"Fluffy, Pa will be back soon, okay?"
"Woof! Woof!"
"So clingy now, ever since we moved here."
It's been almost a month since the semester started and nearly two months since he and Qin moved into this neighborhood—not too far from the university. They drive there anyway, so it's just a matter of waking up a little earlier. They still shower together like before, and the only difference is that Fluffy is super happy with the new house.
"Stay home and be good, okay? I filled your water and food. Don't forget to eat. Good girl, be a good girl."
Duang started the car engine, waiting for Qin to lock up the house. He waved goodbye to Fluffy, who barked repeatedly as if wondering why they weren't taking her along like usual.
"She looks so sad. You're worried about her, huh?"
"It's her first time staying home alone, Duang."
"You literally bought cameras to watch her 24/7. If anything happens, we'll know right away. Relax, okay?"
Qin, who had been fussing with worry, got his hair ruffled by Duang's big hand. Qin had actually bought four surveillance cameras for the house and downloaded an app to monitor their 'daughter' while she was home alone.
What a doting mother—uh, I mean, father. :p
"Good luck, second-year student."
"Tell yourself that. You've got more classes than I do."
"Heh."
"You'll be stuck at the studio all day and probably won't even come home."
"I'll come home, promise. School comes second. You always come first."
Duang steered the car into the university entrance, dropping Qin off like he always did since Qin's classes started earlier. After that, he'd usually go hang out with Jetana, who came to study because he always complained that sitting alone in his room was depressing. Second year was rough for Duang. The elective credits were through the roof, and the new subjects like Visual Composition and Applied Drawing were already making him sweat just thinking about them. But whatever— he'd get through it. His first-year grades were good enough to make his mom shower him with cash, which made Hia Nan throw side-eyes. Being the favorite child sure has its perks.
"Study hard, okay? See you this evening."
"You too."
Qin tousled Duang's hair until it was a mess before hopping out of the car. Duang, ever the lovesick fool, watched until Qin disappeared from view before driving off. At a red light, he pulled out his phone, deciding to annoy Jetana.
"Where are you, you idiot?"
[In Korea, duh.]
"Funny. Seriously, where are you?"
[I'm in Korea. Seoul. Want me to narrow it down? I'm eating ice cream near Yeonnam. What's up?]
"Jetana, today's the first day of school, you asshole."
[Listen closely, Chiwin.]
Duang pulled over but left the engine running. There is no way this conversation ending quickly. There had to be a good reason why Jetana was in Korea, especially since he had been totally MIA during the break.
Unless...
[I'm no longer a warrior. I'm a lover.]
"Jett, who the hell did you fall for to chase them all the way there?"
[Not telling. Let it drive you crazy. ...Hey, why you wake up so early?]
"Wait, is that... an international student?"
Duang shouted, as if his friend were right next to him. He could hear Jetana talking to someone softly in English but couldn't make out the words. If only Qin were here, he'd translate for Duang's dumbass.
[Nope. Thai. Well, half-Chinese, actually.]
"Fair-skinned?"
[White as snow, bro.]
"Yeah, you're definitely hooked."
[I never miss my shot, Duang.]
"I'm seriously shocked. You flew to Korea for that person? When did you even meet? You didn't tell us anything!"
[Calm down, man. It's not like that... I'm just here on a casual visit. No big deal.]
"Casual my ass. You're in Yeonnam, you dumbass."
[Why do you even care? It's too late. I only see you as a friend, okay?] Jetana teased dramatically.
"I wanted to grab some food with you before class. You're usually early, right?"
[Sorry, I flew out last night.]
"Screw you. Are you even planning to study?"
[It's the first week. No one studies. Professors just hand out the syllabus and let us go. Don't make me teach you basic stuff. I'm hanging up. Don't call again. We're done. Done, Duang.]
Duang wanted to scream in frustration. Jetana had already hung up before he could interrogate him further. From a warrior to a lover, huh? What the hell.
