Rehearsal Room
I didn't know how long I had been staring at that empty screen.
The message was there.
Delivered.
But the "seen" never came.
Nothing ever came.
The "seen" never came.
And that… ate me alive.
Everything I felt—this hunger, this sleeplessness, this ownerless rage—went completely unnoticed.
Nothing. Not a word.
Just the void.
And that silence, burning hotter than any scream.
I was still here.
Destroying myself.
Bam.
My knuckles hit the floor again.
Not for choreography.
Not for rehearsal.
Out of frustration.
I messed up the spin again.
Lost the count again.
And started over once more.
"Sorry to interrupt," my manager entered, crossing his arms. "You don't look well lately. You're pale… and tired."
I didn't respond.
I just looked at him through the mirror.
Sweaty.
Unhinged.
Animalistic.
Aggressive.
My reflection no longer seemed human.
"I haven't slept. I don't feel well. I'm not okay."
"Then go home. Take a shower. We have an important meeting."
"Can we reschedule?"
"No. It's direct from the CEO."
I clicked my tongue. Of course.
"Who will be in that meeting?"
"Jeongmin. You. And another trainee."
"Another trainee?"
I straightened up.
"What trainee?"
"He didn't say. But it's someone in the spotlight."
"Eliz."
It had to be her.
Of course. Who else would the CEO push for with such urgency?
Her, with that trembling voice and that sweet gaze.
She, who shouldn't have anything to do with this world.
Who shouldn't even be in this building.
And yet… she's deep in it.
"I'll sleep later. For now, I'm going to shower. Don't knock when you come. Just wait."
I grabbed my jacket from the floor and left.
I couldn't breathe.
I took the stairs.
I couldn't bear the idea of the elevator's confinement.
I needed air… even if it was stale.
But halfway up the stairs…
A brush.
A slight collision.
And electricity. Brutal. Like a shot of energy.
"Sorry…"
And there he was.
Jong-Suk.
Face to face.
That boy.
That stupidly sincere smile.
We had crossed paths before.
But now… there was something different.
He looked happy.
Whole.
Light.
And I…
I was a wreck.
Trapped.
Extinguished.
He looked at me. As if barely recognizing me.
But I remembered him.
He was the crack.
The exact moment I realized I wasn't the only one looking at Eliz as if she might break.
"I know you have that 'good boy' image," he said, not looking directly at me, "but don't ever make that face at her again."
My blood boiled.
I restrained the impulse.
Smiled.
Played the part.
"Sorry. It's just… she provokes tenderness. Don't you think? She's a little sensitive."
But… I paused.
"Don't worry. I don't like tender girls. They just make me feel a little sorry."
And he smiled.
Bastard.
That smile…
It was the winner's smile.
And I knew it. Knew it in my chest.
In my teeth.
In my fists.
He touched her.
He kissed her.
And now he walks… as if he owes nothing to the world.
As if she already belongs to him.
And the worst part…
He isn't wrong.
"See you later," he said.
And he walked up.
And I…
Stayed there.
Still.
Planning.
---
Apartment, Early Morning
I threw the jacket to the floor.
Didn't bother turning on the light.
The door slammed behind me, echoing through the empty apartment.
And still, the noise wasn't enough to drown what I carried inside.
I went straight to the bathroom, yanked off my sweaty shirt, and turned on the shower abruptly, not waiting for the water to warm.
Cold.
Freezing.
Better this way.
I stood under the stream, eyes open, jaw tight.
And I saw his face.
Eliz.
So fragile.
So soft.
So unattainable.
So touched. By another.
I clenched my fists.
Hit the wall with my right hand.
Once.
Again.
Again.
The tile creaked.
I leaned on both hands, gasping.
"Did he kiss her?"
"Did he kiss her?"
"Did she let him?"
"Did she… want it?"
A moan escaped my throat.
I didn't know if it was rage or pain.
Damn it. Jong-Suk.
That face of stupid peace.
As if everything had been handed to him.
As if she already belonged to him.
"And what if she does?"
A dry laugh exploded in my chest.
What if he really took her?
What if he touched her before I even got close?
All this time…
I restrained myself.
Watching from afar.
Hoping she would notice me.
But she just avoids me.
She only looks at him.
I pressed my forehead against the wall.
The water kept falling, relentless, over my trembling back.
I don't want to be this guy.
But I saw her first.
I felt first.
And now he walks around smiling as if Eliz were a secret that belongs to him.
As if she was born to kiss him.
To hug him.
To moan his name.
I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.
I want to erase him.
I want him to regret it.
I want her to see me the way she sees him.
I want to be the only voice in her head.
The only breath on her neck.
The only fire in her chest.
I can't take it anymore.
I can't keep seeing her with that idiot.
I can't keep swallowing this rage.
I have to do something.
And when I do…
He won't understand what's coming.