The next morning, I forced myself out of bed earlier than usual.
It wasn't because I wanted to. It was because my brain refused to stop replaying yesterday: the pen, the smile, the way Emily's presence made the world feel slightly too bright for someone like me.
I shoved my backpack on and headed to campus, earbuds dangling but silent. The courtyard was alive as usual. Clubs had set up more tents today, music blaring from speakers. Students moved in confident, laughing packs. My steps felt slower. Smaller. Invisible.
Jason caught up with me halfway to the building, as if he'd been waiting. "You look like a zombie," he said. "First day hangover?"
"I'm fine," I muttered, adjusting my backpack strap.
"Uh-huh." He smirked. "Sure, man. Anyway, we're sitting together today. No excuses for hiding behind your notebook."
I groaned but didn't argue. He had a point.
---
Class started, and we settled in. Same hall, same seats. My notebook open, pen ready, pretending to be interested. Jason leaned back, casually scanning the room. "Looks like Emily's here too. That's… unfortunate for you."
I glanced subtly. Emily sat a few rows ahead, flipping through her sketchbook. She wasn't looking at me. She didn't need to. Yet just seeing her there made my chest tighten.
Michael Chen sauntered in right after, all smiles and easy confidence. He waved at Emily and some friends, laughing like the world had given him permission to exist perfectly.
I looked down at my notebook.
---
The professor announced a group exercise. Students were to pair up and work on a simple coding project—just an icebreaker, really. My stomach sank. I didn't know who to pair with.
Jason nudged me. "Relax, man. Just go sit somewhere. Worst-case scenario: you mess up. Best-case: you don't die."
I nodded, scanning the classroom. And then my eyes met Emily's. She caught my glance briefly and smiled. Just a small, polite tilt of her lips, but it was enough to freeze my brain.
I took a breath. Walked toward her row.
---
Before I could overthink further, Jason grabbed my arm. "Dude, chill. Just sit. You'll find a partner later."
I froze. My heartbeat pounding. Sitting somewhere else felt like admitting defeat. Sitting next to her felt like a gamble I wasn't ready for.
As if reading my thoughts, Emily looked around, searching for someone to help her with the project. Our eyes met again. I swallowed.
"Uh… do you want to work together?" I asked, voice cracking slightly.
She blinked, then nodded. "Sure."
I could feel my ears burning.
Jason let out a low whistle. "Hero of the day. Didn't even trip over your own feet."
I ignored him, trying not to hyperventilate.
---
We walked to the nearest empty set of computers. Emily pulled out her sketchbook and laptop, arranging her workspace neatly. I opened mine, unsure what to say, unsure how to act.
"Do you… um, know this part of the assignment?" I asked, pointing at the screen.
She glanced at it, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Yeah. It's straightforward. You just need to input the data and then… wait, are you doing it this way?"
I nodded, trying to explain, but stumbled over the words. My hands fidgeted.
She gave a small, patient smile. "Don't worry. You're fine. I'll show you."
That small gesture—her willingness to help without making fun of me—felt like warmth in a cold, crowded room. My brain tried to process it logically, failed, and decided to just panic quietly instead.
Jason leaned over my shoulder from the next station. "Bro, you're red. Like tomato red. This is adorable."
I groaned.
---
Michael was across the room with his group, effortlessly explaining concepts, laughing, and occasionally looking over at Emily. It wasn't rude; it was natural. Confident. Something I wasn't.
I tried not to compare, but it was impossible. Every word he spoke, every gesture, made me painfully aware of how awkward I felt.
Emily noticed me staring and tilted her head. "Are you okay?"
I blinked. "…Yeah. I'm fine."
She smiled again, small but sincere, before returning to her work. I realized my hands were shaking slightly from trying to hold my composure.
Jason whispered: "Dude, stop staring like a creep. You're making me embarrassed too."
I wanted to hide under the desk.
---
The exercise dragged on for an hour. Emily guided me through the project gently, correcting mistakes, explaining steps. It wasn't dramatic. It wasn't romantic. But it was… something. Real. Tangible. A connection that didn't exist yesterday.
By the end, our little project ran successfully. She nodded at the screen. "See? You did it. Not bad for a first try."
I wanted to say something clever, something memorable. Instead, I just nodded, muttered "Thanks," and stared at the monitor longer than necessary.
Jason clapped loudly. "Bravo! Round of applause for Jae Han, professional computer button pusher."
I groaned, but inside, a small flicker of pride burned. Maybe it wasn't nothing. Maybe it was the start of something small.
---
As students filed out, Emily packed her things. I walked beside her, unsure what to say.
"See you tomorrow?" I asked before I could overthink it.
She looked up, smiled gently. "Sure. See you tomorrow."
I nearly stumbled over my own feet. Jason nudged me. "Okay, wow, smooth. Totally didn't look like a deer caught in headlights."
I ignored him again, focusing on the soft echo of her voice in my mind.
---
Back in the dorm, I collapsed onto my bed.
It was still nothing. Just a shared workspace, a project that wasn't mine, and a smile that barely lasted three seconds.
But it was progress.
And for the first time in a long while, I felt… maybe not invisible. Not entirely.
Tomorrow, I decided, I'd try again. Small steps. Tiny interactions. Maybe words. Maybe something.
It wasn't much. But for the first time, I wanted tomorrow to come faster.