The sky is so white… all I see is white.
Is this heaven?
Ah, wait… I've been here before.
"BRAIN!!!"
"Hello, dear conscience."
I'm back in that endless white void. And there she is floating in front of me, the little blue-haired fairy, my subconscious, in the shape of a fairy-loli.
"Hey… I-I'm here again? I… I died..."
She swings her legs idly in the air, as if sitting on invisible furniture.
"Yes. So, how did you die?"
"You were involved… if you're still inside me, you already know."
"I know everything about you, or rather, everything you're capable of knowing."
"Then why ask?"
Her lips curve into a soft smile.
"You were in a world where no one knew it was an illusion of yours. Maybe you just need someone to vent to. That someone is me."
"Oh, what? Do you think I'd lose my mind or something?"
"Answer that yourself."
"...Well…"
I let out a long breath. My chest tightened.
"What a pathetic death…"
---
The memory came crashing back like shattered glass. The world replayed in my mind, sharp enough to cut.
The surge of foolish confidence as I rushed the blue wizard.
The glint of bone.
The sudden stab of steel in my belly.
A dagger tore into my belly. Not even by a wizard, but by a skeleton not taller than a child, as effortlessly as swatting a fly. No hesitation, no thought, just instinct.
"No way…" That was my last thought. A cocktail of shame and agony as my muscles, nerves, and bones were shredded.
And gods, it hurt. It wasn't quick. My brain was almost too skilled at recreating every shred of that agony.
This is what it feels like to die.
---
"What was I even thinking?!" My voice cracked, half-laugh, half-sob. "What kind of stupid, senseless move was that?! They didn't even notice me!"
"You were never an impulsive person," Brain said evenly.
"Yeah, I know… Did I just want to impress that girl? Am I a SIMP?!"
"Do you think so?"
"I… I don't— I just thought that since this world was realistic, good things would only come if I worked for them. Unlike in my real life, where I just… didn't."
She tilted her head. "You really think that's how life works?"
"I… I mean…"
That's what it should be, right?
I bit my lip, pushing the thought aside. "Tsk. Anyway, what now?"
Brain was suddenly holding bread, warm, crusty bread, nibbling at the soft white inside, my favorite part.
"Now? Well, you're God here. Whatever you want happens."
"O-Oh… really?"
She smirked. "Of course. What were you expecting?"
"U-Uh… in that case, I want to revive. Back in the Isekai world."
The only thing I can't do is return to Earth. The real world.
But that's fine. Here, I'm practically God.
I can do whatever I want. Whenever I want. This is amazing.
And a grin spread across my face. "I have an idea!"
"Go on."
"I'll give myself a power, kind of... I called it semi-immortality. I can die, sure, but I'll always come back here first, then resurrect."
"You want to return to the Isekai world with that?"
"Yes! That'll be my only superpower: Semi-immortality. I want to keep exploring that world, no matter how many times I die."
Brain blinked slowly. "Ah… you haven't even uncovered it's power system yet."
"Exactly! This resurrection won't be a cheat. It's just a tool so I can continue, even if I die."
"You could just rewind time before death. Or make yourself simply immortal."
"No. That would ruin it. Rewriting what I didz or being unkillable, would take away all the fun. I just want the chance to keep going. That's it. No cheat codes."
"…Very well then."
A white portal shimmered open before me, humming softly.
"You have infinite time here. Whatever you want, whenever you want." She floated closer, spreading her arms. "But if you regret something, just die and come back. This will be our escape valve. I can't interfere directly in that world, because of your orders."
I swallowed. "Okay…"
It's perfect. A blank slate world. A place to play, to live, to grow. And a safety net if I failed.
Literally, what can go wrong?!
"Then… I'm going."
I stepped toward the portal.
"See you later!"
But just as I touched the light, her voice rang out.
"Wait! Theo…"
I turned slowly. "What is it?"
For once, she seemed unsure of herself, fidgeting with her hair.
"There are things… pieces of you that define who you are. Things you can only change with immense effort. But if you change them too much… you won't be Theo anymore."
Her words sank deeper than I expected. Things that define me? Things that, if changed, would erase Theo Moretti?
What are they?
"I don't even know why I think that," she admitted. "Only you can answer that."
"…Alright. I'll think about it."
But… isn't changing for the better still fine?
"Maybe," she said, lowering her eyes. "Maybe I'm just afraid of you changing. Hard to explain."
"Mm… Well, I'll go then."
"Yes. Keep teaching us, dear conscience."
And so, I stepped into the portal.
---
Oh, it actually worked.
The sky above was blue again. My lungs filled with fresh air.
I was lying on the ground, exactly where I'd died.
A respawn, fair enough.
But… what's this on top of me—
"AHHHH???!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY STAFF!?"
I froze. A shadow loomed over me.
No… no way.
Pfft—HAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe it! She didn't even notice my body, and I resurrected right as her staff was over me! HAHAHAHA!
Pure, dumb luck!
Could this be Brain's interference? No. Impossible.
LUCK IS MERIT!!
The blue wizard, the one I'd stolen from, screamed, panicked:
"W-WAIT!! WHO ARE YOU!? GIVE ME BACK MY-"
But before she could finish, the other wizard's voice cut through, sharp as a whip:
"THIS IS PERFECT! SETEALEM!!"
Oh, that's a named attack?
Well, not sticking around to find out!.
---
I sprinted until I reached bushes, the same ones as before. That girl was here, right?
"HEY!!" I shouted. "I GOT IT! THE STAFF—"
No answer.
She wasn't there.
Where did she go? Did she move to another hiding spot? Should I—
"Hey, mighty boy."
A voice from behind. Not hers. Deeper. Darker.
I turned, slowly, dread pooling in my stomach.
The black-robed wizard.
She was smiling, calmly, almost playfully.
"W-What… what are you doing here?"
She twirled her staff lazily. "That little girl surrendered right away. So I came for you."
Her appearance was exactly what I imagined a witch to be: black hair brushing her shoulders, black dress, black lips, black nails, eyes like ink.
Honestly, she looked more like a goth cosplayer than a wizard.
"And you boy," she said, her smirk widening, "you seem strong. Someone who used a stealth technique to snatch my little friend's staff."
W-What?! No! Wrong! Completely wrong!
"N-No, I wasn't... I-I—"
"Shut up."
Her playful air vanished. Her tone dropped like ice.
"If you were really strong, you wouldn't look this scared."
She raised her staff. Smoke curled from its tip.
"H-Hey, miss, t-this is a misunderstanding—"
"I said shut up. Whoever interrupts a duel between two great sorceresses deserves death."
Her voice was final.
"Y-You want the staff, right? I-I can—"
"I'll take it after I kill you." Her voice thundered "SETEALEM!!"
Is this it?! I-I'm going to die again already?!