"Duang!"
"Shit, Pae. You're early too?" Duang waved over another close friend who approached with dark circles under his eyes.
"Yeah, my girlfriend got up early to make merit, so I figured I'd come straight here."
"Did you know Jetana's in Korea right now?"
"What for? Is he trying to be a ghost worker?"
"He's chasing after some girl."
"For real?" Pae nearly choked on his coffee. Jetana—of all people.
"Yeah, he was talking in English like crazy. I wanted to eavesdrop so bad, but I couldn't understand a thing."
"Man, he must be serious if he flew all the way there. Wild."
"Since when did he become the type who has to get what he wants?""I don't know, man. But why did he go so far? Or is he just messing with you while on vacation?"
"Exactly."
"What can you even do about him? You can barely understand what he says. It's like he's always high even though he's clean as a whistle—he doesn't even smoke."
"True that. Talking to him gives me a headache."
"Maybe he's just traveling with his family and teasing you."
"I'm gonna think of it that way. The jerk called me stupid for coming to class today. He said the first class is just for handing out the syllabus."
"Just wait and see, Duang. Your department's professors will probably assign ten tasks in five minutes."
"Right? I'm waiting for him to suffer by the weekend. He'll be drowning in work for sure."
"Yeah, let's go. The others are already in the building. I just saw them. Guess they were bored at home."
"Figures."
Duang walked into the faculty building with his friend, still thinking about Jetana. If he really does have a lover... Damn, that'd be wild.
"Jetana?"
"Yeah, Duang's like, don't waste the light in my eyes."
"What does that even mean?""You know, the light in my eyes, Qin. It means I'm pissed that he won't tell me."
Since the new semester started, I've been picking up new slang left and right. Qin just shook his head, exasperated by my endless nonsense. He chewed on his noodles for a bit before speaking again.
"Remember when we went to Chiang Mai last December?"
"Uh-huh."
"When you were on the phone, and Jetana asked to talk to me—do you remember that?"
"I kinda do."
I scooped a shrimp dumpling into his bowl, it's a habit now. No matter how little I eat, my boyfriend has to be well-fed. That's my life motto.
"Jet asked me how liking someone and being attracted to someone are different."
"And what did you say?" I almost choked.
Seriously?
Jetana— that Jetana—asking such a deep question?
"I told him that if you're just attracted, it doesn't matter if you get them or not. There will always be someone else you're attracted to."
"..."
"But if you like someone, you probably wouldn't want to let them go."I clutched my chest.
Oh no.
We're all doomed, Khun Charasmi. T_T
"Hey, he really is in Korea. I saw it on his Instagram story."
"Maybe he went with his family and is just teasing you. You always overreact."
"You sound just like Pae, but I really think he has a wife."
"Well, we'll see... It sounds fun."
It's not fun at all. I held back tears. We're all seriously doomed. If he's in love, he's going to go all out—way more intense than I ever could. And you know what they say: First love, first heartbreak. Not everyone's as lucky as me. I do not want to be the one comforting our class clown when he gets his heart broken.
"Don't overthink it."
"You, though..."
"Let it be," Qin said, lifting Fluffy onto his lap and giving her a big kiss on the head.
"Fluffy, look how much your Papa loves you. He even buys food to eat at home, making me wash all the dishes."
"I can do the dishes myself.""I'll do it. I drank milk this morning—the glass was mine anyway."
"You said it."
"Yes, sir! I'll take care of you."
"Fluffy, did you thank Pa yet? ... Thank you, Papa~"
I melted. That soft baby voice Qin used for our dog? I was a goner. Totally, completely, head-over-heels obsessed. I accept all charges. Guilty as charged.
"I was watching the camera this morning. Our baby plays by herself so well."
"Just like you, huh? Haha."
"Exactly. She's totally like me."
"Of course. You're the one who picked her from the farm."
