followed made Ben's heart ache. But for better or for worse, he had to say it out loud for this oblivious menace to understand.
"Yeah," Ben said, a little more firmly this time. "I don't want to be just your friend. I want more than that."
Daniel's face flickered between confusion and uncertainty. Ben let the silence hang for a moment, letting Daniel process it.
Ben spoke again, his voice quieter this time. "That's why I need some time away. Being near you just makes everything harder to handle."
Daniel stared at him, dumbstruck.
Ben couldn't hold back the hurt that seeped through. A straight rejection would've been easier. He had prepared his heart for that. But having his feelings brushed aside, unseen, left a bitter knot in his chest.
"I don't want to mess this up," Ben continued, his voice breaking slightly. "I don't wanna lose you. I just… need a little time to get my head straight."
Ben turned away before he could say anything else. His heart was heavy, like it was made of lead. Every step he took felt like he was sinking deeper. But he couldn't stay when everything was so messed up. He walked away, the distance between them growing, but the weight in his chest only grew heavier.
Daniel quietly watched Ben walk away. For a second, he looked like he might follow, but he hesitated and watched his back as it went further and further away.