"Yooo, is that you, Edmond? You're back!" he said with that thick Marseilles accent and a grin showing off his perfect white teeth.
"Yeah, what's good, neighbor Caderousse, I'm here for you however you need me," Dantès replied, trying to hide how cold he was feeling behind fake politeness.
"Thanks fam! But honestly, I'm chillin', don't need anything. Actually sometimes other people need ME." Dantès made a face. "Nah not you though, bro! I spotted you money before and you paid it back, that's good neighbor shit right there, we're even."
"We're never really even with people who help us out," Dantès shot back, "because even when we don't owe them cash, we still owe them props."
"Why we even bringing that up? What's done is done. Let's talk about your fire homecoming, my guy! I was down at the docks trying to match some mulberry fabric when I ran into homie Danglars. 'You in Marseilles?' I asked. 'Yeah,' he says.
"'I thought you were in Smyrna.' - 'I was, but I'm back now.'
"'Where's our boy, little Edmond?'
"'Probably with his pops,' Danglars said. So I came over here," Caderousse added, "fast as hell to dap up my friend."
"Good old Caderousse!" said the old man, "he really cares about us."
"For sure I do! I love and respect y'all because real ones are rare as hell these days. But damn, looks like you came back with the bag, my boy," the tailor continued, side-eyeing all that gold and silver Dantès had dumped on the table.
The young man caught that greedy look in his neighbor's dark eyes. "Eh," he said casually, "this money isn't even mine. I was telling my dad I was worried he needed stuff while I was gone, and to prove me wrong he emptied his wallet on the table. Come on, dad," Dantès added, "put this money back in your stash, unless neighbor Caderousse needs anything, then it's all his."
"Nah bro, nah," said Caderousse. "I'm good, thank God, my lifestyle matches my income perfectly. Keep your money, keep it! You can never have too much. But real talk, I appreciate the offer just as much as if I actually took you up on it."
"I meant it too," said Dantès.
"No cap, my boy, no cap! Damn, you're tight with M. Morrel I hear, you smooth operator, you!"
"M. Morrel's always been mad cool to me," Dantès replied.
"Then why'd you fumble the bag by refusing to eat with him?"
"Wait, you turned down dinner with him?" said old Dantès, "he actually invited you to dinner?"
"Yeah, pops," Edmond replied, grinning at his dad's shock over all the clout his son was getting.
"But why'd you say no, son?" the old man asked.
"So I could see you faster, dad," the young man said. "I was dying to get home to you."
"But that probably pissed off M. Morrel, he's a solid dude," said Caderousse. "And when you're trying to get that captain spot, it's lowkey dumb to irritate the boss."
"I explained why I couldn't make it," Dantès said, "and I think he totally got it."
"Yeah but to be captain you gotta kiss ass a little bit with the higher-ups."
"I'm hoping to make captain without all that fake shit," said Dantès.
"Even better, even better! All your day ones are gonna be hyped for you. And I know someone down by the Saint Nicolas citadel who's definitely gonna be happy to hear this tea."
"Mercédès?" said the old man.
"Yeah, pops, and if it's cool with you, now that I've seen you and you're good and got everything you need, can I bounce and go visit the Catalans?"
"Go ahead, son," said old Dantès, "and may God bless you with your future wife like he blessed me with my son!"
"His wife!" said Caderousse, "damn, father Dantès, you're moving fast! She's not his wife yet from what I can see."
"Nah, but she probably will be soon," Edmond replied.
"Yeah yeah," said Caderousse, "but you were smart to get back asap, my boy."
"Why's that?"
"Because Mercédès is fine as hell, and fine girls always got a whole lineup of dudes. She's got them by the dozens especially."
"For real?" Edmond answered with a smile that was looking kinda nervous.
"Hell yeah," Caderousse kept going, "and some fire offers too! But you know, you're gonna be captain, so who's gonna pass that up?"
"So you're saying," Dantès replied with a smile that wasn't hiding his stress very well, "that if I wasn't gonna be captain-"
"Ehhh!" said Caderousse, shaking his head like 'yikes.'
"Nah, nah," said the sailor, "I got more faith in women overall, and Mercédès specifically. I know for a fact that captain or not, she's gonna stay loyal to me."
"That's what's up," said Caderousse. "When you're about to get married, you gotta have that blind trust. But whatever, my guy, go tell her you're back and let her know about all your plans and shit."
"I'm heading out right now," Edmond said, and after hugging his dad and giving Caderousse a nod, he dipped.
Caderousse hung around for a minute, then said bye to old Dantès and went downstairs to meet up with Danglars, who was waiting for him at the corner of Rue Senac.
"So?" said Danglars, "did you see him?"
"Just left him," Caderousse answered.
"Did he mention hoping to be captain?"
"He was talking about it like it was already a done deal."
"Really!" said Danglars, "seems like he's moving way too fast to me."
"I mean, apparently M. Morrel promised him the spot."
"So he's feeling himself about it?"
"Bro, yeah, he's being straight up cocky about the whole thing. Already acting like he's my boss, offering me his 'patronage' like he's some big shot, trying to loan me money like he's running a bank or something."
"And you said no?"
"Obviously! Even though I totally could've taken it, since I'm the one who helped him make his first coins ever. But now Mr. Dantès doesn't need help anymore, he's about to be a captain."
"Pfft!" said Danglars, "he's not captain yet though."
"Real shit! Better if he doesn't get it," Caderousse said, "because if he does, nobody's gonna be able to deal with his ass."
"If we want," Danglars replied, "he'll stay exactly where he is, maybe even get knocked down a peg."
"What you mean by that?"
"Nothing, just talking to myself. Is he still down bad for that Catalan girl?"
"Absolutely obsessed! But unless I'm trippin', there's gonna be some drama in that department."
"Well then, break it down for me."
"Why should I?"
"It's probably more important than you think. You don't fuck with Dantès?"
"I can't stand people who think they're hot shit."
"Then spill everything you know about the Catalan girl."
"I don't know anything for sure, but I've seen some stuff that makes me think our future captain is gonna catch some heat around the Vieilles Infirmeries area."
"What did you see? Come on, tell me!"
"Well, every time I've seen Mercédès in the city, she's been with this tall, built, dark-eyed Catalan dude, tan skin, intense vibe, and she calls him cousin."
"No way! You think this cousin is trying to get at her?"
"I mean, what else would a jacked twenty-one-year-old want with a fine seventeen-year-old?"
"And you're saying Dantès went to the Catalans?"
"He bounced before I even came downstairs."
"Let's head that way too. We can chill at La Réserve and sip some La Malgue while we wait for the tea."
"Bet," said Caderousse, "but you're buying."
"Obviously," Danglars said, and they rushed to the spot, ordered a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Père Pamphile had seen Dantès walk by not even ten minutes ago and confirmed he was definitely at the Catalans. So they sat down under the fresh spring leaves of the plane and sycamore trees, where birds were literally singing because it was one of the first nice spring days.