I laughed while rinsing the noodle bowls, spoons, chopsticks, and glasses, tidying up the kitchen as I went. If my mom saw this, she'd probably cry tears of joy. She always says,
'Having a son is exhausting—they love their wife more than their mom.'
I always want to argue, but, well... She's kinda right. I'm a total traitor. T_T
"Got a lot of work yet? First day?"
"Loads. They assigned stuff months in advance. What about you?"
"I've got jazz ear training. I'll need to practice a lot for that.""The stuff you're listening to?"
"Yeah, sometimes it's too hard. The professor acts like the kids here are born prodigies."
"You're cute when you complain."
"It's tough... And there's also jazz keyboard skills. Good thing I brought my keyboard from home. First year wasn't too heavy, but second year is full-on. I'm so bored."
I listen to him complain. I could listen forever—I just want to know everything going on in his life. After finishing the chores, I walk over to sit and watch TV with Qin and Fluffy. Our kid is lying on Qin's lap, already so big that I think by the time she's a year old, she'll probably be way bigger than the other dogs her age.
"Do you think our kid is too big?"
"Not really."
"See, it's like how Phi Dao Nuea looks at you. What kind of person is nearly three centimeters tall?"
"Speaking of Phi Dao Nuea, he just complained yesterday that Phi Fah is so mean."
"Huh? What did they fight about?"
"I was confused too, so I texted Phi Fah to ask because I was afraid it was serious, but then I remembered that they never actually fight. Turns out, Phi Fah ate Phi Nuea's last piece of chocolate, and he cried his heart out. Seriously, he cried so loud that Phi Fah recorded a video of it."
"Adorable, like a kid."
"Right?" Qin sighs and shakes his head with a small smile, as if he can't imagine anyone not finding them adorable.We keep chatting aimlessly. Qin mentions that someone in his class dropped out because they got pregnant. He tells me to remind Pae to use protection because he doesn't want to be an uncle just yet. I guess he doesn't really like kids that much.
"Don't you want to have kids?"
"We already have one." His long fingers point to Fluffy, who is snoring softly on his lap.
"A baby, Qin. Marriage."
"I've never wanted one."
"Me neither."
"It's not because I'm dating you that I say this, but I feel like I can't take responsibility for something that huge. And I don't really want to get married either."
"But I want to marry you."
"Date me for ten years first before you say that."
"Ten years? I was thinking we'd get married as soon as we graduate."
"With what money? Save up first. Be patient."
I smile to myself. It means he's thinking about a future with me too. I keep playing with his hand while watching TV and scrolling through my phone until it's time to shower. We shower together because we both have early classes tomorrow, and if we stay up too late, we'll be wrecked.
"Goodnight, Duang."
"Goodnight."
"Thanks for today."And that's how a day with Qin usually goes—simple, but the happiest.
"Thank you for today too, my good boy."
It's already the best.
___________
"Where's my souvenir from Korea? You were there for a week, Jetana."
"I asked him what I should buy to bring back for people in Thailand."
"Uh-huh."
"He said not to buy anything—it'd be a waste of money."
"..."
"What the hell? Who says that? So bold."
"Not telling." Jetana sticks his tongue out and rolls his eyes.
"Someone mysterious, huh? Don't tell me... you're a mistress?"
"Definitely not. He doesn't want anyone, and he doesn't want me either."
Duang laughs, the same time Pae bursts out laughing. Honestly, poor Jetana—but damn, he's exactly his type.
"Hey, Jet."
"What?"
"So, this is exactly what you wanted, right? You told me you like people who don't care about you."
"Yeah, well, he's really not caring now. Happy?" The self-proclaimed romantic lets out a half-hearted laugh.
"See? I told you it wouldn't be fun."
"It's still fun for now... It's just a crush."
"A crush, and you still went all the way there? Seriously?"
"I was on vacation, okay?!"
"Where'd you go, then? Tell me."
