Chapter 8 – Family Tensions & Emotional Isolation
Family dinners were always a minefield for Conor. The clatter of cutlery, the hum of small talk, and the constant laughter of his mother and Jaime felt deafening to him. Every compliment Jaime received, every glance from Reena, made him shrink into himself.
Conor picked at his food quietly, trying to disappear into the background. The thought of telling anyone about his illness never crossed his mind here. Not with Reena's piercing eyes and critical tone, not with Jaime's careless jokes, not with the weight of expectations pressing down on him.
"Can't you do anything right?" Reena snapped suddenly, slamming her fork onto the table.
Conor flinched, a familiar sting of shame washing over him. Jaime chuckled awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with the tension, but Reena didn't seem to notice.
"I... I'm sorry, Mom," Conor whispered, staring down at his plate.
"You never apologize for what you do wrong, Conor. Maybe if you tried harder..." Reena trailed off, her eyes narrowing. "I just don't understand why you can't be more like Jaime."
The words cut deeper than any punch or insult he had endured back in 8th grade. Conor remembered the halls of middle school—the whispers, the cruel laughter, the way classmates called him weak, weird, unworthy. No one had comforted him then. No one had been there to tell him he mattered. And now, years later, he felt the same pang of invisibility at home.
Even his bisexuality felt like another barrier. He knew Reena would never accept it. The fear of her disapproval, the dread of confrontation, made him stay silent, burying yet another part of himself.
After dinner, Conor retreated to his room, clutching his diary tightly. His sanctuary. The only place he could pour out his feelings without judgment or ridicule.
"I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Not here, not at school, not with friends. I'm invisible... unwanted... useless. Even when I smile, even when I try... no one sees me. And now there's something wrong with me, something they can't even know. Maybe I'm not meant to stay... maybe I'm just... fading away."
The quiet of his room amplified his loneliness. The soft hum of the city outside the window, once comforting, now felt distant, like it belonged to another world—a world where he could be seen, loved, and accepted.
Later that evening, Chad texted him, asking if he wanted to meet at the café. Conor hesitated. The thought of laughing, talking, and pretending everything was fine filled him with both longing and dread.
I can't let anyone see the real me. Not now. Not ever, he thought, typing a brief reply: "Maybe tomorrow. I'm tired tonight."
Alone, he curled up on his bed, feeling the weight of isolation pressing him into the mattress. Even with Chad, even with his friends, even with the people who claimed to care, he felt invisible.
He buried his face in his pillow, whispering softly to the darkness:
"Does anyone even need me? Do I even belong anywhere? Maybe... maybe I'm meant to be alone."
Cliffhanger: Conor stared at the ceiling, his chest heavy and his eyes stinging with unshed tears, thinking: Maybe I was never needed in this family... maybe I don't belong anywhere...
This chapter establishes:
Reena's constant criticism and lack of acceptance
Jaime's awkwardness and ignorance of Conor's feelings
Conor's internalization of past bullying and present invisibility
Emotional depth: feeling of uselessness, isolation, and unaccepted identity