Luka didn't speak.
He just sat back against the wall, keeping Ren close but not tight. His arms weren't locked around him, just folded in a way that said, you're safe here, if you want to be.
Ren hated how easy it was to stay there.
His body had stopped screaming. The chemical chaos was quieter now-like a tide that had finally stopped trying to drag him under. There was still heat pooling behind his ribs, still the faint ache between his hips, but it was manageable. Bearable.
For now.
He didn't realize his head was resting on Luka's shoulder until Luka shifted slightly, like he was adjusting to the weight of it. Not moving away. Just… steadying.
Ren flinched.
"Sorry," he muttered.
"You don't have to apologize."
Ren sat up, but not all the way. His hands pressed against the cold floor, grounding himself.
"It's weird," he said after a beat. "Feeling like I'm in control again. It's… almost worse."
Luka's eyes flicked toward him. "Because now you're scared of what comes next?"
Ren looked down at the collar still locked around his throat. "No. I think I'm scared that I'll get used to this."
They sat like that for a while-somewhere between a truce and a turning point.
Ren's skin still felt too aware of itself. Like every inch had turned into a question he didn't know how to answer. But the hunger was no longer panicked. No longer frantic. Just a low, warm hum that made it hard to tell where the heat ended and need began.
"I don't think the collar's enough," he said quietly, not looking at Luka.
"I know."
Ren clenched his jaw. "Then why aren't you-?"
"Because you asked me not to."
Luka's voice was like a wire strung tight. Controlled. Respectful. But Ren didn't miss the strain under it.
"You're not unaffected by this, are you?" Ren asked.
Luka's pause was too long.
"No."
Ren's gaze snapped to him. Luka was looking straight ahead-face composed, but his hands… his hands were gripped into fists against his knees.
"How bad?" Ren asked, quietly.
"I've had to recite IP protocols in my head for the last hour just to stay still."
Ren huffed a small laugh. "Sexy."
"It wasn't supposed to be."
"No, but now I can't stop picturing you muttering server commands with a hard-on."
Luka groaned. "Ren."
"You're the one who said it."
"Don't make this harder."
"I'm making it harder?"
That got a sharp breath out of Luka. "You're evil."
Ren smiled, but it faded quickly.
"I want to touch you," he said, suddenly. "But I don't want it to be because I'm in heat. I don't want to wake up tomorrow wondering if I meant it."
Luka nodded, slowly.
"And I want you to touch me," Ren added, even quieter. "But only if it's not about control. Or instinct. Or some bond the system assigned us."
Luka met his eyes. Something in his expression softened.
"I don't want to be your handler," he said. "Or your alpha. I just want to be Luka. The guy you used to snipe lava goblins with at midnight and flirt with in raid chat."
"That guy was hot," Ren murmured.
"He still is."
Ren looked down at the collar again.
"Take it off."
Luka blinked. "You sure?"
"Not forever. Just…" He hesitated. "Just so I know I'm not leaning on it. That I can still want you without it."
Luka didn't argue. He leaned in slowly, fingers brushing the back of Ren's neck with practiced care, and unlatched the clasp.
The collar fell into Ren's hands with a soft click.
Ren set it aside.
And for a long moment, he just… breathed.
What happened next didn't feel like a decision.
It wasn't deliberate. It wasn't planned. Ren just moved-slow, careful-until he was close again, knees brushing Luka's, eyes never leaving his face.
"Tell me to stop," Ren said.
"I won't."
"You should."
Luka's voice was hoarse. "I know."
Ren leaned in, so close his breath warmed Luka's jaw.
"I want this to be me," he whispered. "Not the bond. Not the collar. Not the heat. Just me."
Luka exhaled like he'd been holding it for days.
"Then come here."
Their first kiss wasn't cinematic.
It wasn't perfect. Ren was too warm, Luka was too still, and they both forgot how to breathe halfway through. But it was real. Ren's fingers curled in Luka's shirt, Luka's hand settled lightly on the side of his neck, and for a moment, neither of them were bonded or assigned or trapped in some fluorescent prison pretending to be a suite.
They were just two people.
Finding each other.
Wanting each other.
And for Ren, that was enough.
The kiss deepened, slow and messy, lips dragging and breaths catching. Luka tasted like restraint-like every muscle in his body was trying not to crush Ren against him.
"I'm not fragile," Ren whispered, breath hot against his mouth.
"You are," Luka whispered back. "But I still want you."
Ren swallowed. "Then take me apart gently."
Luka's answer was another kiss-deeper this time, his hands sliding up Ren's back with agonizing patience.
But even as Ren's body arched toward him, even as heat spiraled low in his belly, the thing that made him shiver wasn't Luka's strength.
It was the way he held back.
Like Ren was worth waiting for.
They didn't go all the way that night.
There was no claiming. No mark. No pheromone haze.
Just slow touches. Whispered permission. A bed that creaked once before they both gave up and moved to the floor. Luka's mouth against Ren's shoulder. Ren's fingers gripping the back of Luka's neck like he'd fall apart without him.
And in the end, when they both lay still, half-dressed and half-broken, Luka didn't reach for the collar.
Ren didn't ask him to.
They fell asleep like that-pressed close, skin hot but not desperate, breath slow.
Still unbonded.
Still choosing.