"All over, dumbass. He's into fashion—checked out art exhibits, drank coffee, bought designer clothes."
"Sounds fancy as hell."
"I felt like a dog, honestly."
"You already are one. I won't argue." Jetana smacks his friend, sighing as he remembers everything. It feels chaotic, but somehow it's not the bad kind of chaos. Why does he let it happen?
He can't find the answer.
"He spends a hundred thousand a day."
"A hundred thousand won, I think I can tolerate that."
"A hundred thousand baht, you idiot. Buying clothes non-stop."
"Even more than Qin?" Duang laughed.
"Way beyond. Wears unisex clothes—just imagine. Buys both women's and men's clothes, buys everything... At first, he carried them himself, acting all proud. But later on, he tossed them for me to carry. If that's not heavy, I don't know what is. He's the size of a cat."
"Wow, does he talk like a novel's male lead or something?"
"Jetana's definitely got it bad, that's all I'm saying."
Duang couldn't help but laugh. Why is he like this? How does he make everything sound so funny?
"Hey, hey! Qin's here."
"Qinnnnnn!" He's gone over there. Jetana wrapped his arms around Qin's waist, burying his face in Qin's chest and spreading his legs wide to seem shorter. Qin patted his shoulder lightly as a hug in return, making Duang glare daggers at his boyfriend. Always a lover—jealous of everyone, just so you know. :(
"Jetana, watch out, Duang might punch you."
"For you, Qin? Bring it on. Even if it's not glass, it can still break, you know."
"I told you not to read too many quote pages, didn't I? Come here."
Pae locked Jetana in a headlock to keep him from acting up. Duang felt genuinely grateful, and it was Qin who nudged his shoulder.
"Are you here to eat at Duang's faculty?"
"Something like that."
"Be honest, Qin."
"What? Can't I miss you?"
"Wow... I haven't heard that in ages. Can I cry?"
"We're together all the time. When would I even get a chance to miss you?"
"I miss you all the time, even when you're right in front of me."
"Mm... Let's eat."
Duang cheerfully followed his boyfriend while whispering to his friends to stay away—no clinging, no nothing—because this was their quality time.
"Are you ditching your friends to eat with me, Qin?"
"Yeah, saw Kim eating rad na and thought of you, so I walked over."
"And you didn't call? I could've picked you up."
"Surprise."
Qin answered with a straight face, but to Duang, he looked unbearably adorable. We picked out food together, bought drinks, and sat at our usual table. Before long, Jetana and Pae joined us.
"Hey, lover boy."
"Whoa, Qin's teasing me!"
"Heard you went to Korea. How was the weather?"
"Chilly, but warm when someone hugs you."
"That sounds so you."
Jetana laughed. It was strange how he could casually talk about these things with Duang's boyfriend. Maybe it was because we were all close, but somehow, Qin seemed to understand love better than anyone else. He understood it—but whether to have it or not didn't matter to him. Having someone doesn't prove you know how to love. Some people are in relationships but are terrible at loving. But no, he didn't love that person—just to be clear.Yeah, not in love.
"Still doing okay?"
"I'm fine, nothing to worry about."
"You can always talk to me."
"Of course. Who else would I talk to? Look at my friends. Who can I rely on?"
"I can hear you," Duang protested, unlike Pae, who was focused on his noodles, totally confused about the conversation. Qin smiled softly at the three of them... He only worried about Jetana now.
As for Duang—
"He can take care of himself."
___________
We worked in different corners of the room. Even though the house was big, we still wanted to see each other nearby. Qin might've gotten used to it from living with Duang in the dorm. The room wasn't big—just a glance away, and he'd know what Duang was doing—rinsing brushes, painting, thinking, or crumpling up paper.
"Are you okay?"
"My brain's stuck."
"Come here, I'll hold you."
"Are you free?"
"Of course."
Qin lied.His work was just as urgent, but Duang came first. Spending just a few minutes on a cuddle was better than letting him sit there stressed out.
