"Go ho-me, Bella."
"You're not my mother."
Miles gave her a glare, dark eyes narrowed into slits. Bella almost cowered under that gaze but she forced herself to stifle the tremble that would normally be aroused by that look. She was no longer a kid anymore.
"That's qui-te obvious. Whe-re is she anyway, it's so unli-ke her to no-t broo-d over you."
The comment made a spark of anger trace down Bella's skin. She gritted her teeth as she followed after him, strutting down the front porch of their house, the setting still eliciting memories. Bella didn't even know why she even cared so much about what he said about her, it had been eleven years, she thought she had overcome this by now. Bella slowed down as he turned left, heading for the neighbor's house, probably wanting to ask questions of some sort.
She let her breathing even as she traced his footsteps, her old tennis shoes leaving trails along the cemented pavement. Through all her outings since she's gotten here, she had realized that the urge to stand out as usual had drained to some extent. Instead of the designer shoes and dresses that lay in her box, she usually opted for the cargo pants and baggy shirts she had sent a man to buy from some rundown supermarket. As much as she secretly missed those adoring glances and stares, she knew they would hinder her from being able to accomplish her goal.
With that she strode forward, shifting the shades that she wore over her eyes up the bridge of her pointed nose. The grass from the front porch of the neighbor's house scratched against her pants, flies skittering across from it. Bella paused one too many times at the garbage that lay between the blades of grass. She scrunched up her nose, judgements already forming in her mind but she chose to ignore them. She continued down before walking up the small staircase that led to the door, which Miles was currently knocking on.
"Go ho-me, Bella." He repeated monotonously, his back still turned to her.
Bella gave a forced laugh as she leaned against the faded railing of the staircase, trying to get a good look at her elder brother. She folded her hands over her shoulders when he knocked again.
"No, I get to decide whether or not I should go and I insist I stay."
"Do you reali-ze that what I am do-ing is n-ot mer-ely child's play? Lives could be lost."
Bella chuckled, the sour taste forming a thick sheen over her tongue. "Well, hasn't a life already been lost? Maybe if you'd been doing your job when you were supposed to then daddy wouldn't have died!" Bella could feel her heart clench tightly in her chest, her ribcage exerting more pressure on it. She tried to force down the loud hitch to her breath. She exhaled shakily, gripping the railing with clenched hands as she looked towards the old white gate that separated the house, the glaring rays of the sun showing the dirty patches of grey that formed along it. Bella inhaled again before letting her eyes flee from it.
"So... you thi-nk I'm to bla-me for this?" There was a bitter color to his words but she couldn't see his face since he still stared at the door.
"Who else? Maybe if you'd been the son that you were supposed to be, none of this would have happened! While daddy was burning to his death, where were you? Eating?! Sleeping," Bella let out a rueful laugh, the anger and sadness that she had bottled up for these past few days, the storms that she had tried to quell but had refused to be tamed.
"Or wait, let me guess. You've been playing detective when the man that cared for you more than anything-"
"Enou-"
"Was burnt to a-"
The door was wrenched open and their father's neighbor revealing a short pale skinned man who was startled by their apparent altercation. He looked between them, very thin white brows almost reaching his equally white hairline. Bella looked away from Miles who had already returned his gaze to the man, possibly reaching for what to say. Bella could still feel the myriad of angry thoughts darting around, gaining momentum with each ponder. Bella wanted so badly to slap the living daylights out of her brother, to maybe break another phone. She considered the idea by tapping on her pocket but she realized she had left that one in her hotel room, still dead on the floor. She had to order a new one. With nothing to push her anger into, she focused on the man by the doorway.
He scratched his white hair while he used his other hand to rub his protruding belly. Bella could barely hide her disapproval as she stared at the man's dirty singlet and short boxers that showed off rather hairy legs. Even one whiff of the air around him made her gag internally. She took a few steps back, not at all caring whether or not it was discrete. Truth be told, his eyes caught onto her movement, lazy eyes trailing her. He smiled a little before winking. A shudder grew down her spine and she suddenly felt like hitting him square in the fact. But she was unable to do that because that could make a dent on her image, she remained quiet and began to pay attention to what Miles was saying.
"-Do y-ou by any cha-nce know w-here he we-nt last?"
The man scratched his head again and Bella noticed the amount of dirt that found its way underneath his nail. He wiped his nose with a hairy forearm which made Bella take another step back, the disgust that boiled in her belly momentarily overtaking the anger that had brewed earlier on.
