The legendary journey of my life began, as most epics do, with me slipping in the bathroom.
One second I was checking memes on my phone, the next my head kissed the floor tiles, and—BAM—I woke up in a glowing forest filled with mushrooms the size of refrigerators.
"Did… did I just die from stupidity?" I muttered, patting my pockets. No phone. No Wi-Fi. Just me, a broken stick in my hand, and a suspiciously shiny frog croaking at my foot.
Before I could process my new low, armored knights burst through the bushes. Their swords gleamed, their capes fluttered like drama queens in the wind. The leader pointed at me.
"There he is! The Hero we summoned!"
Me: "Excuse me? I'm not even the hero of my own workplace."
The knight ignored me and demanded, "Show us your power!"
Panic hit. My brain went blank, but my mouth… my mouth betrayed me, as always.
"I can summon… uh… flaming chickens if I clap three times and insult my neighbor's haircut!"
The knights blinked.
Then—FWOOOSH! A fireball shaped exactly like a chicken exploded into the sky, squawking like it was late for breakfast.
The knights fell to their knees in awe. "The prophecy… it's true!"
Meanwhile, I stared at the burning poultry in horror. That's when I realized:
In this world, my magic works only when I talk absolute nonsense.