"Great, great! Wangsheng Funeral Parlor just loves clients like you—big customers."
"Come, come, since I'm right here, why don't you tell me what this big business is?"
The moment she heard "big business," Hu Tao perked up immediately.
In the past, things that could be called "big business" were few and far between.
And the man before her… clearly a major client.
How rude of her! Just now she'd misunderstood him. That was simply inexcusable.
"Here, here, honored guest, have some tea."
Hu Tao casually grabbed the cup of tea Zhongli had just poured—still untouched—and pressed it into Taro's hands.
That left Zhongli's hand frozen in midair, his intended tea vanished, leaving him silent and speechless.
…Fine. He'd just pour another.
"Thanks~"
Noticing Zhongli's stiff expression, the smile on Taro's face grew brighter.
See? A smile never disappears. It just changes targets.
"Is the tea good?" Hu Tao asked, smiling sweetly.
"Mhm. The flavor's really not bad." Taro nodded.
"Glad you like it~" Hu Tao rubbed her hands together, leaning forward eagerly.
"So, guest, can you tell me now—what's this big business?"
"Don't worry, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is absolutely professional. Once you place an order here, no matter the danger, no matter where it is, Wangsheng will always fulfill the contract. We'll bring our honored clients safely to rest, sending them peacefully to the afterlife."
"This golden nameplate of Wangsheng? Oh, it shines across the land."
"And right now, we're even offering discounts! One order—10% off. Two orders—30% off. Three orders—half price, and we'll throw in an extra for free. The more you buy, the more you get. Opportunities like this don't come twice!"
This kid really did know how to do business.
But discounts this steep? That was basically a money-losing deal, wasn't it?
Taro's expression turned slightly odd.
"Ahem."
Zhongli coughed lightly, cutting through Hu Tao's sales pitch.
"Hall Master, you seem to have misunderstood. The matter between Taro and I has nothing to do with funerals."
"Eh?"
Hu Tao blinked, puffing out her cheeks as she glared at Zhongli.
"What, Zhongli? You're my guest consultant, aren't you?"
"And you're doing business without thinking of your own parlor first—outsourcing it elsewhere? Some consultant you are! Unqualified, utterly unqualified!!"
"..."
Zhongli had no words to refute her.
But the truth of resurrection… that couldn't be spoken so lightly to Hu Tao.
She had her own views about the cycle of life and death.
This reversal of yin and yang would only earn him a lecture.
Better to keep quiet.
"Hu Tao."
Taro looked at the fuming girl, smiling.
"Although my business with Zhongli might not involve Wangsheng Parlor for now, I do plan to place a few orders with you."
"Of course, not for myself. Mainly, I'm worried that if some fool dies by my hand, it might not be clear who did it. So I figured I'd just go ahead and order in advance, to save trouble later."
"So, Hu Tao—will you take that kind of order?"
"Of course I will! Why wouldn't I?"
Hu Tao slammed her palm down, smile springing back onto her face.
"As long as you dare to place the order, I'll dare to take it. Doesn't matter who the target is."
"Granted, if it's cross-nation work, it's a little tricky. Wangsheng hasn't opened branches in other nations yet. But that doesn't mean it can't be done. You just place the order, and leave the rest to me!"
"And, guest, really, shouldn't you place one for yourself too? From the way you sound, your line of work is pretty dangerous. What if something happened to you? Someone's gotta tidy up your affairs, right?"
"..."
At that, Zhongli gave Taro a sidelong look, faintly amused, as though anticipating his response.
But what he wanted to see… he wasn't going to get.
"An order for myself, huh?"
Taro stroked his chin, nodding seriously.
"Not a bad idea. I'll place two right away, and they need to be handled immediately. Cenotaphs will do—just consider it a farewell to my past."
"And I want the very highest standard Wangsheng can provide. Can you do that?"
The words stunned Zhongli.
Who in the world orders funerals for themselves while they're still alive?
…Oh, right. Him.
After all, his original plan was to fake his own death at the Rite of Descension. Of course he'd need a grand "send-off."
So the good man was me all along?
Well then. That made sense.
But to think Taro would be this kind of person too…
"Guest..."
Hu Tao's plum-blossom eyes blinked, baffled.
"Wait, guest, are you saying you want funerals for yourself—while still alive?"
"Is there a problem with that?"
Taro smiled. "I may look alive and well, but truth is—I've already died twice."
Two worlds. Two past lives. Both ended in death.
He wasn't lying.
Holding two funerals as a way of saying goodbye to the past was perfectly reasonable.
"Hiss… so you've already died twice?"
"Unbelievable. How careless of me."
Hu Tao pressed a finger to her chin, face growing serious.
"To arrange funerals for someone who's died and come back—twice—this is unprecedented in Wangsheng history."
"Could it be I'll have to start a new chapter here at my parlor?"
A funeral for a living man. That, Wangsheng had never handled before.
And without question, it was a blind spot in her professional field.
For a moment, she didn't even know how to respond.
"Just handle it like a regular funeral."
Taro sipped his tea calmly.
"Two ceremonies."
"This..."
Hu Tao's delicate face scrunched up, clearly torn.
This didn't fit the rites, nor the laws.
The ancestors never said how to handle a situation like this.
Tricky. Very tricky.
Normally, she was the one making others struggle.
But today? A client had her stumped.
The world really had flipped upside down.
No. She couldn't back down here.
"Done!"
Hu Tao slapped her thigh, as if making a grand vow.
"I'll take the orders! Two cenotaphs, right?"
"Tell me your birth dates and hours. I'll see the ceremonies are flawless."
Rules could be adapted.
Wangsheng had walked through history step by step this way.
Today, she'd blaze a new trail, and give future generations something to marvel at.
"Birth dates, huh..."
Taro fell silent.
How was he supposed to explain that?
Two worlds, two calendars—completely different.
Forget it. He'd just give his ages. Let the professional handle the rest.
"The first one… nineteen years and three months. The second, twenty-nine."
"That's all I can recall."
"One nineteen, one twenty-nine..."
Hu Tao scribbled quickly in her little notebook.
"If you can't recall the exact date, no problem. Just the year will do. I'll handle the rest."
"Forgot," Taro said flatly.
"Wait, what? You actually forgot?"
Hu Tao froze, staring wide-eyed.
Only the ages? How was she supposed to calculate from that?
Wasn't this deliberately making things hard for her?
"I really don't remember," Taro said helplessly.
Thud.
The brush slipped from Hu Tao's hand.
She gawked at Taro.
Was he truly a customer—
or here just to mess with her?
(End of Chapter)
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