"Tom, yeah. Well, I know that two days before he .....you know what, he said something about going to Squalor Square. Going to meet with the needy," The old man snorted, laugh lines forming around his eyes as his wrinkles deepened. His coffee-colored teeth left little to be desired and Bella could almost imagine his foul breath.
She took another step back.
"He really was a goody goody. Always wanting to help, I bet he delivered some treats to kids over there. Never understood what all the niceties were for. A man gotta live for himself, you know? But of course he never did. Shame someone like him died, the good ones never last long." He wiped his eyes and Bella could almost see a screen of unshed tears.
Bella felt her chest tighten. Even though she was instantly repelled by the man that stood before her, she couldn't help but acknowledge his words. First Penelope. A lump formed in her throat. She blinked severally to try to quench the burning sensation that overtook her eyes. Now it was father, maybe the only people that had actually cared for her. The reality of his demise made her chest feel tight, chains forming around her heart and squeezing it with brusque iron hands.
Miles thanked the man and said something else to him to which the man replied but Bella was unable to pick up on the last bits. Bella heaved a breath when Miles strolled back and the door of the man's house slammed shut. Bella fell in step with him.
"That man was disgusting but at least he was useful. So, where next?"
"Home, Bel-la. You're not goi-ng with m-e."
Miles pushed past her, his features slack and unreadable. Frustration piqued in her system at how it was so hard to get her way with him, something that usually came easy for her. She clapped a hand on his shoulder, making him come to a halt in the process.
"I told you, I am going with you. You don't have a choice."
He flicked her hand away before continuing down the path. She huffed. Bella trailed behind him, her footsteps overshadowed by the horns of cars that zoomed past. They stopped at an old silver jeep by the side of the road. It had a large dent at the door of the driver's seat. Even though it was as clean as it could ever be, it wasn't hard to tell that it was old.
Probably centuries old even.
For once, Bella chose not to comment.
"I do a-nd I sa-y no." He brought out his keys and inserted them into the lock. The fury that had subsided earlier was rekindled, the smouldering heat encapsulating her whole being.
"You're not the boss of me!" Bella marched to the passenger's side and wrenched the door open with as much force as she could muster. It creaked in response, its joints groaning in pain. She poked her head inside, angry words already at the top of her tongue when her brother cut her short,
"What wou-ld the peo-ple think if they saw The Bella Cox scream-ing like some..... ho-oligan?"
Bella was startled by the comment and even though she had made sure to come across as inconspicuous as ever with the shades, baggy clothes and even the hat, she suddenly felt rather self-conscious.
What if someone saw me like this? My most fashionable award would go to Jenny and I can not let Jenny win!
Still feeling as though eyes were boring through her from all directions, she leaned into the wonky seat, the leather not as soft as the one that she was used to.
"Then we better go to avoid such a.... crisis, shall we?"
The hard look Miles gave her was swept away to be replaced with one of undulating tiredness. He ran a hand down his face and Bella could almost tell that he was frustrated. Triumph flared in her chest. She had gotten a reaction out of him!
"I-"
"I'd like to think that you like your hand in the case the way it is." She began before casually shrugging. Miles gave her a narrowed look at that, obviously sending that this was going the wrong way.
"My sources tell me that any mishap from your end will lead you to being removed from the case. And I don't think they would ignore complaints from someone like me." Bella batted her eyelashes innocently at him. The desired effect came, his gaze darkened and he clenched his jaw, unable to work out the tension from his face. For a moment they just stared at each other, even though Bella was able to keep up the sickly sweet smile that twisted her lips but she inwardly frowned at that look that he gave her.
That same one that had seared itself into her memory. Like mother like daughter.
"Get in." He replied icily before starting the engine. Bella swallowed before quickly lowering herself into the seat and closing the door shut. Even though it had worked out in the end, she still hated the look that he had given her and hated the fact that even after so long it still made her feel so small. She clutched her belt, running her hand down it.
She dared not steal a glance at him as the silence that surrounded them was tense. A silence that filled her with nervousness. That filled her with that insignificant feeling that still reared its head every once in a while, that told her nothing she had or did would ever make her good enough. Something that was so plainly written in her brother's gaze every time he laid eyes on her. She was nothing but their mother's tool.
Not anymore.
Bella reminded herself as she felt that hollow feeling press up her sides. She tried to still it and focus on what mattered.
Proving him wrong.
Something that she had wanted to do ever since she was little.