I leaned in the hall, my body propped against the wall, the cold of the plaster holding me fast, keeping me from breaking.
Sofia 's heels were clicking behind me on the wooden floor. I prayed she'd drop it. Returned to her wine and was satisfied with silence. But she followed after me instead.
"Nadine ," she whispered. "Wait."
I faced her, my eyes afire. "What now?"
She spread her hands up like I was some sort of wild animal she didn't wish to frighten. "I just wanted to say something before you go do something… dramatic."
I chuckled bitterly. "You mean cry? Scream? Or perhaps punch you in the face?"
She disregarded that. "We're making you an offer."
I flinched. "Making me an offer?"
"Yes," she said, drawing closer. David and I, we talked. We're willing to compensate you."
I stared at her, stunned. "Pay me? For what? My silence?"
"For everything," she said. "For your time." Your help. Your kidney."
Silence fell around us for a moment. My heart dropped.
"What did you just say?"
Sofia scowled at me. "Your kidney. The one you gave away."
I slowly shook my head. "No. No, I gave it to David. A match, see? He was in the hospital. You weren't even there then."
Her expression didn't change. "Nadine … it was for me."
My breath caught. "No. No, that isn't so. David had head disease. He needed dialysis. He…he lost weight, he was always exhausted…"
"That was a story," she said softly. "We made it up."
I took a step back, the air heavy in my lungs. "What?"
"You were the donor, not him," she said. "And I needed the transplant. David convinced you to do it, used his name in the papers so you'd never even think. You wouldn't have done it if you had any clue it was for me."
The hallway spun.
"Stop talking," I said.
"Nadine …"
"Stop!" I yelled, straining my voice as I shouted against the walls. I clung to the edge of the wall to hold myself steady.
I recalled the hospital. The doctors never make eye contact. The odd moment when they asked me to leave my own recovery room, so the doctors might 'adjust the equipment.' How David would deny me the documents? Told me everything was online. All taken care of. Regardless.
I haven't met my recipient yet. That's what they called it "your recipient." I thought that this is just how it worked.
"Oh my God." I breathed softly.
Sofia went on. "We did not think you would decide that fast. You were… too fast to give. You were eager to give. And he accepted from you."
I folded down the wall to sit on the floor, knees up to my chest.
"You lied to me," I told her. He lied. He said he needed me. I thought…" My voice closed off in my throat. "I thought I was saving his life."
Sofia slumped to the floor a couple of feet in front of me. "You did save a life. Mine."
I stared at her, as if she were a hallucination. "I didn't even know you."
"I know," she whispered, as though that improved it. "But it doesn't alter the fact that you gave me a future."
I wept tears hot down my face. I did not wipe them away.
Sofia took a small envelope out of her pocket and nudged it across the floor to me.
"There are twenty thousand in this. Just to get you started. The rest, twenty million, is on the table. Lawyers, transfers. You'll have it soon. You can walk away from this with whatever you need."
I stared at the envelope like it was poison.
"Think money fixes this?" I croaked. "Think throwing numbers at me makes this okay?"
"It doesn't make it okay," she said. "But it's what we can do."
I wanted to scream. I wanted to tear the whole house down. But all I could do was sit there, shaking, as the world I made turn to dust.
My marriage was a lie.
My sacrifice was stolen from me.
And I had nothing.
Sofia rose again. "Take a few days. Let us know what you require. "We want this to be as easy as possible."
I laughed. Not because anything was funny, but because I didn't know what else to do.
I could feel my body starting to collapse. My fingers were numb, legs too weak to hold me up if I tried to stand.
"I need water," I whispered.
Sofia hesitated. "I'll get it."
She disappeared into the kitchen. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, struggling not to pass out. My chest hurt. Not the usual pain of betrayal, but a dull, throbbing pain near my ribs where the scar from surgery still lingered.
When she returned with the glass, I took it in trembling hands.
"Why?" I whispered. "Why didn't he just tell me the truth?
Sofia sighed. "Because you wouldn't have done it."
I nodded slowly, bitterly. "You're right. I wouldn't have."
She didn't protest.
"I loved him," I said. "I really, really loved him."
"I know."
"I would've done anything for him."
"I know," she said again, softly this time.
I studied her, really studied her. "How do you sleep at night?"
She didn't respond right away. I didn't, for a while. But he came back. And that's all I needed."
I shook my head. "You're a monster."
She shifted to the side. "You can hate me. You should hate me. But you're not going out with nothing. Most women in your situation leave with nothing."
I drank the rest of the water and set the glass down next to me.
She started to move away towards the living room.
"You need to get some rest," she said. "You've had a hard day."
And then she was gone.
I sat there for what felt like an hour. The envelope was beside me like a burden.
Twenty million dollars.
For my kidney.
For my silence.
For pretending like the last three years of my life were real.
I put a hand on my stomach. My scar pounded like it already knew it before I did.
I didn't know what to do next. I didn't know where to go. But I knew one thing:
I was done with others dictating the terms of my life.
I took hold of the envelope and stood, still shaky on my legs. I walked into the living room. David and Sofia sat on the couch again, like nothing ever happened.