"Don't pressure yourself. Just do what you can."
"I don't want to suck at this."
"You won't... You never have."
Qin kissed his cheek for a long time, pressing his nose against Duang's forehead while showering him with all the compliments he could think of—just like Duang always did when he was feeling down. It really helps.
When the person we love repeatedly tells us how much we matter, even though we know we don't gain our value from anyone's words, it feels like a form of healing. Just hearing about our good qualities from someone by our side...
It's cute.
Giving and receiving. On the days when one person is too tired to give more than forty, the other will give the rest to make it a hundred. Sacrificing sometimes isn't that hard.
Because it's love.
"Duang is already the best."
Loving them so much.
"You're so cute."
"I learned it all from you."
"When you're done working, let's go grab something to eat, okay? Take Fluffy with us too."
"Sure."
"You can put my work aside. The deadline's still far away. No need to push myself. I should wait until I'm ready."
Qin nodded in understanding, gave Duang another light kiss, and pulled back to let him tidy up his things while he returned to his work. Qin sighed, noticing that almost two hours had passed since Duang had come over to whine. Now that his work was done, he turned to see Duang asleep on the sofa with Fluffy curled up next to him.
His pale hand picked up his phone and snapped a photo, posting it on Instagram—the first time in almost three months. When he's with Duang, he doesn't feel the need to touch his phone. Being together so much, spending nearly all their time side by side, deepens their bond. He can't imagine a day without Duang.
"Duang, let's go eat."
Because he'll never let that day come.
"Hmm... Did Duang fall asleep?"
"Yeah. Does your head hurt?"
"A little."
"I'll give you a massage, and you can rest a bit longer."
Qin replaced the pillow with his own lap, gently massaging Duang's temples. Duang always got headaches when he napped in the afternoon, unlike Qin, who could sleep anytime without issue.
"How was the freshman welcome event today?"
"Every freshman is a little shit. Not like my year. We were so scared of our seniors."
"Are you okay being the one in charge? Who even picked you for that? It doesn't seem like you at all."
"If Jetana can do it, why not me? He yells so loud until his voice cracks.
The whole crowd went silent."
Qin chuckled softly, able to picture the scene clearly.
"Don't make people respect you out of fear. It's enough if they respect you because they genuinely see you as someone mature."
"You're too good, you know that?"
"I'm not. I'm just saying what's real. If any senior acts immature, I wouldn't bother respecting them either."
"I don't care. I take your side no matter what."
"Just enjoy the event, don't overthink it."
Duang opened his eyes, offering Qin a soft smile before nodding in agreement.
"And how about you? How are your freshmen?"
"They're fine. Same tough-kid vibe as always."
"Anyone hitting on you?"
"Who would? I already have a boyfriend."
"How do they even know that?"
"How much did you pay Kim and his friends? They yelled on the first day that 'Qin in year two already has a scary partner who kicks dogs and cusses women.' No wonder no one dares approach me."
"Those jerks. I only bribed them with one bottle of Black!" Duang burst into laughter, pleased with their handiwork.
"My head hurts now."
"Well, you're my only one."
"Don't you trust me?"
"I do, but better safe than sorry. I know you won't like anyone else, but I won't let anyone else like you either."
Qin shook his head at the childish reasoning, pulling Duang up from the sofa to head out for a late-night meal. He crouched down, beckoning Fluffy over to clip on her leash.
"Let's go get something delicious."
"Pa's treating us."
"Which 'Pa'?" Qin asked with a small smile.
"You, of course. I'm broke this month. I spent too much on art supplies."
"I thought you were secretly buying a new camera."
"No way."
"Not suspicious at all."
"I really didn't!"
We left the house together—Qin, Duang, and Fluffy. Qin double-checked that the door was locked while Duang led their furry daughter to the car, reminding her not to pee inside Papa's car.It's simple like this.
Still easy, still happy.
...As long as we have each other.