Part 1: A Very Stupid Death
The last thing Ryo Kazuhara expected that morning was to be flattened by a vending machine.
He wasn't even doing anything heroic. No noble sacrifice, no dramatic last stand. Just walking back from a convenience store with a bag of discounted karaage in hand, humming an anime opening under his breath. The crosswalk light blinked green, cicadas screamed from the roadside trees, and life was — as usual — utterly boring.
That was when the rumble started.
A sound like thunder rolling down the empty street. Ryo blinked, turned his head, and caught the sight of it —
A vending machine. Not a soda can rolling loose. Not a delivery cart losing balance. An entire vending machine, metal casing dented, glass rattling, rocketing down the sloped sidewalk like it had somewhere very urgent to be.
"...Is that — seriously?" Ryo muttered.
It came faster, wheels sparking from some unseen dolly beneath it, and people on the far end of the street shouted in confusion. None of them were close enough to be in danger. None of them except —
"...Oh, hell no."
Ryo took one step back. The machine picked up speed. His brain supplied the logical options: step sideways, run, literally anything. Instead, he froze, like an idiot deer in the headlights of a vending-machine-shaped truck.
In the split second before impact, he thought, This is the dumbest possible way to die. My parents are going to laugh at my funeral.
CRUNCH.
Everything went black.
A breeze touched his cheek. The smell of grass — not city pavement — drifted through his nose. Birds chirped somewhere above.
Ryo groaned, rolling onto his back. His bag of karaage was gone. His body wasn't broken. He sat up slowly, blinking against sunlight too bright, too clean. No skyscrapers. No cars. Just endless rolling meadows, a sapphire sky, and, in the distance, the silhouette of stone towers.
"...Okay. Either I'm dead," he muttered, "or I got isekai'd by a soda machine."
A chime echoed in his skull.
> [Booting Chaotic Providence System...]
Ryo froze.
Another line of glowing blue text hovered in the air, letters flickering like a busted screen:
> [Congratulations! Cause of Death: 'Blunt Force Trauma via Beverage Dispenser.' Truly inspiring.]
"...Excuse me?"
> [Welcome, Ryo Kazuhara, to — ERROR: destination undefined. Please enjoy your stay.]
The words faded, then reassembled in crooked alignment.
> [Would you like a tutorial? Yes / No]
Ryo rubbed his face. "Oh, great. I got the beta version."