1. "GOOD LOVIN"
We used to hang out like everyday, I walked her to the cab more times than a few, we've shared warm hugs and personal conversations, she's even entrusted me with her trauma but I couldn't realise a thing, I was too busy running my game, ended up losing such a good girl, I fumbled a good love.
We were almost like lovers, we've had conversations in the middle of two nights again and again, almost every night after seeing me during the day, she would call me and stay on the call for hours, nowadays we don't even talk because I chose not to see the goodness in front of me, I messed up and now I can't even hear her voice.
We used to talk about what good of a couple we'll be, she gave me a real taste of a "Get to know each other" experience, the more time we spent, the more reasons I found to give her my love but I just couldn't let go off my fears and live in the moment.
I fucked around and fumbled a good girl.
2. "TRADITIONAL LOVE"
If she's here for keeps, I've got the keys in my pocket and if she's here for love, I've got too much to give, I ain't for games and if she's here for play, she can get up and leave before we get too far.
Real love is hard to find, fake love comes easy with no baggage but true love is a one in a million that comes with trials and all kinds of ups and downs, I'm a firm believer that if the love is real, I'm ought to treat it with care and passion.
I want that traditional love, I want her on this couch, eating snacks while my head is on her thighs, I want some of her clothes over here for her sleepover, I want my shirt on her body after we kick it and I want her in my grandma's kitchen when nobody's around, I want to eat some good chicken, rice and gravy..
For one, love and life are never an easy ride, there's two sides to every coin and I welcome love with its bad side, it's the cause of the strength anyway, so I won't run away when shit gets real in the relationship.
It could start off lovely but it will get rocky, there will be fights and arguments, sleepless nights and misunderstandings, there will be miscommunication and there will be differences, that's what love is and if it's traditional love, I'm all in as long as it is a genuine love.
3. "I WON'T MESS THIS UP"
Giving me a second chance is probably the last thing she thought she'd do, I found the right words to plead my case and I promised her that I won't mess this up.
I've never been perfect and I never will be but I can try to do better, because my intentions are good this time around. I've grown a lot, in the way I communicate, the choices I make and the things that I hold as value to me, I've been bad news over and over again but here's a piece of my truth.
It takes a couple of wrongs for somebody to lose something, it took me a lot of bad decisions for me to get to this better point, I've lost a lot of stuff that meant a lot to me and right now I'm just trying to grow to be a better person and take this second chance as my opportunity to make amends for the mistakes that I've done in the past, starting with her.
When we met, I was trying to escape something bigger than myself, then my internal struggles exposed themselves through my actions and my bullshit spilled over to the beautiful thing we had going on but that was then.
I found the right words to plead my case, now that she's given me another chance, I won't mess this up.