The Uchiha compound.
On its edge stood an old, two-story house—that was Uchiha Kai's home in this world.
To be fair… the house was a little shabby.
But the location wasn't bad at all—it was close to Hidden Leaf Village's commercial district.
After all, the Nine-Tails' attack hadn't happened yet, so the Uchiha compound hadn't been relocated.
As one of Hidden Leaf Village's founding clans, the land they occupied naturally wasn't poor.
On his way home, Kai endured plenty of "eye-rolls," "provocations," and "mocking sneers" from his clansmen.
But as for him?
He was already used to it. Face slack, he yawned and gave his usual sarcastic replies.
"Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right."
"I am a coward. I am trash."
"You're amazing, you're awesome, you're the eternal GOAT."
"..."
Yes.
Back when he'd first transmigrated, maybe he'd still get angry or feel aggrieved.
But now?
He was long since used to it—numb, thick-skinned, and even a little amused.
In his eyes, these clansmen were laughable, pitiable.
Clinging to the so-called "Number One Noble Clan of Hidden Leaf Village" banner, without realizing they'd already become someone else's appetizer on the table.
No Madara-level strength to dominate the shinobi world.
No political savvy to survive the power games of the upper echelons.
And still clutching onto their pitiful pride…
If they weren't the ones to die, who would?
Kai had no interest in keeping company with fools.
Sighing a little to himself, he pushed open his front door and stepped into the quiet house.
He dusted the place briefly, then flopped straight onto his bed.
His whole body relaxed.
Before, he might have forced himself to train more.
But now? Things were different.
He had the Lie Flat & Slack Off System. What the hell was the point of training anymore?
Lying flat was the true path!
[Chakra +13]
[Fire Style +16]
[Lightning Style+11]
[Taijutsu +13]
[Yin Style +19]
[…]
Lying on his bed, Kai listened to the system's prompts. Slowly, a faint smile crept across his lips.
Damn, this felt good.
No grueling practice—just lying down, and his strength kept climbing.
System, you're the real MVP!
After enjoying the feeling for a while, he opened his system panel.
Host: Uchiha Kai
Chakra: 1062
(Note: Based on "Kakashi units." An adult Kakashi has 1000 chakra.)
Fire Style (Proficient): 168 / 400
Lightning Style (Beginner): 32 / 100
Taijutsu (Proficient): 121 / 400
Yin Style (Intermediate): 36 / 200
Sharingan: Three Tomoe
Skills: Shadow Clone Jutsu, Substitution Jutsu, Transformation Jutsu, Navy Six Styles,Fire Style: Great Fireball Jutsu, Fire Style: Phoenix Sage Fire Jutsu, Fire Style: Flame Bullet Jutsu, Fire Style: Great Fire Annihilation Jutsu, Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu
Overall Evaluation: Jounin
"Mm. Not bad!"
Reading over his stats, Kai felt very satisfied.
Sure, compared to the whole shinobi world, his strength was still nothing special.
But who cared?
At the very least, surviving the upcoming Third Great Ninja War shouldn't be a problem.
After all, he'd never shown his true power at the Academy. Everyone assumed he was a useless good-for-nothing.
With no value, the clan ignored him—so naturally, he was cannon fodder.
That meant the teammates assigned to him would also be cannon fodder.
Their squad's Jounin instructor? At best, a Chuunin.
A Jounin instructor? Forget it—that was reserved for elite students.
And as for their missions, they'd probably only face small fry.
Even if he got unlucky, and was thrown into some suicidal "bait mission" arranged by Orochimaru or Danzo… so what?
Cannon fodder missions only drew cannon fodder enemies.
Even if Danzo wanted him dead, he wouldn't waste an elite Jounin on someone everyone thought was trash.
Honestly, Danzo probably wouldn't even notice him.
Why bother? He was a "useless Uchiha" without even a Sharingan on record.
"Good. Very good."
"As long as I survive this war, I'll be fine."
"From here on out—slack off all the way."
"Never show my real strength. Even in danger, I'll let my 'comrades' drop first before lifting a finger."
"Once I'm the last one left, I'll just make up an excuse. Something like—'Oh, they got struck by lightning.'"
"Doesn't matter if you believe me or not—I believe me."
"And if I really can't make it work? Then I'll just go 'missing in action.'"
"After the war, I'll return to Hidden Leaf Village and claim I was saved by some civilians while badly injured. Sure, the Yamanaka clan can probe memories, but come on—I've got three tomoe. Brainwashing a civilian and planting false memories is child's play."
"Perfect. Absolutely perfect."
Kai muttered to himself, eyes gleaming as plans spun rapidly through his head.
In seconds, he'd plotted out everything.
A wide smile spread across his face.
He had no intention of sacrificing himself for Hidden Leaf Village.
If not for the fact that the shinobi world had no safe haven anywhere, and defectors were hunted to the ends of the earth, he'd have run already.
Yes—he'd considered following in the footsteps of Orochimaru or Itachi.
But he gave up on that idea quickly.
Orochimaru only survived defection because Hiruzen deliberately let him go—unable to kill his beloved student.
Jiraiya had chased him half-heartedly, but he too couldn't bring himself to deliver a killing blow.
As for Itachi? Sure, he defected. But he went straight into Akatsuki as a spy.
And Kai? Unless he actually joined Akatsuki, defecting was just suicide.
Never mind his Jounin-level strength—Hidden Leaf Village had plenty of people who could crush him like a bug.
And he had no powerful backers.
Defection was just asking to die.
Even if he managed to hide, he couldn't hide forever.
Living in the wild, constantly tense, exhausted in body and mind—he wouldn't last.
As for joining Akatsuki? Ha! Forget it.
That organization was a mess: Nagato, Black and White Zetsu, Obito, Madara…
Damn, what a Russian nesting doll of schemers.
Get involved with them, and he wouldn't even know how he died.
So in conclusion—
The best option was to lie low in Hidden Leaf Village.
When the Uchiha massacre came, then he could slip away. Hide for a few years, until Tsunade became the Fifth Hokage and Pain attacked Hidden Leaf Village, leaving the village weakened.
That would be the perfect time to return.
First of all, Tsunade wasn't Sarutobi Hiruzen.
By then, Danzo would most likely be dead.
And since he'd never harmed Hidden Leaf Village, his earlier defection could be justified as merely escaping the massacre.
More importantly, Hidden Leaf Village would be short on powerhouses.
As an Uchiha survivor, Tsunade would almost certainly take him in.
And besides—there was still Sasuke.
Would Hidden Leaf Village really reject the last Uchiha, when Sasuke finally had a clansman left?
With Sasuke speaking up for him, Naruto wouldn't just sit idle either.
At that point, his return would be smooth as silk.
Then he could continue slacking off.
Perfect. Flawless.
Having thought everything through, Kai lay back on his bed and drifted into a peaceful sleep.