Chapter 4 – First Kiss & True Feelings
The late autumn evening settled over Harvard's campus, painting the sky in shades of amber and rose. Conor and Chad had stayed behind after a study session, lingering near the quiet courtyard. Their group had dispersed, leaving them alone amidst the rustling leaves and distant chatter of students heading back to their dorms.
Conor felt a flutter in his chest he couldn't quite explain. Every glance at Chad, every brush of their shoulders as they walked side by side, sent an unfamiliar warmth through him. Why does it feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest?
They stopped near a fountain, the water shimmering in the soft evening light. Silence stretched between them, comfortable yet charged, as if the world had shrunk down to just the two of them.
Chad finally spoke, voice low but steady. "Conor... can I be honest with you?"
Conor's throat went dry. He nodded, unsure if he could even form words.
"I... I like you," Chad admitted, his eyes locking with Conor's. "I've liked you for a while. I didn't want to push, or make things awkward, but I can't keep it in anymore."
Conor's heart raced, and his pulse throbbed in his ears. He had imagined this moment countless times, dreamed about it in stolen thoughts and scribbles in his diary, but now it was real. He wanted to speak, to say something, but all that came out was a whisper:
"I... I like you too."
The words were barely audible, but they carried the weight of hope, fear, and longing. Chad's lips curved into a gentle smile, and before either of them could overthink, he leaned closer. Conor's breath caught as their lips met—a soft, tentative kiss that spoke of vulnerability, desire, and the thrill of being truly seen.
Time seemed to slow. Conor felt the tension, the years of isolation, the bullying, the invisibility—all of it—melt away in that single moment. His heart felt full and fragile all at once.
When they finally pulled back, Chad rested his forehead against Conor's. "You're... incredible," he whispered. "And I don't want to hide how I feel anymore. I want you to know that I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."
Conor's eyes filled with tears, but they were tears of relief and joy. He realized that for the first time in years, he wasn't alone. He was wanted. He was seen.
"I... I'm scared," Conor admitted, his voice trembling. "I've been hurt... ignored... I don't know if I can trust this feeling yet."
Chad took his hands in his, holding them tightly but gently. "You can trust me. I'll be patient. I'll be here, no matter what. You don't have to face anything alone anymore."
Conor let himself believe it, even if just for a moment. A part of him—the part that had been beaten down by years of bullying and family neglect—wanted to retreat. But another part, a part that had been starving for connection, courageously stepped forward.
They stayed there, hand in hand, watching the sun dip below the horizon. Conor felt a sense of belonging he had never experienced before, and for the first time in a long while, hope sparkled in his chest.
That night, back in his dorm, Conor opened his diary. His pen moved quickly across the pages:
"I never thought I'd feel this way. He sees me. He likes me... and I like him. Maybe... maybe I'm finally allowed to be happy."
He paused, staring out the window at the darkened campus. The world outside felt large, but somehow, it didn't feel threatening. It felt possible.
Cliffhanger: As Conor drifted to sleep, his thoughts lingered on Chad's eyes and smile. Can I let myself love someone again? Or will this happiness be taken away, just like everything else I've lost?
This chapter establishes:
Conor and Chad's first kiss and admission of feelings
Emotional depth: hope, fear, and trust